How does one go on after suddenly losing a much loved partner to death? ?

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 30 years when he died of lung cancer 3 years ago. Take care of your self and be gentle with your feelings. Remember to eat and drink lots of water. Feel what you feel and when necessary give in to it and let it out of you. You will not make it better by trying to hide or deny the pain.

For a time it might be better to not think of the past and to fill your days. Keeping busy does help. It does not take the pain away, nothing but time will do that, but it does keep you occupied and can help keep the worst at bay for longer and longer periods of time. Try to realize that the old life and the old future you expected in that life are all gone now but that just gives you an opportunity to make a new life that is not tied to any of the past from the old relationship.

It is hard and will take time The first year you are in shock. The second year is often worse because the reality sets in for real and you realize this is not temporary and no bargining or wishing or crying will return it to you. You go through the pain but you hold to the hope of a new life. You be determined to get through it and you will get through it. Do not be hard on yourself. This is the worst pain there is so it will take time to heal. No one can tell you how long you should grieve or how soon you should "be over it" Truth is that you will never be "over it" but you can get to a point where you can get around it. The pain will get less as time goes on and the more you engage in wanting a new life the more you will move beyond the old one

Do not rush into anything. Take the time to find out who you are now and not just try to go on with the old you, that too is gone. So take this time to become the you you always wanted to be. You will feel the pain but you must go through it to get better and move on. Trying to hide from the pain in work or sex or booze or drugs or whatever WILL NOT WORK. It will just prolong the process and give you a new problem to worry about. Take it easy and know that life can and will go on and it can be as happy as you want it to be....and that is OK

http://www.groww.org/chat/gr.shtml

This is a link to a website called GROWW which is a grief support site with chatrooms for every sort of loss be it child or spouse, parent or even pet there is also a general chat room where there is always someone there to talk to and you know that they understand because they are going through the very same thing. It was a great help to me. I was a total basketcase when I found the site and now I feel like I can not only go on living but I feel that I can have a happy life going forward. Stay in the now do not look back or too far forward Today, Here, Now are your best friends so make them good for you and the rest will come. Good Luck and God Bless You. You Can Survive

A group for support may help. You really have to go through the stages of mourning to get to the healing. I threw myself into my church and work for 10 years. Then the job ended and I suffered again a sense of great loss. I was in my 40s too when I lost him. Now I have earned a college degree and am moving forward with my life.

I don't even know how to answer you and i hope i won't find out any time soon. I am so sorry for your loss i really mean that with all my heart. I did come close 3 months ago when my husband at the age of 49 had a heart attack and had to be operated on twice to fix the problem that was a rude awakening for me.

I can probably help you...my spouse passed

7 years ago.I'm not going to lie to you, it gets

alot harder before it gets better, but it will get

better. For a while I would wake up in the morning

and expect to see him. I knew he was gone, but it happened so quickly, I felt like I was in a dream. Then

one morning I woke up and I realized if it can happen

to him it can happen to anyone. We are all here on borrowed time, take advantage of the loan. I live

everyday like its my last because it very well could be.

I have a totally different view on life. nothings black and white. Lots of gray areas. When its time, you will want to move on. Exercise and Music are great mood boosters

for you. And invite those Grandkids over, children are wonderful distractions. I am so sorry for your loss, I know what you are going through. I noticed people were treating me differently, because they didn't know what to say. If you ever need to talk...email me.

Have a nice night.

There is no way to tell you how to cope with your grief. But I think you should not try to hide it or ignore it. If you're sad and grieving at this loss, then by all means FEEL it until you've worked through it.

But please rest assured that death is not the end, and your partner still loves you and wants only what is best for you. That means that if you go on to find companionship with someone else, you are not betraying or being unfaithful to your partner, and he/she will not be upset by it.

Take care my friend, I wish you love, peace, and consolation.

Be glad you had those people in your life, what your really sad about is the fact that you never got to say g'bye or didn't treat them better, love them more or angry you didn't get to spend more time with them.You were there in their lives as they were in yours. Just know that there are people misfortunate than you that dont have the chance to build extended families and to live happy lives like you do, even in Australia there are people outcasted by society. Take as much time you need to grieve and at the end of it be glad they were in your lives not that they are gone.

Living One Day at a time... staying busy... honoring the memory.

On the real bad days, a gratitude list will help... kids... grandkids.

I have NO family at all. REALLY none.

I have experienced lots of death.. it sucks...

But today, I would gladly change places with you.... Suffering the loss of 25 yrs of love and looking at the kids and grandkids that resulted from that love.

Friends and family! I can't stress that enough. My best friend lost her husband nearly two years ago while she was pregnant with their sons. Two beautiful boys whom he'd never meet. She got by with the help of her friends, who were also his friends, both of their families, and her church. Now, she is happily married again to a wonderful man (hubby number 1's best friend) whom I believe could walk on water if he wanted to and recently gave birth to twins...again! She still has bad days, but she's got a tremendous support system.

Grief is a process that all of will or have gone through. Some people need the help of medication, counseling, or other professional help...but for most, time and faith help a lot. So sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss.How does one go on after losing a 16 year old Grand Son? I'm still trying.Good luck.