A serious question personality or circumstance?

Question

Ive had a dream that comes to me about once a month...in it I put myself between a gunman and a store full of people...I save them but die in the process...but I feel good about my choice always...ive had this dream since I as 12 im almost 30 now...

Im a correctional officer...ive been put in the situation where ive helped someone who is trying to hang themselves...and been thanked after...

I was in a car accident I was the first to wake up...I saved one friend the other two died...massive internal bleeding..I was seriously hurt but considered a hero..(**** that I just woke up first)

I recently went out my front door to smoke a cigarette at 1 am...a drunk hit the lightpole in front of my house..I pulled him out but Im not sure if he survived or not...

Is this just a case of being in the right place at the right time or am I just thinking too much...all these things started 4 years after my first dream.....my phsyc says I have a guardian angel problem and that im reading too much into these situations....I believe that im normal and things just happen around me...he says these things happen all the time...

I do believe him but I feel like they happen way too often to me...am I wrong...I dont think ive got special powers and I dont believe im invincible but he seems to thing I put myself in harms way thinking I will die to protect others...thats not the case as far as I see it...I break bones get scrapes and bruises..im not invincible...and dont see myself as a hero....lol...far from it...I dont have a death wish....I dont go looking for these situations but I have a fear that I may be put in that situation one day and Im scared of it.....

is this normal....and if not....what can I do to make these dreams,,,actually nightmares go away....I see the people ive helped and they all laugh at me while im trying to stop this gunman....he still kills me but as I die the victims tell me how much they appreciate it....

I dont know what to make of this and thats why ive gone into counseling....my  job is difficult enough without trying to see a problem around every corner...also its a danger to my coworkers if something happens and im too busy trying to save an inmate while a coworker gets her/his *** beat.....

Tra · Accepted Answer

In my opinion, there are a few things going on with you.

Dreams tell us a lot about ourselves. And sometime they can tell us a little of what is to come our way ( with a little input from us which confuses the message). And sometimes, the dream is so full of things we have seen on TV, movies, theater, heard on the radio and news. There is just too much influence from the outside, that it's hard to figure out the meaning of the dream let alone the message.

So, from what I can tell, you enjoy being the hero, but afraid of the outcome or consequences of being the hero. You like the rush or the adrenaline rush.( I work in the ER from time to time, and know where your coming from.)

Things happen all over all the time, every minute of the day. Life moves, crashes, holds, teaches, and removes us in every way it can. You just happen to see it more that others for whatever reason. 

One question is: Why and what does it matter? Why pick it all apart and make it out to be more than it really is? You can take any event in your life, on the news, and Analise it until it become something totally different than what it started out to be or maybe just no longer exist. When we do that, it changes the meaning, lesson, reason. 

Good luck. I hope you find peace within yourself.

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A serious question personality or circumstance?

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