my husband is cheating on me ?

Question

i have only been married for two years with one daughter. all along i have been receiving signals through dreams that my husband is cheating on me. even though i knew he was keeping late night i never took it to heart because i felt that for the relationship to be really serious he needed to sleep over.  the only noticeable changes were that he wasn't taking us out, wasn't making love to me  and preferred to sleep with the baby in between us. also his attitude towards me changed drastically, he became very hostile and rude at the slightest chance with abusive words. i thought it had to do with the frustrations of loosing his elections. just last week someone needed to talk to me using his mobile phone which has always been under security lock while i was taking my call a text message came in from a girl though plain but suspicious he dismissed it as just an innocent text from a friend. that aside but fate was not yet through with him because soon after settling down another one came this time filled with romantic words and reminders of financial obligations. since then i have not been myself. i spend the nights crying and to worsen the whole matter i am five months pregnant for our second child. as if  on rampage several other revelations are coming up. the latest being that one of the women is even preganant for him which maybe the reason for his rash behaviours.  the worse is that he does not even use protection and currently i am having some foul smelling discharge which the doctor confirmed in one of my antenatal visits to be infection. what bothers me most is that the man i married has taken a u turn to become the exact opposite of what he used to be. the pastor thinks its spiritual but i think its plain wickledness and a ploy to quit the marriage.  i need your candid advise before the situation gets out. of  hands. He appears a bit confused these days because i have refused to talk about it and he rarely goes out. imagine knowing that one of the women is one of the ones he actually dated before we got married and i'm wondering why he did not marry her if she was that good.

sadie_oyes · Accepted Answer

Reading thru your posts, I believe he was cheating nearly a year ago.
Hire an attorney, get your affairs in order and divorce him.

ladysteelersince1976 · Answer

I'm sorry, but how could things get any more out of hand? If your post is real and you aren't trolling it sounds to me that you have a louse for a husband and you would be doing yourself and your children a HUGE favor by kicking him to the curb. You deserve much more out of life and there are good men out there that won't treat you the way you have been treated by this so called man. You didn't fail in the marriage, he did. Don't look at it like you did something wrong. Place the blame on the deserving person. I would take him to court and make sure you get the child support before his mistress gets it. You will prevail and will be a stronger person for this. Just don't take any **** from anyone.

Sesoid · Answer

You will get very mixed answers here, but what you truly need to ask yourself is whether you can live with the knowledge that your husband, the man you love and the father of your kids has been unfaithful to you.  

My personal experience says that you never forget this kind of thing, and that it haunts you day in and day out and at the end, it breaks completely the relationship.  The lies, deceit and the hurt does not go away, and each time you are with that person these thoughts come into your head.  I could not take it anymore and ended up separating.

Ask yourself the question, and then you will have the answer.

Good luck!

lee · Answer

The reason y he married you is cause ur a better women and he know what he get with you whit her it is just lust. I think you need to sit down talk about this. a marriage is for better or worst some were down the line he stray they all do u need to take some time for you self stay away from him treat him like crap when things cools down if you really love him and want to work things out then do so everyone makes mistake and i am not justifying what he did if that was my husband i would put his *** in the hospital. but at the same time u have two kids and he is a good father and at one point a good husband if u do try to work things out u need to stand up and be a bi**h and when he ask you y r u like this tell i am who u mad me . Don't give him the option of who he wants to be with make it for him leave for a little and trust me if you don call him c him if he say he wanna c the kids leave the kids with your parents and go some where and tell i don't wanna be in the same plac as u so let me know and i will leave the kids with mom he will come back more sorry that ever with that time think about what u want and whats best for the kids, I cant say i know how u feel because i don't but i had my problems witch was worst than your but i am a stronger person now and i did ever thing i just told you now he try to make it up everyday. i am here for you if you wanna talk take care hope ever thing works out for you

Anonymous · Answer

End it for the sake of your daughter and your own ultimate happiness. NO MAN is worth it.

It's hard to do ,but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. You are right it is plain wickedness and he's a dirty stinking cheat.

Once a cheat , always a cheat. Just because you are married doesn't mean you can't walk away just as easy as you can from any other relationship.

KICK HIM OUT. Tell him go stay with his sl*t. See if she'll put up with his sh*t the homewrecking trollope. He'll cheat on her in the end 100%.

Anonymous · Answer

tell your pastor your husband cheated on you and got another woman pregnant and spread a disease to you from his illicit affairs and this is not spiritual but a man falling from grace and then tell the pastor good riddance for no true help at all get with it

sit your husband down and ask him why he didn't just marry the other girl
why create this mess and marry you and then not only get her pregnant but spread her disease to you what the hell was he thinking
obviously not about the two little lives he has brought 
is bringing
into this world now
tell him make up his mind
you or her and live with it
doing the right thing or destroying a lot of people for his selfless, reckless ways
remind him one day itll come back to him

if he goes he goes
he would have at some point anyways
why stay with someone who cant keep it in his pants and one day bring you home hiv
get all child and spousal support and tell courts of his infidelity

leave kids with him on weekends so you can manhunt for good man when youre ready

if you really want to keep him
then see if he come clean and mend his ways
i doubt it and if he did i doubt hed remain good for long
otherwise can you accept he has two women
you his wife
and her his mistress
tell him at least treat you both nice
you know muslim women have to put up sometimes with three other wives but they do it
at least here you are the main one and he beds there

tell him no more of this baby sleep between the two
you put it in a crib and want some action
but make him wear a condom because his hussy mistress got some disease and you don't want to catch anymore from her

if you have to 
you publicly confront hussy mistress
and tell her
you are his legal wife with two children
so stop pressuring your husband to not have sexual relations with you
(I doubt your husbands idea to put baby in middle
seems like jealous mistress wanting him all to her grubby self)
teach her (try to get friend to film it and air it on youtube)
get him to get vasectomy if you can
tell him he can't keep overpopulating the world with other bastard kid(s)

Indypendence · Answer

You really just needed to vent didn't you?

Sometimes crap in life is just to embarrassing to sit down and cry and tell your friends and family or maybe you just don't have anyone.

This is a lot of ridiculous mess to be dealing with, especially pregnant; because from my experience you run on hormones and discomfort.  

Anyway, I suggest you find out whats wrong with the foul odor; get re-tested for HIV.  Then decide if this man and marriage is still what you really want?  Tell 'ole boy, he got some 'splainin to do.  

Key things I picked up on in your post.

"One of the women" and "not using protection"
This man is trying to kill you girl.......I'd run.

hope · Answer

Too late it is out of hand,  you need to talk to him about this and find out what is really going on. If he has cheated on you then you should pack his bags and tell him to move while you get your head together. You don't need him there is he isn't treating you right and is cursing at you and making you feel this way.....

Think of your child and your unborn child,  ask for support from your family.. Good luck in what ever you deside

thecubeisfun · Answer

you are burying your head in the sand hoping it will all go away. Its time to have it out with him and tell him everything you know, including your suspicions. If you dont then you will all be miserable for a very long time and it will get worse. this is not the right atmosphere to be bring up children and for their sake you both need to talk and work out where it all went wrong.

Momma #3 · Answer

" I need your candid advise before the situation gets out. of hands"

Sorry to tell you but it has gotten out of hand.  How could you tolerate for him to mistreat you this way?  I say take your daughter and get out now so you can start to heal and make a new life for your children.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

pickle · Answer

you got to think,do you want your children treating their partners the same,they will grow up seeing your husband treating you bad and they will think thats normal and ok to do that.You dont need a person treating you like this,why waste your life being with a man who does this to you when you could be with someone who really loves you and your children.Hes out there having a good time and your indoors with your child and crying!he has had his cake and eaten some now dont let him finish it of.

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my husband is cheating on me ?

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