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I "fixed" it, Critique for my poem???
To whom it may concern
I'm not weak
I cry just like you
To whom it may concern
Don't push me around
To whom it may concern
Mcdonalds is disgusting
I'm a coffee addict
To whom it may concern
I wanted to be a pastor
To whom it may concern
History interests me
i love country music
To whom it may concern
i hate what i've become
To whom it may concern
Sometimes i miss private school
My dad confuses me
To whom it may concern
I love tripp pants
To whom it may concern
I want a tattoo
I'm piercing my nose
To whom it may concern
One day my hair will be black
To whom it may concern
i love singing in the shower
Once i start no one will stop me
To whom it may concern
This is who i am
To whom it may concern
3 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
off the top, in it's written form, way too many repeats. So many, I won't even say it again for fear of slipping into a coma.
That might work for a performance, but reading that immediately turns me, the reader, off.
Other than that: simple theme, not asking for recognition or apology. I like it.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I thought it was good, kind of like an "I Am" poem, but I think that while you should keep some of the "to whom it may concern's", maybe you should take out a few to keep the rhythm and poetic style. I also think you should keep it without punctuation.
Hope I helped!
- 1 decade ago
i liked the general feel in the poem but i think you should cut out some to whom it may concerns. or maybe keep the lines in between a constant length so u have a rhythm going.
