Is it time to move on? (Long-term relationships)?

Ask yourself one question and the answer will show you what to do: Are you happy with him? A relationship is a healthy one if both partners are happy with each other. You said you love him, but you also said that he bores you. However, you never mentioned if you're happy or not. If you're happy then keep the relationship. It may be challenging, but facing challenges in a relationship is inevitable and by overcoming them you will be closer to your boyfriend. However, if you're not happy then you should move on as the goal of a relationship is to seek happiness.

Best of luck on whatever you're going to do.

I have to say, the age difference problem is a very childish reason to break up for. Only a year's difference will make no difference and that is a fact. So you start your career off first, is that so much of a bad thing? The fact that you guys can't hang out due to his mom sucks and I know what you are going through. My parents don't want me dating so I usually have to make excuses. It's hard I will admit and it sucks butt. I would say not to make plans about your future. We are in the present for a reason! Plans for after college will just complicate your life more (especially when it doesn't go as planned!)

Do you talk through media a lot? I have this problem too because my boyfriend and I talk every night and I know what you mean by boring you. It's because you guys talk too much. Limiting is a good idea cause it gives you guys some space for your own little moments and alone time. However the fact that you are already doubting your current relationship isn't good. Talk to him and see what you can work out. If he cares about you as much as you care about him, he'll find a way to spend a day or two with you. Maybe once a week. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to see each other everyday or talk to each other everyday! I wish you luck! And I hope some of what I said helps you!

Letting go can be so painful and so hard to do. The painful part is what I'll address first. You want to be making decisions when you're in the least amount of pain. Decisions made while being tormented are often not the best. First, are you afraid of what would happen if you broke up? Are you afraid of how it would feel? If so, write down what you're thinking like this:

1. It will be unbearable to be apart from him.

2. It's wrong to hurt the person I love

3. It's selfish of me to break up with him

4. I can't be happy alone

etc.

Next, see if you can be your own therapist. Talk back to your negative thoughts as if you were talking to a good friend:

Response to #1. I can be happy alone, I have been many times in the past and I'll probably find another guy the minute I show up for college.

Response to #2. The longer I wait, the more I hurt him and myself. Breaking up with him means we're free to date. We will either love the next person more, in which case we weren't meant to be, or we'll realize we were meant to be and we had a good time before we got together and we learned a lot.

etc.

This may not be the nature of your question, however. for example, you may feel confident breaking up but are worried it might be the wrong decision? Or you might not have the communication skills to do the actual breaking up? A whole bunch of problems might exist, so my advice would be to get a book by David Burns called "Intimate Connections" and read that one. He's got the answers and his new book will be out soon. I got an advanced copy and it's amazing!!

Honestly, it seems as if the only reason you want to stay with him is because you've been with him for so long. You need to ask yourself, why are we still together? Is it because we are used to each other? If you started dating in high school, and you still arent in college, you will notice that as you enter college you will change a great deal and he will stay about the same. once he goes to college, he will change too. What happens then is either you will change to compliment one another and remain together, or you will both change so much that a huge gap will form and you will eventually dwindle and break up.

Staying together just because you know you feel comfortable and because it has worked out so far isn't a good reason. Once the conversations dissipate, and the feelings of boredom start to settle in, you need to reevaluate your relationship. What is holding you together. If you are bored now, think about the future. Would you be able to spend the rest of your life with someone you are already bored of after 3 yrs and still so young? Now is the time to make the decision when you are still young and have the ability to interact with other people and evaluate what you truly want. You don't know what you want until you are about 22 and have met a few different kinds of people. Maybe you guys can separate, lead your lives and then decide if you were right all along. Many couples have broken up for years and discovered that they were meant to be together after all. It is often healthy because you appreciate the person more after, as opposed to just grow sick of them and break up eventually and never get back.

My advice, make a list of pros and cons. If the good outweighs the bad, talk it through and just see what happens. If not, I think you should just move on and enjoy the life you have and focus on yourself and discovering what you truly want and need.

You can do what you want, but somebody told me once that you shouldn't date for at least a year, because its not fair to the other person you would be involved with since you are recovering from a long term relationship. A long term relationship takes time to get over. There is healing involved and a need to reflect on why the relationship didn't work out. Because after all, none of us want to end up having the same types of relationships over and over. Whatever you do decide to do, just remember, don't carry past relationship baggage around or expect somebody else to know what you've been thru...each new relationship is different. good luck.

You obviously really love this guy. You are both obviously trying to make it work. But you both mught wanna talk about the year away from each other. Maybe you should see other people. Although this would mean you are not with him, it will give you both a chance to test the strength of your relationship. Dating other people will either show you both that noone else really holds that kind attraction and love for you as each other, or that you two might not be meant to be together. You may find that while you have been caught up with a relationship with this guy that you have been missing out on an even greater love. Just test it out and talk with him about seeing other people and how it tests a relationship and see what he says. If he doesnt want that, then just try to take some time off during the year to spend with each other and keep the relationship alive.

I think the most important thing you can do right now is try and spend as much time with each other as possible. Unfortunetly, relationships have a bad habit of ending when one person is going to college and leaving the other behind. I think you should reassure your boyfriend that even though you are going through a new educational route in your life, you still will only have eyes for him and that you want nothing to change the way things are now. This will luckily strengthen your relationship, and make sure it lasts. If breaking up seems inevitable, well, maybe it is...but maybe it's not! Just try to toughen it out and see where it goes. Even if it doesn't work out, so what? You'll still be friends!

What I don't understand is how you can say you are "best friends" but obviously lack anything that would consist of a friendship. I really don't see why a one year age difference would affect anything, when I was in highschool for three years I dated a man five years older than me, and when I was 17 I dated a man 7 years older than me and age was never an issue in either relationship.You need to end this sooner rather than later, perhaps next summer the two of you could meet up again and re-evaluate what is between you. Maybe the two of you could remain friends, and actually act like friends (having common interests), and maybe there will be something more and you could try dating again. My best friend spent six years with her ex, knowing that there wasn't much left of the relationship after 4 years she stayed with him because she was simply use to the situation and was intimidated by the idea of being single again. Then she started going back to school a couple years ago and met a great guy, a guy she is now engaged to and is a much better fit than her ex. I think it would be best for him to experience his senior year as a single man and best for you to start college as a single woman.

Sometimes, even when people love and care about each other, relationships end. A couple might discover they have different values, like one wants children and the other doesn’t. Sometimes, couples are forced to live far apart and the relationship can’t survive the distance. Other times, two people have differences that make the relationship unhealthy for one or both. And sometimes, the fizz just fades.

It takes time to know if someone is right for you. If you’ve lost interest, chances are you need time alone and maybe time to date other people. So you have to work up the courage to talk to your partner about your feelings.

Sometimes, when couples can come to a decision together about a relationship, there’s a lot less anger than if one person just ends it. So, maybe instead of saying it’s over for good, you just “take a break.” That can give you the space you need to decide how you really feel.

It’s not always possible to come to an agreement. And that usually means angry, hurt feelings. But even these are better than staying in a relationship that’s no longer working.

Do you talk through media a lot? I have this problem too because my boyfriend and I talk every night and I know what you mean by boring you. It's because you guys talk too much. Limiting is a good idea cause it gives you guys some space for your own little moments and alone time. However the fact that you are already doubting your current relationship isn't good. Talk to him and see what you can work out. If he cares about you as much as you care about him, he'll find a way to spend a day or two with you. Maybe once a week. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to see each other everyday or talk to each other everyday! I wish you luck! And I hope some of what I said helps you!

Seems to me that if you are getting bored then you are setting the both of you up for failure. You are getting ready to experience a whole new world when you attend college. It is best now if you part as friends and go your separate ways. After all it sounds as if you both have some growing up to do. Sometimes we can be addicted to a person for fear of being alone. Relax and enjoy the college life. If you and your boyfriend are meant to become more then it will happen regardless. If it's something you don't feel worth working towards, then why waste your time? Move on and take things slowly. Meaning don't just jump into another relationship. The signs are there, you already know what needs to be done.