What do I do if a leprechaun bit me?

Leprechauns are not known for biting. They do not suck blood.

I could understand if you got the character Mad Sweeney from American Gods by Neil Gaiman confused with the character Proinsias Cassidy from Preacher by Garth Ennis, but the leprechauns in folktales do not bite.

The leprechaun has two relatives, the clurachan and the fir darrig. Fir darrig means "red man." The differences are listed below:

Leprechaun - hoards gold, wears green, makes very small shoes, likes to play tricks, more playful than nasty

Fir Darrig - makes very small shoes, likes to play tricks, wears red, more playful than nasty

Clurachan - hoards gold, wears green, likes to play tricks, drinks too much, bad-tempered, doesn't work, more nasty than playful

Rub the bite with gold dust from the pot o' gold then stand under a rainbow for two hours. Failing this, drink unicorn blood. Unicorn blood is a powerful regenerative substance, and will heal all manners of injuries and illnesses. Be careful though, as it has to be fresh, and unicorns do not like it when you take their blood!

ohhhhhhhh snap......okay stay calm....

first of all you're going to need to get a bag. If you place the bag over the wound, the poison mist from the rainbow that appears can't be inhaled.

Then just wait a while, as the rainbow doesn't go away until you bleed at least 15 lbs of gold coins out.

After that you should be fine; congrats cuz you just survived your first leprechaun attack.

Watch the Leprechaun movies it tells you in one of them. It's the one when he is in Las Vegas.

let the wound fester until little teeny gold coins start showing up. When they stop popping out, drench the wound in isopropyl alcohol. Then apply 2 cups of rainbow. Should heal in a jiffy.

throw the leprechaun out a window then go to the hospital O.O

ride a unicorn to Mt. Morton

and find the magical cereal

than eat the cereal and jump in a circle singing

Mary Had A Little Lamb

then you will be cured

the next time the leprechaun bites you just beat him up.

Scream.

rub a 4 leaf clover on the wound.