Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and the Yahoo Answers website is now in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Kelsea R asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

I "fixed" it, Critique for my poem???

To whom it may concern

I'm not weak

I cry just like you

To whom it may concern

Don't push me around

To whom it may concern

Mcdonalds is disgusting

I'm a coffee addict

To whom it may concern

I wanted to be a pastor

To whom it may concern

History interests me

i love country music

To whom it may concern

i hate what i've become

To whom it may concern

Sometimes i miss private school

My dad confuses me

To whom it may concern

I love tripp pants

To whom it may concern

I want a tattoo

I'm piercing my nose

To whom it may concern

One day my hair will be black

To whom it may concern

i love singing in the shower

Once i start no one will stop me

To whom it may concern

This is who i am

To whom it may concern

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    off the top, in it's written form, way too many repeats. So many, I won't even say it again for fear of slipping into a coma.

    That might work for a performance, but reading that immediately turns me, the reader, off.

    Other than that: simple theme, not asking for recognition or apology. I like it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I thought it was good, kind of like an "I Am" poem, but I think that while you should keep some of the "to whom it may concern's", maybe you should take out a few to keep the rhythm and poetic style. I also think you should keep it without punctuation.

    Hope I helped!

  • 1 decade ago

    i liked the general feel in the poem but i think you should cut out some to whom it may concerns. or maybe keep the lines in between a constant length so u have a rhythm going.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.