Could I be considered the next Mary Poppins?

Question

As you know I am a nanny for a spoiled rich brat. Aside from the unlimited car washes and free poptarts, the job aint easy.  Anyways, I taught him some pretty valuable lessons such as:

1. Suck it up.  Like when he got scratched across the cheek by that feral cat.  I told him to shut his face and walk it off.

2. Put the toilet seat up to pee, then down when done.  His future wife will love me for that.

3. Good taste in music.  He is only three and likes GREAT music.  Still though, I could never get him to like Journey.

4. Onions are evil!!!!!

5. Eating oreos for lunch is absolutely fine.....so long as we dont tell mommy.

6.  Batman can beat up Spiderman.  Always.

and the most important of all - Don't interrupt Tiffany when she is having a little rest (ie sacked out on the couch because I stayed up all night drinking).


If you pay me enough, you could steal me from his family so I could teach your kids smart stuff.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

what the deuce are you teaching this kid?!?!?!? Spider-man can destroy batman! 

i dont like you anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

At the fall of the USSR in 1989, when Bush, Sr. was president, military leaders, predicted the next war. Anthony Zinni was one of them. Zinni commanded Centcom, the area that Iraq falls under, was Commandant of the Marine Corps, and appointed special envoy to the Middle East by Bush, Jr. He predicted that future wars, with the absence of opposing superpowers, would be against groups without national support such as al-Qaeda. Our politicians didn't listen and we find ourselves in a Quagmire (Bush fired Zinni because he advised against invading Iraq.) Currently, the next superpower would appear to be China. We don't know if the US will survive globalization and the selling out of the country to China and others long enough to be a part of the next major war. I will predict that China will be a part of the next major war because they will have the military might to participate.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you're doing a brilliant job !! well done indeed.
 there is more to life than just abc's you know...

I did that job for a while too..I still think that was the best job I have ever had..
 Children make you happy don't they? They end up teaching me things..(the secret ingredient to the crabby patty)

Anonymous · Answer

I love you so much...except for the onion thing, it's so not true. Will you come live with me? I have Breyers Snicker Ice Cream and also make kick *** margaritas! Ok...so they come from a bottle and all I do is pour and blend but hey...I'd do anything for you. Truly!

Anonymous · Answer

7.  Don't tell Mom about watching Spongebob DVDs on repeat for four hours while Whit is "wrestling" with Uncle Jason in the guest bedroom.

Anonymous · Answer

Did you teach him the importance of hydrating with Vitamin Water and moisturizing your lips with Carmex and never Chapstick?

If so, then YES!

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder if his list of stuff he's taught you is longer ;)

But YES you should be the next Mary Poppins. I see a new movie in the making!!!!

Anonymous · Answer

Yes but you failed to mention the most important part about the cherry cordial...we drink from the bottle.

it&#39;sssss kK! · Answer

I wish you were my teacher growing up.

I still would've argued the fact about Batman though...

*cries*

Anonymous · Answer

can you fly up into the sky at ridiculous heights with your umbrella?

EDIT: Isn't Charlotte the bestest best girl ever!??

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Could I be considered the next Mary Poppins?

13 Answers