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Don't mess with old ladies??
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!!
22 Answers
- Canadian,Eh?Lv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
lol good one
2 grandmas were sitting in their rocking chairs on the porch,reminicing about the good ole days.
One grandma says to the other grandma..dear do you remeber the minuet (dance btw)...she says darn...i cant even remember the min i screwed never mind the min i et!
a flasher was going up to old ladies in a nursing home flashing...they all had big strokes.....well he went up to one last lady....poor old lady.....she couldnt reach it!
Birth Control Pills
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."
An 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, he was seen walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to him and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
He replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful."
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Very good! I'll get some mileage out this joke! Hahaha
I'm sorry, I love puns. I'm pun over now, don't worry.
- Anonymous5 years ago
The old lady is my kinda gal senior powa
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Here's 5 stars for the joke/riddle: *****
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
i dont like that old lady but have a star and nice joke keep up the good work!!! :D
- Anonymous1 decade ago
So thats when you went BANANAS and SPLIT later by your Dept.? :) my dear 1st officer! HA HA HA
- ツⒷïдLv 51 decade ago
lol
that is SO funny
have a star
hhahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahah
L
O
L
keeeeeeeeeeeep them coming
lollololololol
hahahahahaha
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I already read this one, but its still funny!
