19 year old daughter driving my husband and I crazy!!! help!!!?

maybe there really is a problem with her X.

give it a second thought.

if you're not gonna send her away,

she might leave your house for good on her own.

you know, she'll never be able to move on,

unless she moves out.

she needs a new environment.

something new to start with.

i know you're quite broke..

but life is short.

you can't waste her youth.

She has only just started on the anti depressants and they usually take a few weeks to start to have any effect and the first few days can have some radical changes on her mood. I personally think she is just dreaming of an escape. Because she can't deal with all her issues in her mind at the moment she is just holding on to running away.

Its commone for people who are depressed to have run away from things, be that jobs, places etc. So I am not at all suprised, I think its just part of her illness.

I would let her hold onto her dreams to move away and allow the meds and therapy to get her on track. She needs some hope to hold on to and clearly since she was tiny moving had been the dream way out. It may not seem healthy but she is obviously about to start a healing process.

Then I would say that the meds will give her more life and energy. When they have started to kick in I would encourage her to take up hobbies that will make her smile. Be it walks, the gym, hopefully something energetic as it gets endorphines pumping which will only help the depression.

Good luck with it!

Most anti-depressants take 10 days to 2 weeks to work. So give the meds a little time. Therapy also takes a while. I wouldn't send her away to college just yet. You should keep her close in case she needs you.

It sounds like she has fixated on the idea that moving will make everything better. What I am confused about is now that she is 19 she can move on her own. Why does she want her family to move? If she started asking to move after break up I would wonder if the x had threatened her family. But since she has been asking to move for years it makes me wonder.

She has only just started the tablets so give it 2 weeks to settle her down before going into panic mode.

In life of course we cant "move away" every time something goes wrong, she will need to understand that. Often too, life is hard and does not pan out the way we want. To a large extent her looking at real estate all day is a bit manipulative, because you have paid attention to it you are giving her a tool to use to get you to do what she wants.

She is 19 and its time for her to start building her own dreams, not maneuvering your life to suite her needs. After all she will in a few years time get her own life, new boyfriend etc., and move on leaving you with a high mortgage and life to live that she chose.

I think you need some TLC and an ear, as you love her dearly and want only the best for her. Many teenagers fall in love with bad people, or suffer issues at school, it's all lessons on life, you can only shelter her for so long.

I think spend less time on focusing on her abuse, and bad negative experiences and start building dreams with her, of how she would like her life to be. And get her into therapy for a short while not too long as it seems she likes to milk a point.

I'm 15 and me and my mom don't get along to well since I've had my son...I've gained a lot of intelligence as a mother since he's been born... What I can say is that your daughter is at an age where she wants to rebel. Honestly, there isn't much you can do. Make a deal with her, tell her if she brings her grades up you'll take her shopping, or something she'd enjoy, that will give her the motivation to keep her grades up. Teenagers don't really respond to discipline it just makes them want to misbehave even more. Just try talking to her and try to figure out what is causing her to act out the way she is. As far as the back talking I'd tell her that if she feels the need to disrespect you that you don't HAVE to buy her clothes, shoes, or anything else. Don't threaten her just let her know you're the parent and if she continues talking to you and your husband that way she won't be getting anything else from the two of you. Good Luck =)

sounds like she is just going through a rough patch, I am 19 too and do occasionally fight with my parents. It can be hard for me as im am a little stressed at the moment from work and am in the middle of looking for another job and so they are just constantly on me about it, telling me to get help from job search place. When i want to do it on my own. I have done the real estate thing before but i kinda did it to scare mum that i am thinking of moving out and when im in a bad mood with them it kinda makes me feel better just looking and imagining when i do move out what i would do where i would go. Its strange i know but makes me feel better. HAHA

I think the best thing to do some nice things together like go to the movies do some shopping spend a bit of time with her and dont talk about anything that will upset her. so i would try that and plan a nice mother and daughter day and do all girly things. Also its always good to, to have little holiday, get away for a few days I think she will love that, will be good for you your husband and your daughter.

anyways i hope i was a little help.

goodluck. :)

I am sorry to hear about your problems. I can very much tell how painful and frustrating this is to you right now...

The bad news is that this issue appears to be much more serious than addressing with an answer on answers.yahoo, and that realistically the only way your daughter will work thru these issues is if she talks to someone professional, like me. I am especially concerned about her use of anti-depressants, as I suspect this was a miss-diagnosis and probably will be eliminated with appropriate therapy. Keep in mind that research has shown that therapy has a better success rate to medicine. It is also substantially better for her health because it will solve the actual problem instead of just masking it...

The good news is that she is still very young, and with the appropriate therapy, guidance, and support from you and your husband she will work thru this and be just fine.

Good Luck!!

i can't say that i know exactly how she feels, but i can understand her needing to be far away from him. i've been in a relationship in which he verbally abused me and spoke of me very explicitly behind my back despite us dating. it hurt me very greatly and even though i was the one that broke up with him, i was, myself, devastated too. it wasn't that i enjoyed the relationship, but more so that i actually loved him.

perhaps that's what your daughter is feeling right now, she gave it her all yet he didn't see it. i can understand she's very hurt right now, and i guess she believes that if you could all move to somewhere far away, she can start anew. and try to forget about what had happened. it evidently does not help that she could very well run into him anywhere she go, seeing that you're all in the same neighbourhood (i assume?). or even if you're not, meybe she just wants to leave this place so that she won't have to remember, however reluctantly, of the past?

about your financial status, i'm sorry i couldn't be of much help on that issue. but i would say,all of you, as a family, should dicuss about this issue more in depth. maybe a solution could come out of it? you're her mother, you raised her, you know her best. you may not be close (?), but nevertheless, you ARE her mother. talk to her. make her open up to you. talking to my mother really helped me. she didn't even need to give me advise; just letting out how i really felt helped. let her know what happened, happened. she can't change that. it's the past. just let her know that she could still have a wonderful life ahead. what happened does not change who she is. be there for her. i know these are just typical advise, and you as a mother of course, would have already thought of that. but it's true, it helps. and i'm saying these from experience. talk. show her that not everything and everyone are mean and cruel, that life is still full of hope (:

blessed be, and may God be with you.

Think back to when you were young and remember that even little things are overly dramatized and emotions run high. It's hard not to fall into a depressive trap if your young. I think she just needs support and love really. Explain to her you can't move. If she doesnt listen let her move away to somewhere for a 2 month trial and if she likes it then leave her to it. If not then maybe she won't hassle to move so much. Just remember her life seems like a wreck to her and even a tiny little arguement with you could cause severe hurt for her.

Moving schools would have been great for someone who got bullied in school. Some people can stand for it, some people can't. Since she got used to being bullied, i guess she thought a bullying man would be fine as well. What she really needs is friends and a new beginning (new school?). If i had to take drugs to feel normal, you might as well $hit on me and tell me everything is going to be ok. Social skills > anything school related in the y2k.

I'd respect her wishes regardless of the financial sacrifice, because your children are infinitely more important than money. Even if hubby will not consider it as doable, then at least go house hunting to demonstrate some sort of encouragement and parental concern. Desperately wish bully guyfriend could visit moir for 15 minutes, then he'd be as gentale as a newborn lamb, dind-dilly-ding-dang it.