adults only?

so the other day...I read in p&S a lady calling another lady a "twa*" (not the airline variety here).

not that I care, not that I am a prude....but I was like woh! that's kinda vulgar...don't know that I would use that term...

so my mind turned to what I would say....

and this is what I came up with:

cooter, scootch, monkey, the beav...

what other "greyish" terms are out there that aren't over the top and too vulgar?

give me a star, as many creative answers as possible....and you will get that much coveted 10 pts...