What's your opinion about parents reading their teens' e-mail?

Email is a remarkable source of information. People at home and at work say all kinds of things in email that really opens the reader's eyes. It's this rich source of info that makes it really tempting to get into, even if it means compromising your values. I would prefer to find other ways to effectively communicate with my kids, and to know what they are up to if at all possible. Self esteem and respect starts in the home, and I've taught my kids that I trust them. They've proven to me that I can trust them. It's not easy, reading email is the shortcut that causes trauma in the long run. Only under extreme circumstance, like a child running away from home, would I agree to reading my kids email.

The part that bothers me the most though, is that she reads his texts all the time and he is not allowed to talk to any girls, or any of his friends she does notlike. He uses his Msn to talk to the people he is not allowed to, yet she will continuously come to the computer an ask who he's talking to an begin reading the conversations. It's not right. He has never been out, never drank, nor ever done any type, or been around people doing drugs. He has nothing to hide, but she wont understand that. That is when it gets to the point where a parent has to step back an give the kid a life. Especialy since he stayed home for six months after his dad had a heart atack an watched him, that there proves enough maturity where a parent should not be reading his texts nor Msn conversations.I can understand the worries of a parent, and sometimes, curiousity can get to people. It's not a hard crime, but it is a breach of trust in a sense. I think that there is no changing something like this - because it is all based on individual behaviour and character. Some parents won't bother, some parents would go farther than just reading their teens' emails, but the bottom line is, whatever they do - there can't be a definite boundary that determines as to how far they can go. I think each household has their own method, and it isn't something that can be fully controlled. So to answer the question, it would be a straight NO.

He has to go everywhere with his mom. The part that bothers me the most though, is that she reads his texts all the time and he is not allowed to talk to any girls, or any of his friends she does notlike. He uses his Msn to talk to the people he is not allowed to, yet she will continuously come to the computer an ask who he's talking to an begin reading the conversations. It's not right. He has never been out, never drank, nor ever done any type, or been around people doing drugs. He has nothing to hide, but she wont understand that. That is when it gets to the point where a parent has to step back an give the kid a life. Especialy since he stayed home for six months after his dad had a heart atack an watched him, that there proves enough maturity where a parent should not be reading his texts nor Msn conversations.I can understand the worries of a parent, and sometimes, curiousity can get to people. It's not a hard crime, but it is a breach of trust in a sense. I think that there is no changing something like this - because it is all based on individual behaviour and character. Some parents won't bother, some parents would go farther than just reading their teens' emails, but the bottom line is, whatever they do - there can't be a definite boundary that determines as to how far they can go. I think each household has their own method, and it isn't something that can be fully controlled. So to answer the question, it would be a straight NO.

He uses his Msn to talk to the people he is not allowed to, yet she will continuously come to the computer an ask who he's talking to an begin reading the conversations. It's not right. He has never been out, never drank, nor ever done any type, or been around people doing drugs. He has nothing to hide, but she wont understand that. That is when it gets to the point where a parent has to step back an give the kid a life. Especialy since he stayed home for six months after his dad had a heart atack an watched him, that there proves enough maturity where a parent should not be reading his texts nor Msn conversations.I can understand the worries of a parent, and sometimes, curiousity can get to people. It's not a hard crime, but it is a breach of trust in a sense. I think that there is no changing something like this - because it is all based on individual behaviour and character. Some parents won't bother, some parents would go farther than just reading their teens' emails, but the bottom line is, whatever they do - there can't be a definite boundary that determines as to how far they can go. I think each household has their own method, and it isn't something that can be fully controlled. So to answer the question, it would be a straight NO.

I don't like to see that a common theme seems to be that teens seem to want to have equal rights as their parents, unfortunately, this is not the case. Parents inherently have extra rights over their kids, if they are legally responsible for the kids until 18, they must also have the right to control aspects of the kids lives if the child could be getting the parent in trouble for something. I don't think that they should be reading kids' e-mails, but I think they have the right to if there is a serious issue that the teen refuses to divulge information that the parent has a right to. This should never be an issue in the first place, teens and parents should be equally honest with each other, but if the teen won't be honest, the parent does reserve the right to their child's lives if circumstances call for it. Where you want to draw the line on these "circumstances" is where the issue should be debated.Trust is a two way thing that has to be earned. Parents should, at some point, trust that their children are knowledgable enough not to be getting into serious trouble, and children should not give their parents any reason to make their parents distrust them and even have to go as far as reading their emails by always just being honest and mature about situations.

The parent should not attack the child or accuse them but be open and understanding; if it is something as important as sex,drugs,gun violence,or bullying,have a conversation with your teen in a casual setting such as eating dinner,driving in the car or when you're taking them shopping,teens will often back down when they feel like they're getting the "big talk" they're more likely to open up when they're in a non-threatening environment and don't expect them to tell you everything all at once, conversations about these things should be ongoing and hopefully parents won't need to read their kid's e-mails but until then,I say sometimes it is the only way parents can get the slightest idea of what is going on in their child's life.but it is a breach of trust in a sense. I think that there is no changing something like this - because it is all based on individual behaviour and character. Some parents won't bother, some parents would go farther than just reading their teens' emails, but the bottom line is, whatever they do - there can't be a definite boundary that determines as to how far they can go. I think each household has their own method, and it isn't something that can be fully controlled. So to answer the question, it would be a straight NO.

I don't like to see that a common theme seems to be that teens seem to want to have equal rights as their parents, unfortunately, this is not the case. Parents inherently have extra rights over their kids, if they are legally responsible for the kids until 18, they must also have the right to control aspects of the kids lives if the child could be getting the parent in trouble for something. I don't think that they should be reading kids' e-mails, but I think they have the right to if there is a serious issue that the teen refuses to divulge information that the parent has a right to. This should never be an issue in the first place, teens and parents should be equally honest with each other, but if the teen won't be honest, the parent does reserve the right to their child's lives if circumstances call for it. Where you want to draw the line on these "circumstances" is where the issue should be debated.Teenagers are generally not interested in interacting with their parents, and is hardly a sign for concern. However, if evidence suggests that the child is injuring themselves, or experimenting with drugs beyond marijuana (I don't think simple marijuana is of any concern), or they seem to be brought home by the police far too often, then it is only then that a parent should try and force the child into talking. .If the kid doesn't want to talk after that, and all other avenues have been exhausted, then and only then should a parent even consider reviewing their child's e-mail.

The "Can't be Bothered Parent" these don't care at all what their kids do; 2: The "Controlling Parent" these believe they care but are over-protective, (these would go so far as to tell the spider on the wall how it should crawl); 3: The "Nervous Parent" these don't quite know what to do and tend to reverse their decisions frequently and confuse their children; and 4: The "Common Sense Parent" These do not wait for the "TEEN YEARS" to show up before forming a trusting relationship with their children, they start from the time the child is born and keep the lines of communication open at all times. If you have made it possible for your child to trust you from an early age, the teen years will be far less difficult. I am not saying easy here because there will be enough other stuff going on in your child's life that you will need to talk about together, such as life choices. Trust should have been well established by then. Reading your child's e-mails should not be the focus of your relationship at this stage. If you have to do this to understand your child, you are way too late!

In my house, the internet is actually pretty new. I didn't have regular access to it until I was in my early 20's (before that, I only used the internet at school- mainly for research). When I'm on the internet now, I am extremely careful about who I come into contact with, who has my email address, and what type of information I share. In a way, I am thankful that I didn't have any access to it as a teen, because I honestly think I could have gotten myself into some trouble. Knowing myself, I probably would have been a lot less cautious than I am now (and I was also *a lot* more secretive at the time). My parents aren't familiar with computers at all, so I know that they would have had a lot of trouble monitoring my activities and keeping things safe.Trust is a two way thing that has to be earned. Parents should, at some point, trust that their children are knowledgable enough not to be getting into serious trouble, and children should not give their parents any reason to make their parents distrust them and even have to go as far as reading their emails by always just being honest and mature about situations.

I think I have a good perspective from both sides. I don't like to see that a common theme seems to be that teens seem to want to have equal rights as their parents, unfortunately, this is not the case. Parents inherently have extra rights over their kids, if they are legally responsible for the kids until 18, they must also have the right to control aspects of the kids lives if the child could be getting the parent in trouble for something. I don't think that they should be reading kids' e-mails, but I think they have the right to if there is a serious issue that the teen refuses to divulge information that the parent has a right to. This should never be an issue in the first place, teens and parents should be equally honest with each other, but if the teen won't be honest, the parent does reserve the right to their child's lives if circumstances call for it. Where you want to draw the line on these "circumstances" is where the issue should be debated.

I think that if a teen is heading down a wrong path or is suspected of doing so that reading emails can be very beneficial to see what is really happening in a teens life and in their social world outside of the home. This can help the parents to protect the teen and I understand that some may say that the teen needs privacy or that they need to make their own mistakes to learn but there are many instances where a parent may have been down that path or has seen it occur before and knows that there is a point where the parent needs to step in and take some control. A teen is still a child in many aspects and does still need some help towards going down the right path and reading emails can help with where the teen is currently headed. Although on the other hand if the teen has always been responsible and honest with their parents then there shouldn't be many reasons why parents should read their emails, since they have not shown any reason not to be trusted.