I am engaged but have a lot of baggage, please give advice, please?

It sounds like to me you're a bit confused as to who you really want. If your fiance is a wonderful man, he's probably being faithful to you. Don't you feel just a little guilty messing around on him? I think you may need to get a little time away from both guys to do a little soul-searching. If you decide you want Chris forever, then the decent thing to do would be to break things off with your fiance. It would be better to do that now than end up in divorce court later. If you truly love the man you're engaged to, you need to tell Chris to take a hike.

Step 1: Become UN-ENGAGED. Right now. Stop your wedding before you get yourself, your fiance, and your former boyfriend into a situation that is even MORE of a disaster than this one is. I guarantee you that the pain of breaking off the engagement is NOTHING compared to the pain (and expense) of going through a divorce when your husband realizes that you've been doinking this other guy. Step 2: It is long past time for you to engage in a serious assessment of BOTH of these relationships. You say your fiance is a wonderful man...if he's so wonderful, how come you can't keep your legs closed whenever Chris calls you up? If you're REALLY in love with Chris, how come you accepted your fiance's proposal? Really, honey, at the end of the day, you need to take ownership of your romantic situation and STOP BEING SO FREAKING SELFISH! Just as you deserve to have Chris treat you better, your fiance deserves to have a fiancee/wife that can control her "urges" when it comes to other men.

You sound very immature and childish. Why are you engaged so damn early? People are together for years before they get married. Understand that you aren't a little princess in a fairytale. You can't pick and choose who you want because that's not how it works. You need to stick with your fiance and get over your ex, or you can let him go because you can't make a suitable wife if you are thinking of someone else. Marriage takes a lot of committment and work, you can't be thinking of anyone else but him, and if you are thinking of someone else, it is not a happy marriage, it is a fantasy. You have no place to even think of getting married. I can't believe that someone so undeserving as you even is engaged. I've been a loving committed girlfriend for over a year and we've talked about marriage but don't plan on it for until we finish university. You on the other hand, jumped right in without thinking it through. What you call love is only lust, you need to grow up, stop thinking about yourself, and make the right choice. You should NOT be marrying a poor sweet guy who has no clue what a backstabbing ***** you are; let him find someone who can treat him how he deserves.

then wait til Chris is ready, don't marry your current boyfriend. You are very young and have an entire life ahead of you. Don't go in with the intention of cheating. This is or will be your husband, not some boyfriend you can dump when Chris come back. Be honest with you first, then tell him you are not ready to get married, let's continue dating....or you want to see other people. How can you love your fiance' and still screw Chris??!?! Be honest!!

You really need to end this engagement. Pre-marital counseling (which you don't seem to be attending) should have advised you to end this. Marriage is something serious and you clearly are not ready for it especially if you have strong feelings for Chris. It's not fair to your fiance/soon to be ex-husband b/c even if you go through with it you'll be back on this board talking about how it was a mistake for you to get married, or you won't forgive him for what you already have done to him, or he won't forgive you. If you really love your fiance end the relationship and come back when Chris is out of your system.

You can't love two people at once. I would recommend breaking off your future wedding untill you have this figured out. If you really loved your fiance you would be fully commited to him and what you are doing is likely breaking his heart and it is certainly disrspecting him. To really love someone you can't always think about yourself. You need to think about the other person to. It sounds like Chris is kind of a flake as well. I think you should break off your wedding plans and end both relationships and start over fresh and do some soul searching and find out more about yourself and what you really want in life and in a relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too, which it sounds like you are doing. It seems like neither of the men you have choosen are satisfying you fully and your fiance at least deserves somone who loves and respects him.

You do not love your fiance, if you did you wouldn't have slept with Chris. Do him a favor and leave him along. You're too immature to marry. Every time you have a 'hard time', you're going to sleep with Chris or someone else. If you can't see that Chris is using you as a sex buddy, you are confused. Your finance deserve better, leave him along.

How old are you now that you cannot distinguish between love respect and commitment that you finance provides you versus abuse, disrespect and lack of commitment your so called boyfriend provides you. Is it that difficult for you to see that Chris has had nothing to offer you other than screwing with your life and still is.... You are a serious case of an abusive relationship and you only feel loved when you are abusive and you will walk away from any man who offer you good life.

If you are still in love with your ex you don't need to get married. That's not fair to your fiance to have to share your love and heart with another man. If you can't love your fiance 120% and give your heart to him and only him with out the doubt of love for another man don't get married because there could be potential infidelity on your part

You shouldn't get married to your fiance... Your only marrying him because the other guy is afraid of committment.

If you do get married you will end up cheating with Chris...

It's not fair to your fiance... do the right thing and don't get married.