I want to go to Hawaii with my husband for our 10th anniversary. Any suggestions on when and where to go?

depends if you want to go someplace that would keep you totally isolated away from buildings and cities i would suggest you go to the Big Island maybe Waikaloa Resort there's condos there if you dont want to stay at the hilton for a week, but your son might not have anything to do because there is only golf courses and a mall nothing really for kids except a pool. But it might be good for him to go and see the Hawaii Volcanos National Park to have a chance to see lava. or see Akaka falls

On the other hand if you want to have some things for your son to do i would suggest you go to Oahu and stay at someplace in Waikiki there is a lot to do here for example it is in walking distance to Ala Moana "the mall". you could go to the north shore and see a bit of "old" hawaii.

But if i were you i would see both and spend 4 days in Oahu and 3 days at Big Island

I would not spend too mych time on the island of Oahu with Honolulu and Wakki. If I went back, a day or two there is all, I would spend at the most. It is cool to see Pearl Harbor, and rent a car and drive the Eastern side of the Island. The Polynesian Culture Center is fantastic. The Eastern drive is amazing. On the north shore that is where the pipeline surfing happens(I think the big waves are in Jan-Feb).Do not leave valuables in a rental car anywhere on Oahu island, and I would leave a window cracked. Big breaking into car problems there. Happened to me.

Look into the big island, with the volcano national park, You can rent a car there and it is amazing, the scenery. The volcano is very cool to see at night, but go early afternoon to orient yourself. Maui is a great island to visit. Maybe spend two or three days on Maui and two or three .days on the big island(Hawaii). Have a great time:)

Aqua palms and spa

Hyatt regency waikiki

Westin Maui

Hilton Hawaiian Village All kid friendly hotels.

My sister got a great deal at this site plus you can see pics and read travelers reviews and maps. http://redhotescapes.com/ I stayed at the Hilton and it was nice. Pricey though