Please help me by telling me how this sounds?

Okay, I wrote this story in 7th grade, here is the beginning-

All was quiet on Watchers Lane one sweltering summer day. Every house was closed up tight with the Air Conditioners running on high. The yards were slowly browning except for where a few sprinklers were reluctantly spurting a trickle of water on the grass. People occasionally went out to check the mail or walk their dog, but they usually returned home promptly afterwards.

Then, a squeaky door broke the silence and a small teenage girl tip-toed out of the house. She was thin, with long dark brown hair that went almost to her hips. Her eyes were a soft light brown and her lips were pursed together in deep concentration. Once she had the door shut she sped off down the street toward a large grassy field. When she got there, she collapsed into the long wavy grass.

This girl’s name was Samantha Fentsworth. She was fourteen years old and quite small for her age. She lived with her wicked grandparents and her thirteen-year old aunt, Eliza, who was just as wicked. When Samantha was eight, her parents had left her in her grandparents care when they were going on a two-week trip to Australia, only they never came back. Samantha had tried phoning them and writing them but she never got anything back. Finally, a year later, she had gotten a phone call from local police in Australia saying that both of her parents had died from been bitten by some poisonous ant when they were in the forest. Samantha had cried her eyes out for weeks and all her grandparents did to comfort her was say that she should known that that was had happened. Samantha knew that they were probably right, but she still couldn’t help resenting them for it.

Samantha closed her eyes and relaxed in the warm grass. Finally, she had gotten away from her grandparents. It was a Sunday and Sundays were Chore days, only Samantha had to do most of the chores. Every Sunday morning she had a vey long list pinned to her door of the chores that she had to do. It had things from doing Doggy Duty to ironing all of her grandparents’ shirts and coats. Eliza had one too, however, it was much shorter and mostly consisted of things such as check if she had a full supply of cosmetics and other toiletries, maybe once or twice a rake the lawn or fold laundry. Samantha still had a few more things on her list but she didn’t really care and could do those later. She would be punished for doing that but she didn’t care about that either. Being locked in her room for a week or two for her was paradise. She could do whatever she pleased, like sleep in until noon, and then have breakfast served to her through the dog door in her wall and then dump the uneaten food onto the carpet on the other side.

After a few minutes, Samantha opened her eyes and stood up to walk further into the field. Ahead of her lay the thick jungle of brush where Samantha had often gone to hide from Eliza. Eliza, a beauty queen, wouldn’t dare go into anything that may rip her clothes or scratch her legs. This usually resulted in a steam of insults and Eliza storming off, cursing under her breath. Making her way through the brush, Samantha found her large sycamore tree that she and her father had planted when she was three. She climbed up to the top and swung through the branches. It was cool in the leaves shade. Samantha took a long drink from her water bottle and opened up her bag where she found two turkey sandwiches and three bags of Cheetos. She would be staying there for the rest of the day and maybe go home around nine o’clock. Munching happily on a sandwich, Samantha looked out into the distance. She wondered what lay beyond the brush. To her, it looked like a halfway dried up jungle. She had never gone into it before. To be honest, she thought, it scares me. Samantha shrugged and laughed at her babyish worry then continued eating her sandwich, soon drifting into a doze.

How does it sound?