How do I break off a relationship that has lasted four years? I am engaged & have been unhappy. But i love him?

I agree with the first answer as well. You love him, but your growing up, and the more we grow we realise who we are and who we want to be. Then we realise that the people that we love should be growing with us and complimenting our 'growth' not the opposite.

I learned the hard way through a 4 year relationship as well. I was in almost the exact same situation as yourself. And i wasnt good at articulating myself and how i felt which gave him an advantage.

Youre going to have to let him go. its going to happen one way or another. Unfortunately love doesnt fix all. Express your feeling in a letter so you can get everything you want to get out. Then a day or so after talk to him, but remain firm in your decision. Explain you love him but feel that the relationship is not helping your personal growth and the love isnt cultivating as it should. it will hurt, its supposed to. But it will be worth it years down the line when you find the man that compliments your personality, grows with you, will travel the world with u & even after a few years, still cant wait to be with u everyday like the 1st day.

I wish you all the best.

With the situation you just described, I am pretty sure it's time to cut your ties with this person. Two people can love each other, but not be right for each other. I was in a situation very similar to yours. I had to come to the realization that although I cared and loved him, he was NOT the one I wanted to spend my life with. I think your not ready to settle down which is just fine. You have that right. Go have fun, date, and see the world before you do settle down. You will find the person you are meant to be with. But in all honesty I don't think it's with the man your engaged to now. I hope this helps. good luck to you.

I would suggest you ask yourself the question: Do I want to live like this for the rest of my life? If the answer you need to follow your heart instead of wasting anymore of your time being unhappy. Good luck.

If you are truly unhappy then you need to move on, just get it out as clearly as you possibly can, its better to do it sooner than later

i have come to the conclusion that men who 'want' their wives, gf's on a daily basis, have a greater chance of the relationship lasting.

it's not about sexual pleasure, but it is about intimacy and closeness and humans need human touch. and for guys to push you away from intimacy with distractions such as work, pets, friends, projects...he's got to know he will lose her. most marriages/relationships work best and longest when the man cant wait to hold his wife in his arms. that's my theory and im sticking to it.