If the man riding around town on his lawn mower offers me a ride, what should I say?

Mow my lawn first, and not the one down south.

If the engine won't fire make sure the levers controlling the cutters and the undercarriage are pulled back. If the engine starts and dies after a couple of seconds you will need to change the fuel filter - it is in-line and notorious for getting blocked. After you have cured the fault cover the funnel with a fine gauze (old tights) before you re-fuel.

Nothing. But somewhere, in the distant background a radio will be playing one of two songs. If the song is Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way" then you should wink, smile, and jump on screaming "Woo hoo!" and waving your sexy pink cowgirl hat as you spank dat Deere.

If the song is Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around," just kill him on the spot and run. Just run.

no thank you! I have my own lawn mower to ride on....

Say "I'll ride you if you get off that mower."

<--- too bitter to be funny

Ask him what he'll charge to 'do' yours...assuming he's not giving you a ride to the QuikieMart.

well the all important question did he have beer? if yes then get ur @ss on that mower. don't make me b!tchslap u

Only if I can hold the stick shift ! thats what you should say . Don't want you to fall off !

Those things vibrate quite a bit, you might enjoy it.

Ask him when the judge said he would get his license back.