How to break it to a friend that her marriage aspirations are illogical?

Question

My friend Jenn likes a guy named Blake. Prior to meeting him, she met his aunt. His aunt said she would be good for Blake. Soon after, their families "happened to meet" at a game. Later, someone proposed that they all go out to eat, so they did.  While at the restuarant when he was seated he never said more than a few words to her. Later, some of his friends stopped by, so he stood up most of the time talking to them. But while he was up talking, his mother talked to Jenn and became aware of the aunt's pairing of the two. From that talk, his mom has since started calling Jenn her daughter-in-law.  Fast forward a few months & now Jenn has added him on Myspace & has sent him a few messages. He has responded once, tersely. Problem #1 is that Jenn doesn't seem to get that he isn't interested, & that being "mother approved" (her term) doesn't gaurantee anything. Regardless, she is sure that they will marry & have kids. Problem #2, she is EXTREMELY sensitve. Everything hurts her feelings.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

this girl needs to get over herself.  The guy is going to have to talk to her and tell her off.  There's nothing anyone else can do to get it through this girl's head...

chromeheartsbrokendollparts · Answer

The guy doesn't like her, but Jenn's blissfully unaware and she's in her own little fantasy bubble. 
You gotta break it to her sooner or later, I'd just tell her straightforward, and if she doesn't get it, she'll at least think about it, and when the truth comes out she'll at least have an idea. 
There's no easy way, and you can't force love. Maybe Jenn's not in love with him, but rather in love with the idea of being in love.  So tell her straightforward, but don't expect anything good. You're doing it for her, not you. Because you're not obliged to do this, you're doing this as a friend who cares about her. Goodd luck! xx

sydneydigsby · Answer

I am not sure that you have to tell her.  If she acts your advice you could hint to her that you don't think he is interested...but if she that sensitive perhaps you shoudln't get in the middle of it.  You are only going to make her feel bad.  What is the harm if she wants to fantasize about being with him?  Perhaps she just likes the dream and what's the harm in that?  Just be a supportive friend and be there for her.  Perhaps soon she will find someone she is more interested in and it will totally take her mind off this guy.

JM · Answer

you could try talking to her gently and say sweetie i'm sorry it just doesn't seem he's interested but odds are if him ignoring her hasn't given her a clue, you won't be able to either! i would just start taking her out for a few girls nights and start scoping for other guys :-) best wishes

Faris Jaclyn Dog Trainer · Answer

That is really weird.
That guys a jerk too.

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How to break it to a friend that her marriage aspirations are illogical?

5 Answers