Should I break-up with my boyfriend of 3 years? A divorced dad of 2 , he seems to struggle through life.

Though he works full-time he does not manage nor save his money well. He pays his bills late and incurs needless penalties and late fees. You on the other hand know how to save money and will even take on other jobs so you can enjoy the finer things in life. What you don’t want to see is your hard earned money going down the drain. Where you would get into a smaller less expensive apartment he hasn’t done that. Where you would insist that the roommates pay their fair share it doesn’t seem to bother him.

When others are in need and he is choosing to put them ahead of himself you feel that he is catering to them and as a result he is being taken advantage of.

In my opinion though he may lack certain organizational skills he more than makes up for it in relational skills. Where you see him as a doormat I see him as a people person. And those kinds of people often make the best team players be it at work or in relationships.

With all due respect it sounds to me like you are doing the very thing you are concerned about- you are trying to run his life.

To answer your question it may be best for you to break up with your bf because you have cited enough reasons why you would likely be unhappy living with him. I don’t think that he is unable to make decisions or that he is just too nice a guy. It sounds to me like he is an easy going laid back sort of fellow who goes with the flow and is more than willing to lend a helping hand to those in need. His priorities may just not be yours.

The two children he has will also have a significant bearing on the health of your relationship with him. As they get older they will require more of his time and his money.

Addendum:

Since reading your additional details I'm convinced more than ever that it would be a mistake for you to marry this man. You have obviously "been there done that" in a manner of speaking. This guy does not have what you're looking for. With 2 kids in tow he comes as a package. That is an issue for you because whether you like it or not your plans will revolve around the kids. That's what happens in a blended family.

When sources of irritation can become expressions of endearment then there is hope and one sees the relationship differently and one can look past potential issues. That is not the case here. You need to end this relationship in as dignified way as you can and soon because if you don't it will come to an end soon after you get married anyway. I'm convinced of that. End the relationship, start over and stay away from guys who have young kids.

There are too many red flags here for this to work. Good luck.

Well your 40, and it seems like you have an excellent grasp of what is required in this life. I am 41 and feel the same way. (Career, decisions, bills, etc.)

So...You must also understand, that in a relationship what the other lacks we make up for. Our strengths make up for their weakness and vice versa.

I was married for 15 years and have been on my own for the past two. I've been out on a few dates, but decided to focus on myself for a while. One thing I have noticed is I am more lax with the people around me. My home used to be spotless, but now I find paperwork on the coffee table (I hate it, but I still do it). I guess what I'm trying to say is, since I've been on my own, I've kinda relaxed a little. (except for the bills) When I'm in a relationship, everything has to be perfect.

This could be where he's at right now, but I wouldn't know. This is just an opinion.

I'd say hang in there and give him the benifit of the doubt. A sophisticated and devoted guy is so hard to find.

Good Luck!

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You know that it will be twice as hard if you were to marry him. I am a step mother of 2 boys and I put all on hold to help raise them. The mother had her days in court for more & more child support and it did take a toll on us. Finally we got custody of the boys but the damage was done by the mothers up bringing in there younger years, and we got them in the teen years .You really need to think about the whole picture here. His bills/ car Ins.credit report is yours too.Any back child support, there goes your tax refund! We have been married 10 years now and the boys are over 18, we are still paying off medical bills etc

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Sounds like you're type A personality, and he's a type B. You should balance each other out very well. Stick with him and help him. You will bring out the best in both of your worlds.

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