I love him but not IN love with him??

Do you want your child to grow up around a person like that? Just because he's not cruel to her now doesn't mean he won't be in the future. Want to take that chance?

Time to stop endangering both your life and hers.

You probably fell out of love the minute he physically abused you. You have done well to stay with him this long - surely, you must be scared of him - what happens the next time he flips? Being in a situation like this is certainly not good for you or indeed, your daughter. Forget for a minute finding someone else - think about your and your child's future and importantly, your safety. If you feel that your partner is no longer aggressive and you can build a future with him then stay and make it work - people can overcome their aggression. However, if deep down you are living in fear, wondering when the next attack will be then move on. Your partner can continue to see your daughter - so long as you feel she is safe in his company.

as a child grows up, she sees how unhappy her parents are together. she will realize that it is out of her sake, and will feel really guilty and sad. she might grow up to be in the same position.

my suggestion is to ask for his opinion: a marriage counsler or divorce. if you try the counselor and it doesn't work, then the only thing left to do is divorce (and remain friends).

however, if you feel he is a serious threat, it might not be a good idea to leave your daughter with him... even if he is nice to her now. With added stress he could lash out on her by accident. TELL HIM that he scares you when you are violent towards you. Tell him that if he truly loved you he would act in a loving manner.

regardless, talk to him (without fighting!!!)

gentle words... no accusing him of being a horrible person or anything like that... be nice and he should cooperate.

good luck and i hope no matter what happens you are happy.

Leave now! He is not a good father to your daughter if he displayed that sort of behavior in front of her and not a good husband if he is violent to you.

I'm sure people will say he deserves a second chance but you are obviously out of love with him not in love with him. Staying with him because of your daughter is denying you happiness that you could be showing your daughter is 'out there' for you and her!!

Staying will mean you will eventually resent him more and more and feel trapped....that will be picked up by your daughter and partner.

Leave now...you deserve to be happy and loved by someone who respects you and doesn't use you as a punching bag!

Best of luck x.

This is a difficult question to answer. I got divorced and raised my two childen alone, whilst going to work. It was very difficult. It would be just as difficult to raise an autistic child alone. You would be unlikely to find someone who would be a kind to your daughter as her natural father and I chose not to have another man in my life for the sake of my children. I would try to make it work if you can, although I certainly don't condone what he did.

If he is physically assaulting you, you owe him nothing and you owe it to your child to give them a safe environment in which to grow up. However, seeing as the last time was two years ago, it complicates things. If you feel that he would do it again then leave him and take your child with you. If you feel he wouldn't then maybe the best thing would be to have a divorce and share looking after the child, if he is a good parent.

Stay only if he will seek counseling for his abusive tendencies.Otherwise,leave him alone and forgive him if he will not stop his abuse.You are not bound to him as a wife; you can love him as the father of your daughter. It is possible for the romantic love to return, but that cannot be if he does not refrain from the physical and verbal assault. Ultimately, it is your decision, but base it on fact, not fiction.

Do you think it is good for your daughter to be brought up witnessing violence, particularly towards her mother?

O.K. It was a dislocated jaw once - what happens next time - a broken neck?

You have to decide what is the best environment for your child.

You know what you need to do. Get out for the sake of your daughter. Truly, it is not benefitting her to be in a household like the one you are in now. It is better not to have a father than have an abusive one. Get out sweetie! God Bless you!

well girl i am in the same kind of relationship myself. he has hit me more then once and i love him but not n love with him any more. we have 2 kids and i stay home with them both and have for 7 years. i look at him at times and hate that i ever stayed here and that we are still together. not he is trying really hard to get it together but i just don't feel the same about him at all!!!!!

so i am with you on this one and don't know what to do here either. sucks and i hate this mess!!! good luck to ya and hang in there.