Want to hear some HILARIOUS JOKES...?

I like the Barbie one! :) I starred your question

nice jokes

-meg

The Pastor's ***

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he

entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S *** OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he

ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another

race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES

PASTOR'S ***.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to

get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted

the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to

get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS *** FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun

to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it

could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD

AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about

public opinion can bring you much grief and misery. . .

even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's *** and

you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Have a nice day!

Susan goes to see the doctor about getting a facelift. “OK,” says the doctor. “I can do the facelift but you´ll have to come back again in 6 months for a follow-up. ”Oh no,” says Susan, “I want it done all at once without having to come back!”

The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “We do have a new procedure that doesn't require your coming back”. “What is it,” she asks. “Well,” says the doctor, “We insert a small screw into the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appear, you give it a small turn and the wrinkles disappear.” “Wonderful,” says Susan. “Let´s do that”!

Six months later, Susan comes charging into the doctor´s office. ”How´s the procedure working? “ says the doctor. “Terrible,” yells Susan. “It´s the biggest mistake I ever made! Just look at these bags under my eyes!”

“Susan” the doctor answers “Those aren´t bags! They´re your breasts! and if you don´t stop turning that screw, you´re going to have a beard!”

they werent funny you need to sharpen up, ps they have been put on this website to many times these are just old!

i like the last one the most, the other two are just alright.

Golden oldies, but still laughable, lol, have a star...!

funny jokes..... loved it .....gave me a good laugh

.....good job.....keep up the good jokes

ya sorry but i didn't find those to be funny. they were so lame.

That's cute.

can I have ten points.

I starred your question.?

(;

funny.