star if you like! please!!!?

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.

Teacher: Why?

Student: There is no future in it.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ted: $10.

Teacher: You don't know maths.

Ted: You don't know my father!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....

Mother: David, come here.

David: Yes, mum?

Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8

Father: So?

Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.

If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were

Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,

Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father. Daughter: It's mummy!

Father: How do you know?

Daughter: She didn't say anything.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No, mine is undying love

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

------------ --------- --------- --------- ---

Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did u copy his?

Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Teacher: "Where were u born?"

Student: "Singapore, Sir."

Teacher: "Which part?"

Student: "All of me, Sir."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'

And 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.

"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.

"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is

A sick eagle."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"

Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."

Teacher: "Use your dad's then."

Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A boy came home from school with his exam results.

"What did u get?" asked his father.

"My marks are under water," said the boy.

"What do u mean 'under water'?"