Breast Cancer?

Hey Heather,

I am SO sorry to hear about your mom. She about to have one hell of a fight on her hands, but it sounds like she is ready for it. Breast cancer is a very surviveable disease, especially if they caught it early. It also sounds like she is having pretty aggressive treatment, which will definately improve her chances. Stage 1 breast cancer has over a 95% survival rate.

I worked with breast cancer patients for several years after losing my grandmother to the disease. I saw some of the most courageous women during this time. From what you describe, it sounds like your mom is also approaching this diagnosis with courage. Her "wellness" is normal. She is probably terrified, but she is not giving in to playing the sick role and letting the disease take control of her life and emotions. I saw many women find the sudden strength to not only fight the illness, but hold their families together.

As for how you feel, of course fear and sadness go with the territory on this one. The idea of losing your mom and having your life thrown completely out of control would terrify anyone. You're right in that your mom is probably trying to be strong for you. Many women told me that the hardest thing was that they feared their children would no longer treat them like "mom" anymore. That somehow, their children would consider them fragile.

The best thing you can do for your mom is not hide your fear, but also not let it dominate your time with her. Continue to confide in her, make her feel special, ask her what she's doing for fun, and try to keep her spirits up. Research has actually shown that humor, laughter, and positive coping do improve quality of life in cancer patients.

Most of all, have hope and remember to take care of yourself as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

It sounds like your mom is still i shock. My aunt went through this about three years ago. Today she's cancer free and I could never in a million years think she had ever been through breast cancer. She looks great, she's active, and she's her same old sweet self.

The best you can do is be there for her, do your best to be strong. Try to lean on other family members or those close to you in your times of sorrow. I won't say you won't have the bad days, especially when/if you see her down, but you need to know that she can beat this. In fact, many people do. Have faith!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.

I am so, so sorry. Sadly a lot of members of my family have had breast cancer and all are survivors and beat it!!! My grandma is the one that I am closest too. She had a mastectomy done and it saved her life. It is a hard thing to deal with. I am sure your mom is just trying to process and accept it and deal with it. My grandmother said when she found out she had testing and surgery within a week so she said it was months later that she actually dealt with it. She wanted to be strong for her family. She also just didn't have time to be scared and confused and upset. She said she just went into action of lets get rid of this.

It is ok if you can't be strong for your mom because you are human and you are scared. You don't have to put on a brave face everytime you see her. Our family deals with a lot through humor and praying.

Find your strength through God. Have faith and pray. Share with others who will pray for you. I am so sorry your family is going through this. I am crying with you now. I will be praying for you and your mom!!!!!

God bless you!!!!

well, just because your mum has breast cancer, doesnt mean she is going to put her life on hold or stop enjoying.

your mum is clearly a very strong person, and she hasnt let it get to her.

the best thing you can do is accept it.

i know what its like my uncle and aunty both have cancer and my other uncle has just been diagnosed with cancer.

its very hard to take and i really do understand what you're going through.

try not to worry too much, these things happen, your mum is being very brave by accepting it and not letting it get to her.

you should too.

good luck, hope everything is okay for your mum, you and the rest of your family.

I have had three people get through this. you have to be strong, do not be afraid to talk to them about it. if you mom is taking it with a grain of salt then you should too.

don't let her see you being all melodramatic that will worry her more than the cancer.

help her out, give her support but follow her lead. If she is acting normal like nothing is wrong then that is a good thing.

All three of my relatives did that and all three are healthy survivors. Believe it or not, there are worse things that could be happening to her.

I'm so sorry. I couldn't begin to imagine how you must feel. But you have to be strong for your mother.

I wondered if this website could be some help? (for both of you!):

http://www.breastcancersupport.co.uk/

http://bca.ns.ca/

Good luck!

hey i.m. me i need to talk to u about this