What are.....?

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

----

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all

these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,

so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are

smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is

going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets

down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and

smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living

room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at

the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks

what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him

that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by

painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket

over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the

directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

---

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

---

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.

As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it!

The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away.

He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said,

"I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.

I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"

HOPE YOU LIKE THESE :)

Q: How do blonde braincells die?

A: Alone.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?

A: She'd just dyed her hair.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?

A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?

A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?

A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?

A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?

A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?

A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?

A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax)

A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes go in first.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

A1: Introduces themself.

A2: Walks home.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?

A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?

A: Data transfer.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?

A: Because they don't know any better.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1: "What's a lightbulb?"

A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?

A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?

A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What will she ask you?

A: "Is it mine?"

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?

A: To see what was on the other side

Blonde Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”

Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”.

Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?”

blonde version of who wants to be a millionaire:

fastest finger question: put these Rocky movies in order starting with the earliest.....Rocky 1,Rocky 2,Rocky 3,Rocky 4

These 2 blonde girls drove to Disneyland.They saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" So they went left and went back home.

They found 2 blonde girls frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre. They went to see "Closed For The Winter".

why cant blondes make kool-aid

they cant figure out how they get 8 cups water in the koolaid packet

Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths."

Blond: Yeth. And I'm not even thickteen yet

how did the blonde get square boobs

she forgot to take the kleenix out of the box

this blonde ladys friend was somewhat injured and needed to go to the hospital for medical attention.So she eventually got her to the emrgency.So the nurse at the er asked her why didnt she just cal "911"? The blonde lady said"well i couldnt find the "11" button."

two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which the other blonde replies, "no those are deer tracks!" they argue for about an hour. next morning, news headlines read:two blondes, killed by train.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?

A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?

A: The joystick is wet

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?

A1: Thanks Guys.

A2: Are you boys all in the same band

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A: The more you bang it the looser it gets

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?

A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?

A: Wave

Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ***?

A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?

A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?

A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Not a blonde joke so much as a blonde moment of mine, but it was very funny!! I was outside talking to a friend and kept looking over his head with a confused look on my face. He said "what are you looking at". I said I did't know there was a road up there! He turned around and said "Lyndsay that's an airplain! LOL Antoher time I was in my friends truck. We went to the carwash and we were not even out of the parking lot yet when I turned around and said "When did it rain"? :)

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

you can read more here

http://www.coolblondejokes.com/FunnyJokes/

I only know one. So here it goes: A blonde was ironing the curtins and fell out of the window. And you are so right the are soooooo funny!

A blonds is texting and keeps asking what idk means and everyone replays i don't know and the blonds would say i don't know eather.

Sarah beth i dnt get the first joke