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20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing
NotEckyBoy
....does it matter if it was copy and pasted i had it sent me ...i thought it was good !
24 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I just tell them that I rent my house and that gets rid of them.
I actually own my house but I found out this little piece of information from when I did used to rent.
- Anonymous5 years ago
I worked as a telemarketer when I was 16....yup 16. The pay was awesome for my first job, but as much as you dont want them to call you.....we dont want to call either. We just have to. I hated saying the same thing over and over again. But it paid for my first car. Don't blame the telemarketer for calling you...blame your bank, credit card company, phone company, cable company, dr's office, employer, ect for putting your damn number on THEIR marketing list. And no, I dont get mad when they call. I just try to do to them what I wanted done to me. Before they go through their big speal about whatever it is they are selling. I tell them im not interested. thank them for their time and thats it. Funny thing, to all you people who are insanely rude to the telemarketer, after you refuse we have to enter a status to our call in a computer. All the jerks that screamed at me. I entered that they requested a call back at 8 am
- Anonymous1 decade ago
They don't call when they like. They call when their fatuous, dull-witted managers tell them to in their terrible, poorly paid job. Do you suppose these people really want to be speaking to you?
For some people, call centre work is the only job they can get at the time. At least show them a bit of respect by simply saying 'no thankyou' and leaving it at that.
- •★ClumsyLv 51 decade ago
Ahahahahahahah OMFG....thanks a lot....this is so damn Awesome, funny and helpful haha lol!
I'll be sure to use some of these great responses :) Especially the one where i keep asking them to repeat themselves ahaha thats Awesome....and the one where i want to write everything down!
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- 1 decade ago
Another one is with double-glazing companies. I tell them that I live in a listed house - that sends them away! But, I love you're other suggestions, and I'm definitely going to keep them by the phone.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Good one.
My favourites are:
1) I'm deaf
2) I'm a small child and want to discuss my bike, pants, pet tadpole etc.
3) I'm a bit "special needs"
4) I have tourettes
5) Repeating everything they say in the style of Cartman
6) Pretend to masturbate
7) Scream incessently
8) Ask if they're selling animal porn, because that's what I really want to buy
9) "Where did you get this number? It's a secure military line. Put your supervisor on immediately..."
10) "A-ga-do-do-do, push pineapplee, shake the tree..." etc.
- KylieLv 51 decade ago
Yes its good - and damn usful too!!
I wish i had this a week ago when i had 2 callers in the space of an hour, while i was trying to look after my sick daughter!!!
- «●тнє яєтυяи●»Lv 71 decade ago
BAHAHAHA! They're classics! I'm copying them all down. Here's a one i like.
When you find out it's a telemarketer, put the phone on the floor or on the desk and let them just keep talking and waiting.
Source(s): STAR! - Anonymous1 decade ago
i always play dyslexic and when they give me numbers like 800-123-4567 i repeat the number like 801-234-7651? then they have to repeat it correctly and i rephrase it wrongly again. we go back and forth about 7-8 times and eventually they give up.
Sometimes i flirt with them and say in a deep low voice how sexy they sounds and i make sounds and say things like mmmmm i just wanna eat you up. i then tell them to talk slower and use a breathier voice. i keep going mmmmm i love it when you talk about sales. go on.. talk to me like that. mmmmm
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Hehe, I tend to hang up as soon as I hear a voice I don't recognise. These sound much more entertaining though :-)
