Is TIGER WOODS the Messiah??! :) taken from: http://home.att.net/~fiddlerzvi/prophecies.html?

Tiger Woods is the Messiah

Many followers of other, sometimes more popular, religions have turned to the prophecies of the Bible to try to prove that their Messiah is indeed the fulfillment of the scriptures. While we at the First Church of Tiger Woods are somewhat skeptical of this device because so much is left to one’s own interpretation, we feel that we can play this game as well as any other faith. Below are just some of the biblical prophecies that seem to indicate to us that they were actually intended to refer to Tiger Woods.

Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Obviously this passage refers to Tiger’s wildness off the tee as a youth.

Isaiah 11:8 “And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp.”

A snake hole and a golf hole are about the same size, aren’t they? Plus, we are quite certain that there were snakes somewhere on the first course Tiger played.

Jeremiah 28:13 “Thus saith the LORD; Thou hast broken the yokes of wood; but thou shalt make for them yokes of iron.”

It is apparently not just coincidence that Tiger came around right as golf switched from wooden woods to metal woods.

Psalm 89:32 “Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.”

Tiger, with his stripes, punishes his opponents with his clubs.

Psalm 31:4 "Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge."

Tiger is an excellent bunker player.

Revelations 12:5 “And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron.”

Here the scriptures predict how Tiger, at a young age, will dominate the world with his irons.

Isaiah 10:15 “as if the rod should shake itself against them that lift it up, or as if the staff should lift up itself, as if it were no wood.”

Isaiah is obviously writing of the ease with which Tiger swings the club, almost like it swings itself.

Isaiah 11:5 “But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.”

Here he refers to Tiger taking divots and predicts Tiger will fight evil with words from his rather large lips.

Zachariah 8:4 “Thus saith the Lord of hosts: There shall yet old and old women dwell in the streets, and every man with his staff in his hand through multitude of days. And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls, playing in the streets therof.”

This scripture foretells the increase in popularity of golf due to Tiger’s emergence, especially among inner city youths.

Isaiah 42:16 “I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them and crooked things straight.”

Ezekiel 12:12 "The prince among them will put his things on his shoulder at dusk and leave, and a hole will be dug in the wall for him to go through. He will cover his face so that he cannot see the land."

Zachariah 14:6 “There shall be one day, which is known to the Lord, not day nor night; and in the time of the evening there shall be light.”

These passages are obvious references to Tiger’s final hole at the 2000 NEC Invitational where he hit his second shot to within two feet in complete darkness and the gallery spontaneously lit his way with cigarette lighters.

Isaiah 63:2 “Wherefore art thou red in thine apparel, and thy garments like him that treadeth in the winefat?”

Nahun 2:3 “The shield of his mighty men is made red, the valiant men are in scarlet.”

Jeremiah 4:30 “thou clothest thyself with scarlet”

Daniel 5:7 “shall be clothed with scarlet, and have a chain of gold about his neck, and shall be the third ruler in the kingdom.”

Now we understand why Tiger wears Red on Sundays (and yes, he used to wear a gold chain and, behind Bobby Jones and Jack Nicklaus, could be considered the third ruler of the golf kingdom).

Isaiah 41:2-5 “He shall rule over kings. He shall give them as the dust to his sword, as stubble driven by the wind, to his bow. He shall pursue them, he shall pass in peace, no path shall appear after his feet.”

Tiger has already largely fulfilled this prophecy (just ask the “King” Arnold Palmer), and may complete it when he switches from metal spikes to spikeless golf shoes.

Isaiah 41:11 “Behold all that fight against thee shall be confounded and ashamed, they shall be as nothing, and the men shall perish that strive against him.”

Isaiah 43:20 “The beast of the field shall glorify me;”

Isaiah 52:13-14 “he shall be exalted, and extolled, and shall be exceedingly high. As many have been astonished at thee,”

Jeremiah 46:15 “Why are thy valiant men come to nothing? They stood not, because the Lord hath overthrown them.”

Isaiah and Jeremiah apparently understood how demoralizing Tiger’s domination would be to his opponents.

Jeremiah 10:6 “There is none like to thee, O Lord: thou art great, and great is thy name in might.”

We already know how GREAT Tiger is, but did you know that his name spelled backwards in Latin (Regit) means “he reigns.”

Isaiah 11:6 “the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.”

Isaiah 53:5 “with his stripes we are healed.”

Luke 12:48 “But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.”

These passages can easily be interpreted to show the significance and power of the “Tiger,” and to illustrate the unprecedented pressure and burden of expectations that he has faced and conquered.

Levititcus 13:41 “And he that hath his hair fallen off from the part of his head toward his face, he is forehead bald: yet is he clean.”

Here the Bible absolves Tiger of one of his few faults, his receding hairline.

Psalm 69:4 “They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away.”

Lots of people do hate Tiger for no good reason, but judging from that hairline, those numbers are decreasing every day.

Song of Solomon 4:2 “Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof everyone bears twins, and none is barren among them.”

Genesis 49:12 “His eyes shall be red with wine (fire in the eyes?), and teeth white with milk.”

Isaiah 41:15 “I have made thee as a new threshing vain, with teeth like a saw.”

Now we know why Tiger’s teeth are so big, white, and bright.

Haggai 2: “The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.”

Isaiah 60:9 “bring thy sons from far, their silver and gold with them, unto the name the Lord our God.”

Here the Bible defends Tiger for accepting all of that endorsement money.

Isaiah 7:15 “Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good.”

Tiger’s love of fast food is now explained.

Jeremiah 23:19-20 “Behold the whirlwind of the Lord’s indignation shall come forth, and a tempest shall break out and come upon the head of the wicked (slice?).”

Ezeckiel 13:13 “Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; I will even rend it with a stormy wind in my fury; and there shall be an overflowing shower in mine anger,”

For those who are bothered by Tiger’s temper, the Bible offers an explaination.

Ezechiel 31:2-9 “Son of man, speak to Pharaoh king of Egypt, and to his people: To whom art thou like in greatness?”

Ezechiel’s detailed/longwinded answer is that the Son of man is as great as robust forest, or “Woods.”

Isaiah 41:18 “I will open rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the valleys: I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.”

Apparently Isaiah believes that many fertile golf courses will be built because of Tiger, or perhaps that He will become a course designer himself.

Ecclesiastes 1:6 “The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to HIS circuits.”

Ezekiel 12:14 “And I will scatter toward every wind all that are about him to help him, and all his bands;”

Jeremiah 30:23 "See, the storm of the LORD will burst out in wrath, a driving wind swirling down on the heads of the wicked"

Mark 4:39,41 “And he arose, and rebuked the wind, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” “And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”

Tiger is a master at sensing and calculating the forces of nature, especially the wind, which seems to die down quite often when he is playing.