How is getting a mother married for the second time?

Salaam, this is a good question, and a difficult one to face. It is good you are giving us this to think about. Jazak'Allahu khairan, ukhti.

My mother and father divorced, because my father began drinking alcohol and this caused many bad incidents to occur. My mother gave him several years to stop drinking but he would not (once a person realizes they are an alcoholic, it is very difficult for them to stop drinking). It was very hard on us to know they got a divorce after they were married for 24 years. =( None of us were at home, which made it a bit less difficult to accept, plus we had all seen what the alcohol did to my father and we supported my mother's decision 100%. We also tried to convince my father to get help but he thought we were being disrespectful, which was not our intent. =( So we spent time offering du'a for him; once a person is caught in an addiction they can only be free with the help of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

Alhamdulillah my father stopped drinking a little over a year ago. =) I pray he will never pick up the glass again inshallah. Few people truly realize how badly alcohol can affect people's lives, and here in the US it seems like everyone drinks alcohol, so it's everywhere.

My mother met a man in the hospital while she was undergoing chemotherapy, and he also was also undergoing cancer treatment. They talked a few times a week in the cancer support group, and about two months later he asked her to marry him. Neither of them have much time left (I offer du'a every single day that Allah Azza wa Jall will heal them inshallah), but they are married now and plan to spend the time they have left together. Alhamdulillah they are very happy, and since they got married they have both gotten healthier. I think it has been good for them, and all of us (there are six children in my family) are very happy for them.

My mother's husband knows he does not replace my father, and he would never expect to. He treats my mom very well, and they help eachother out while they undergo their treatments.

The most difficult thing for us, actually, was when my father remarried. He met his new wife while doing volunteer work, and they got married two weeks later. They are not "in love" but married anyway for convenience (so she would have a man to take care of her and drive her around, and he would have a woman in the house to cook and clean, etc.). It works out well for them, but neither of them are happy, which is sad for us to see. =( Inshallah they will get to know eachother better and find that there is love there.

I cannot imagine what I would do if I had been in my mother's situation (getting divorced). At least we had all moved out, so she did not need to worry about finding someone to help raise us, but even beyond the children there are so many reasons that it would be strange for me to remarry (may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala prevent this from ever being necessary). I do not ever want to be married to someone other than my husband inshallah, and besides I cannot imagine trying to find someone to marry with four small children. (O_O)

Even though it was difficult to see my mother and father get divorced and then each get remarried, we did not try and stop them. They are our parents and we respect their choices. The only time we intervened was regarding the alcohol, and Alhamdulillah Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave my father the ability to stop drinking. Beyond that, they are our parents for a reason. I do not wish to disrespect them or their decisions inshallah. Allahu alam.

When my dad died my mom raised us and she was single for 6 years then she married this hot dude,,looolz I'm telling ya I was only 13 but my older sisters got so mad at my mother,lolz and guess what she asked for a divorce because my sister swore that she was going to shoot the guy. They where so jealous and did not want to share mom's attention with anyone.

Now that we are older we feel horrible for the way my sisters acted.

if my mum wanted to get married again (if my dad was out of her life or something) then its up to her

i want her happiness, so i wont stop her from doing anything from getting that happiness

but maybe its easier said than done coz i wont like to see anyone taking my dads place....that would hurt so much

=)

edit:

i know what u mean, but i would make sure my mum was doing whatever made her happy, as long as there's a smile on her face im ok....but i'd miss my dad sooo much

even just thinking about this situation right now is getting me teary eyed.....i hope my mum n dad r always together =)

Of course i would not "make" them get married again but i would ask them to put it into consideration so they can live a happier life with a spouse.

If she does get married i would never be angry about it i would be happy for her, because if she's happy I'm happy.

Well i don't think i would be able to stop my mother from remarrying...maybe my older brother would not want that....but it would initially be my mother's choice....and i agree with zahrah- i wouldn't really want anyone to replace my father's position

but then again- it would be my mother's choice

LMAO the one about the rich man was funny 2

Whatever makes her happy. you cant force someone into a lifetime of loneliness. its not fair. As long as the person she wants to get married to is decent I would be happy for her.

It is entirely the mother's decision. Allah supports this as well. As her child either you support her decision or dissent.

I would support whatever would make her happy and be good for her wellbeing. If that was marriage, so be it.

She''s ma mama and I'm gonna let her do what she want.

Yew hord?