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does ferber method makes babies more clingy?has anyone gone thru it first hand,does it eventually go away?

Update:

I am simply asking a question to those ready to burn me at the stake for simply bringing up a cry it out method.

Update 2:

also to the person who suggested I am mad at my child and that my question bothers them, that is ridiculous and just goes to prove how quick we are to judge other mothers negatively, rather than offering support.

7 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    i recently used ferber after EXTENSIVE research. it is not the cruel approach people think it is. i do think my girl was a little clingier during the day because she had been co-sleeping. HOWEVER, after a few days, once she learned how to self soothe, i have found her to be happier. she is not stressed out at bedtime like before, she doesn't fight her naps -- she actually has a far more positive reaction to all things concerning sleep, not a more negative one. and i had worried she would learn to hate her crib. quite the opposite. she is so much happier there now than before (she has always napped in it but fought naps before we used ferber at night. once she had the nights down, the naps fell into place.) and if anyone tries to say that she has "given up" on me, you are wrong. she is happy, engaged, and secure. please do not insinuate as many of you have in the past that this is neglectful or harmful. we love our baby more than life itself and want only what is best for her. this informs all of our decisions. and for many reasons, the best thing for her was learning to sleep. now, ferber may or may not be the right choice for you: it dependson a lot of variables. in any case, i highly recommend the book "sleepeasy." go to www.sleepyplanet.com. good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html

    Leaving a baby to cry evokes physiological responses that increase stress hormones. Crying infants experience an increase in heart rate, body temperature and blood pressure. These reactions are likely to result in overheating and, along with vomiting due to extreme distress, could pose a potential risk of SIDS in vulnerable infants. There may also be longer-term emotional effects. There is compelling evidence that increased levels of stress hormones may cause permanent changes in the stress responses of the infant's developing brain. These changes then affect memory, attention, and emotion, and can trigger an elevated response to stress throughout life, including a predisposition to later anxiety and depressive disorders. English psychotherapist, Sue Gerhardt, author of Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain, explains that when a baby is upset, the hypothalamus produces cortisol. In normal amounts cortisol is fine, but if a baby is exposed for too long or too often to stressful situations (such as being left to cry) its brain becomes flooded with cortisol and it will then either over- or under-produce cortisol whenever the child is exposed to stress. Too much cortisol is linked to depression and fearfulness; too little to emotional detachment and aggression.

    Why make them cry it out??? It is so sad and so hard on their systems.

    For one thing:

    Babies do NOT learn to self soothe via crying it out...YOU teach them to self soothe via modeling it FOR them.

    This question bothers me in more ways than 1: first you allow your baby to cry- and now, because they seem MORE clingy- you are upset with that??? What do you expect from your baby. They are only babies after all.

    We didn't practice cry-it-out for either of ours. I believe it is an awful practice. Ferber IS NOT a pediatrician. He recanted his OWN book....http://babyparenting.about.com/b/2005/11/16/ferber...

    If you are interested, try this book:

    The No-Cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's good, I just finished reading it. Haven't tried it yet, but picked it up and liked what it had to say.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Even if there were no long-term or even short-term effects...even if it was proven harmless...it would still be a shabby thing to do. It is lazy, lousy, neglectful parenting.

    But:

    "America's "let them cry" attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.

    Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they'll feel safe, according to Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry.

    The pair examined childrearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds -- even separate rooms -- and not responding quickly to their cries may lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when these children reach adulthood.

    The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.

    "Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're overly sensitive to future trauma.""

    http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/Chil...

  • 1 decade ago

    i guess u should definitely attend to your baby if he/she cries, but at times you can leave your baby in a swing or rib vid toys so that they also learn to enjoy on their own and you can do some other chores, you need to make a balance but do attend the baby when the baby cries so that the baby feels secure and loved

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Some pretty good arguments.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No, it just makes the child feel neglected.

    Source(s): Food for thought and quote from his book: "Occasionally, as parents increase the time they wait before responding, their child cries so hard he throws up. If that happens, go in even though the time isn't up yet. Clean your child up and change the sheets and pajamas as needed. But do so quickly and matter-of-factly, and then leave again." W O W. Sensitive guy, huh? If this happend to you .. wouldn't YOU feel neglected? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferber_method
  • Poet G
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I haven't read up on ferber but I agree in general that kids should learn to self-comfort, because in the long run they handle stressful situations better and have more coping skills.

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