relationshipp gone bad?...idk you answer.?

Question

alright this is very veryyy long..but back in november i was seeing this guy.his name is jay and he is in the army.well we met through my brother b/c they are both in the army.and so jay and started seeing eachother and jay would fly down to ohio every chance he got...to see me.what we started to have was good yea know?...little did i know...he has a long past.he was dateing this girl named jen.well they broke up a year before jay and i even started talking.well the last time i seen jay in the year of 2007.i had seen 3 pictures in his wallet.and i asked who the girl was.he said shes my ex.i started asking questions*what girl wouldnt?*...well he told me they dated for 2 years and went through highschool together and she was his 1st love.and they were angaged.but then they broke up b/c as soon as he(jay) left for the army way accros the country...jen(his ex) started dating jays best friend and had sex with most of his close friends.and he said that she just hurt him a lot.and that he was done with her.

but i didnt belive him.b/c why would he still have her pictures in his wallet?...well of course i tore them up.and that weekend when he flew out of ohio.i stoped talking to him.and i told him to leave me the **** alone till he gets over his nasty ex.

well weeks went by...i was tore up,and he called me saying hes going to iraq..and i really belived he was going over there.so he told me(samantha) and jen (his ex) and so many other people that he was going to iraq for a whole year.well the whole time he was over there...a year went by...i dated nobody.cuz i was waiting for jay to come home and just see me and hold me again...(i lost my v to him)..he was the only guy i ever gave anything and effort into....well a year went by...well almost a year...and then in may of this year 2008....he told me he wanted to see me and that we needed to talk...so i flew down to texas to see him....we talked.he told me he never went to iraq.and he just wanted his ex (jen) to leave him alone.and i said...ohh im sorry...yea know?...i belived him.so a couple months went by and we fell inlove..all over again.i gave up everything and moved down to texas to move in with him.he gave me a ring...we went mountain climing.he got me a puppy and treated me like gold..he even bought me a brand new car...ya know i was happy...what girl wouldnt?...well little did i know..i was myspacing last night and was reading jays comments....and like the whole time i thought he was in iraq.....he was talking to her!!!!YES JEN.. :(...it hurt so bad when i seen those comments...b/c jay told me he lied about leaveing to get away from her.but yet he was commenting her saying i love you?.....

i am so confused right now...
i know he is over her now...he has to be..after all he has done for me..
but i just feel replaced/// b/c im the one who came down to texas and im the one who did love him and wait for him to get home safe....not her.and i feel like he like replaced me...insted of jen being down here.he has me... :(....
i told him i was flying out in the morning...and i was leaveing...
i took the ring off my hand and smashed all the pictures in the house that we built together...that we cooked in together..in the house we shared everything together... :(....

when he got home from workk...
he started crying and saying that since I broke up with him...he didnt know what else to do.and he doed addmit to lieing to me..and he said he wad young and stupid.......

i just dont want to be and get hurt.
b/c right now i feel hurt.
bad.
but the last thing he said to jen..was i think its about time ive moved on.since u have...so will i...

i AM so CONFUSED!!

LADIES what would you do....

Anonymous · Answer

I mean this in the most sincere way, but I think that if you two are serious about getting back together that you should honestly see a group therapist. There's a lot of resentment and you two have quite a lot invested in each other. There's always a chance that it can work between you two, but you both need to relax and look at the whole situation. People that cheat sometimes may not know why they do it. Some may feel like they don't get enough respect or attention and some simply do it for the thrill. Since he bought you a car it seems like he was planning on staying with you, but something else is bothering him. I would calm down and relax and take a look at the situation and try to talk things out like adults. If you two are willing to try to settle things, again, I would suggest therapy or at least a mutual friend.

tennyo_akana · Answer

I would stay. If you truly love him and he truly loves you then you should try to work this out. If Jen was his first love there she'll always have a place in his heart. If you had a first love doesn't he also have a place in your heart. Those two has a bond, a bond that you shouldn't have any right to touch.

I think you should stay and work things out with him. Ask him what he wnats from the relationship with you and what he wants from the relationship with her. (Also, tel him I think he's stopping for posting comments on her Myspace)

Anonymous · Answer

Seeing the last thing he said to Jen, I think this does give you some hope, you obviously love him loads, speak to him and tell him you want the truth however bad it is, there is nothing worse than lying completely to the face.  Give him time to reply to you.  He is obvously trying to get over his ex, but she was his first love and it takes a long time to get over them.  But since she has moved, he has no choice to move on and it is likely that he loves you.  Just talk to him, communication is vital to relationships

Anonymous · Answer

I know that this is probably hard to hear, but if he would lie to you about something that serious I think you can do better.  Relationships are based on trust, and if he's always lying to you trust probably isn't something your relationship will have.  It'll take a while to get over him, but I think you made the right move in breaking it off.

Anonymous · Answer

i say stay busy with your friends and family for a while and don't call him and have any kind of contact with him . if he cares about u even a bit, hw will try to get back with you. THEN have a little talk with that ***** (his ex) and streighn her out. i swear i would kick her *** and me bf. but if i really love my bf then i would put some effort and have patient.

albrightlesa · Answer

i had a similar experience, it will never end. leave him alone and find someone new. it will hurt right now but it will be better in the long run.

Anonymous · Answer

Im not a lady, but dun give him a chance .... If you have any respect for yourself Hold on to it ...

Trending News

relationshipp gone bad?...idk you answer.?

7 Answers