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Can you suggest some funny condolences?
For if someone died.
for example:
My deepest sympathies for the untimely loss of your friend. I know how much it pained you to have a closed casket, for this could have been one last time to see her and say good bye. Unfortunately, your friend was ******* ugly. So it was probably for the best.
Sorry for your loss. You looked really good before the miscarriage.
sorry for your loss, look on the bright side, at least it wasnt me
Being viscious and cruel is the only way to make a condolence funny.
And whats wrong with looking on the funny side of death,I dont wan't everyone all depressed when I die.
7 Answers
- JediMooCowLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
Warning: The following replies may offend those who do not see a funny side to death and/or breakups. If this is you, please do not read on.
He'd dead? But.. that's terrible. He owed me money!
Your girlfriend broke up with you? You mean I won't have to throw up in my mouth everytime I see you kiss?
I'm sorry to hear that she died. It must be hard. But hey, you do get her stuff, right?
Oh my god! He broke up with you? I'm so sorry. Then again, if you wern't such a crap person, this may not have happened!
"It must have been hard for you to be the coffin-bearer at you Aunt's funeral."
"It was... I wanted to cry..."
"Frankly, I'm surprised you could lift the fat *****."
"I'm sorry to see that your mum's passed away."
"What? My Mum ain't dead!"
"Oh, sorry. It's hard to tell the difference when she smells so bad."
And there are a couple more that I can think of that I won't post on Answers!, out of respect for easily-offended viewers.
- Anonymous5 years ago
Kodomo No Omocha a.k.a. Kodocha Alice Academy a.k.a. Gakuen Alice Yume-iro Pâtissière Yume-iro Pâtissière SP Professionala Kiss Itazura Na Kiss Black Prince and Wolf Girl Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama School Rumble Kamisama Hajimemashita
- 1 decade ago
Agent 47, I understand you don't want everyone to be depressed when you die....
well that's good because I'll be laughing, ha!
Source(s): I did it on you! but if it happened in real life it may not be so funny... - 1 decade ago
Sorry that your question isn't being answered much (sucks when that happens), but I don't know any good ones :)
- zenockLv 41 decade ago
These aren't funny. They are vicious and cruel.
My response:
It is tactless and crass to try to be funny about someones loss. But the examples you gave go beyond that to vicious and cruel.
For example:
Someone dies in an explosion...
Well he always wanted to go out with bang.
Someone jumps from a building to his death...
The police said he made a big impression on the city.
Someone has a miscarriage...
Kids these days never can seem to wait for anything.
etc...
I would never use these either, because they are tactless, crass, and not really funny given the situation. However I'm not a very funny guy. It's possible someone who is truly funny could come up with something that was funny without being tactless or crass. My brother probably could. Point here is, the stuff you suggested isn't funny, it's vicious, it's cruel, and it only serves to further hurt a person who is already hurting. I don't see how anyone could be so full of hate that they would want to do that to someone.
Final Update....
Well 11 people so far have given me a thumbs down and no one agrees. Maybe my moral compass is just way off. I don't know.
