I have a friend thats always depressed and can't live without a boyfriend etc..

The fuzzy feeling has been scientifically proven to be nothing more then a increase in hormones in the human body If love was magical how much a women/man weighs or how ugly he is wouldn't matter. The human male has 300X more hormones then the female dose which is why the male is considered a pervert or wants to *score* all the time Personally I lived without love for many reasons I will list below

1. Distraction I would of never went to college if I had went looking for a girl to settle down with.

2.Boredom I don't want to spend my entire life working 6 days out of a seven day week to support a baby/wife until Im good and ready.

3.Money I know money isn't the only thing in the world but I am rich and wouldn't be if i succumbed to love.

4.Friends When you get a girlfriend/boyfriend you lose time with a lot of your friends I got and entire business full of them that I own and I am proud of my accomplishments.Do not confuse what I say as and attack on your beliefs If it wasn't for the word love breeding would go down significantly and the government would lose money. Every baby born pays a tidy sum in his life time. So thank you for contributing. What you feel for your family and dog is a different story If you feel warm and fuzzy around a family member you better get yourself some help A bond is different then love Its human instinct to stay with those you have brought into this world and it instinct that makes every animal protect its young. You have a bond with your family. No other animal uses love as and excuse to have sex. The whole point of dating is to lead to mating seal the trust seal the family etc.

I doubt you will pick my answer as best because it is not what you want to hear but regardless People like me are fighting in the council of the government to get this information released publicly. But until then I am satisfied just typing Unfortunately I cant type it all. I just hope that you live a happy life no matter what you choose to believe or do.

Also Love is painful it will cause you a lot of grief before it gives you any happiness losing your girlfriend/boyfriend for instance can be and extremely painful hurt and can be avoided If you focus on your dreams and life. Don't think it takes a mind of a governmental agent to figure this out I sat down at the age of 12 and learned something about love didn't fit. People Just don't rely on intelligence as much as they used to they want everything to be happy and glammeress without accepting the downfall.

First of all, I wouldn't consider spending money on food a waste. If I were you, I would sit your friend down and point out a few things.

First of all, you have to be upfront with her and tell her that there is nothing wrong with her life. Sure, she made a few mistakes along the way, but she still has time to change and turn her life around. Second of all, she's old enough to take responsibility for her actions. If she got involved in drama, she should find a way to pull herself out of it. Some people just like drama, what can you do? Nothing.

Secondly, don't make it all sound negative. She's just going to pity herself more. Make it sound empowering. "Look at everything you've been through so far, you're a survivor!" or something like that. She doesn't need a man to help her out. "You've done so well on your own already, why add extra stress?" Sure her car got repoed, but this way she's helping the environment, she can get some more exercise, and she could even make looking for a job a commitment to reaching her goal of getting a new one.

Thirdly, you don't have to be so available for her. Take care of yourself first and foremost and when you feel like it or when she really, really needs you (close death in the family, eviction, etc) then you can be there for her. Otherwise, just lean back and let her take care of herself. People like that don't learn until they have been faced with huge crisis and have to start from the bottom.

Give it a shot. If none of this works then I'd say you've really got nothing to feel bad or guilty or regretful about in saying goodbye to the friendship.

First, she's most likely never been taught the real value of money or how to budget and such, if she was raised rich. It's sadly true that most rich people don't teach there children how the rest of the world works so when they find themselves in the average Joe's shoes it's a huge change that they are unprepared for. I know this from experience, not from a guess, when I left home I was lost, I had no clue...period. Thank god for my wonderful husband who taught me quickly. But i still have trouble at times understanding money and the way everything works.

The whole not being able to live without a boyfriend, it mostly speaks of her feeling needy and useless if she isn't tied to some one. This is my guess.

But now to your problem...You've been supportive of her, you've been a good friend but three years is pushing it. You have every right to be tiered of dealing with it. No matter how much you love your friend you can't allow her to stress you out anymore, because I'm betting every time she comes to you with some kind of new drama or mess she's gotten herself into you go into the worry faze and try to figure out how to make things better. Or at least thats my guess, because well...you after all are asking us for help with what to say...it shows your a caring person who worries about people that you care for.

I'd simply sit her down calmly and try and very nicely explain to her what her drama does to you. If she gets upset by this or even mad then I'm not sure if she's the kind of friend you want or deserve. A true friend would hate having a negative effect on your life and would try to be better about not letting their own life and self importance overrun everything to the point they are effecting those that care for them in negative ways.

Hope my opinions help some.

First of all, you have to be upfront with her and tell her that there is nothing wrong with her life. Sure, she made a few mistakes along the way, but she still has time to change and turn her life around. Second of all, she's old enough to take responsibility for her actions. If she got involved in drama, she should find a way to pull herself out of it. Some people just like drama, what can you do? Nothing.

Secondly, don't make it all sound negative. She's just going to pity herself more. Make it sound empowering. "Look at everything you've been through so far, you're a survivor!" or something like that. She doesn't need a man to help her out. "You've done so well on your own already, why add extra stress?" Sure her car got repoed, but this way she's helping the environment, she can get some more exercise, and she could even make looking for a job a commitment to reaching her goal of getting a new one.

Thirdly, you don't have to be so available for her. Take care of yourself first and foremost and when you feel like it or when she really, really needs you (close death in the family, eviction, etc) then you can be there for her. Otherwise, just lean back and let her take care of herself. People like that don't learn until they have been faced with huge crisis and have to start from the bottom.

-There is a lot of things going on with this person... The monetary issue and the drama seeking issue is a whole problem entirely. Obviously money/financial problems will lead many sane people to act ridiculously! There isn't much you can do about that aside from giving her money whenever she asks for it. (Which is NOT a good idea!) She may just be accustomed to living well and she just can't anymore, and there isn't anything you can do about that.

-As for the drama seeking personality. That seemingly goes hand in hand with the attention seeking problem she has with significant others. This MAY be linked to the lack of money. Because she was used to having attention and money OR it could be something more complicated from her childhood and it is JUST her personality. On either count... not much to do or say.

** Sit her down, and make sure you're firm and HONEST! Literally tell her what no one else will. She's throwing herself on people and putting herself in harmful situations! She needs to work out her own emotional problems and STOP hanging all over every guy that's nice to her. BECAUSE it's pathetic. Go by the motto " No one will love you if you don't love yourself first!" Cliche but true. Being easy (meaning not hard to get) and falling all over someone is NOT attractive and does nothing for her. I'm sure she's a beautiful girl with a lot going for her if she would get her stuff together and be a little more independent. Guys think it's sexy when a girl is pulled together and can take care of herself!! Remind her of that! You're her friend, you owe her that! BUT if she is still a freak after a LONG sit down and some brutal honesty. Hit the road because she will do nothing but drag you down. Not to mention in and out of drama!!!

GOOD LUCK

friends will affect our lives positively or negatively. Don't let the negativity get to you. Sometimes however, you have to be stern-be a friend. Tell her that 3 years is more than enough time to get back up. A good friend doesnt just support, but also tells the truth, knock some sense into her, show her that being negative all the time isn't a good thing and that it affects you as well. If she realizes that...she just might snap out of it. She isn't the only person with a lot of problems in the world. She just needs to learn how to realistically deal with them. Using the unemployment money to go out instead of paying bills is very immature. The 'boyfriend' factor sounds like there is a weak foundation within her family and was blanketed when they still had money. Be a friend. Tell her that having a boyfriend is a hindrance to getting back up. A good dose of tough-love might wake her up.

I dont think "ditching" her now is a good idea - she might end up doing something you might regret.

Id sit her down over tea/coffee (privatly - in your house) and explain to her:

That she is being very negative lately and that you miss the girl that was once a your best friend.

Tell her that you are there for her but pretend (if you have to) that you would like if she was there for you too.

Tell her that having a boyfriend isnt the most important thing in her life right now - its finding a job and sorting her life out.

Pursuade her that she'll meet more people at a new job and maybe you could help her with her CV or something (you never know, you might actually NEED her down the road).

Friendships are hard! But bailing on someone in a crisis isnt the best thing to do unless she is constantly hurting you - which it doesnt appear to be this time.

She obviously cant afford to talk to someone professionally so tell her that she can depend on you - if you are willing to do so for her.

Spend more time with her watching movies, shopping, going to the spa (or the FREE park in this case) lol.

Good luck!

You really know the "ins" and "outs" of your friend's life. And you are also tired of the many problems that your friend is carrying because obviously the two of you are opposite in character. Quite normal to happen.

A friend is a friend is a friend, right? If she would take that "negativity" in her person, then you would not be too affected by her problems. She can't be transformed overnight to your own liking. The best way for you is to provide some distance, so that you can "breathe" a bit. Just tell her that you won't be available during some periods. Devise some strong excuses so that she won't feel you are going away from her. You need to recharge. You are already slipping down with her. Don't be carried away by her problems.

She's a lost cause. If she doesn't see what a screw up she is, then there is nothing anyone cando for her. Most people try as friends to fix whatever problems their friends have; but why? its so easy to care a lot about your friends because you honestly think your way is better... but not so much all the time. As for needing a boyfriend, that's the worst way to find a boyfriend... people who do that are never happy in relationships because they are not happy with themselves... theres a reason she needs a bf, she doesn't like who she is, she wants to focus on someone else so she doesn't have to focus on herself... you have been there for 3 years... that's more than most people are alotted. Give up on this girl already, why are you letting her bring you down? Do you feel sorry for her or something? Be nice, but firm. Just take your distance, be her friend but don't support her... once you take away friend resources, you take away the crutch for a person to lean on. She will get the hint once people stop giving her hand outs.

uts" of your friend's life. And you are also tired of the many problems that your friend is carrying because obviously the two of you are opposite in character. Quite normal to happen.

A friend is a friend is a friend, right? If she would take that "negativity" in her person, then you would not be too affected by her problems. She can't be transformed overnight to your own liking. The best way for you is to provide some distance, so that you can "breathe" a bit. Just tell her that you won't be available during some periods. Devise some strong excuses so that she won't feel you are going away from her. You need to recharge. You are already slipping down with her. Don't be carried away by her problems.

That's very sad and unfortunate. The first thing you need to recognize is that you aren't going to change her and there is nothing you can do to solve her problems. I think honesty is the best answer here. Talk to her about how she's changed. Be sympathetic to her problems but just tell her as gently as you can you don't enjoy being around her. Maybe start by weening yourself from the relationship and be available a little less at a time. If you see her 5 days a week start cutting back to 4. Maybe every third time she calls you be busy. Cut that back to every other time and then maybe be unavailable to her for a week. If she asks what's going on that maybe the time to tell her. The first step to her helping herself is for her to identify her problems and how they are affecting others. She may not change or she may get worse. That's the risk you take but if she's going to be like this then she's not the friend she was and its time to move on and find someone else.