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I can't get a girlfriend. Anyone have any advice. ?
I can't get a girlfriend. I'm so depressed. First off, I don't like going to clubs or bars to meet women, so I don't even know any casual places to meet new women. Secondly all the girls I've ever wanted don't want me, and all the girls that want me, I'm not really interested in. The women I find attractive don't seem to find me attractive, they think I'm too short and skinny. I'm only 5'7 and weigh 135 lbs. I'm not looking for love, I just want a companion that I'm attracted to physically and mentally. Ugh, I feel pathetic on here asking this question. I used to be really confident, because I used to be able to get almost any woman I wanted, when I weighed 155 and was lifting weights. But I screwed up a good relationship, and lost all my muscle, and none of the women I find attractive find me attractive. It's so depressing being short, I think I wouldn't mind being short if I was back up to 155 or 160 and had some muscle, but I'm skinny on top of being short, and women find that less attractive than fat men. I don't know what to do, I have a good personality, and an awesome sense of humor, but women seem to like muscly tough guys with a bad attitude, and I'm not muscly or tough, or have a bad attitude, I have a sad attitude right now but it's because I'm so lonely, and women don't like that either. I guess I'll have to settle for someone I'm not attracted to, because it seems that's all I can get. Do I have to really eat 5000 calories a day, and lift weights 3 times a week to attract a woman I like, because my metabolism is so high, I have to eat more food than overweight people eat, just to gain a little bit of weight. here's my picture, you can't really tell how skinny I am in it though. http://s437.photobucket.com/albums/qq95/kctocho/?a...
Thanx guys, everyone gave some good info. I think someone hit the nail on the head when they said I'm having an identity crisis. Guess I'll have to work at redefining myself.
81 Answers
- PivoineLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Look dude! You're taking yourself way to seriously. Somewhere along the span of your life, you forgot how to live. I don't know what happened, but it looks to me like you might be in search of your own identity. And since you haven't found your place, you are totally depressed and lonely and linger that way, and it's like a vicious circle you keep chasing your own tail.
I suggest you examine what have you done up until this point. Really well, dude. Cuz whatever you have been doing has brought you to where you are today. Perhaps unconsciously, but it did.
Now take a deep breath. Change is very difficult, and it may take a greater effort, but if you are serious, you can break the spell.
You don't 'get' girls. You make friends. The bonds of friendship are very strong, love can evolve out of that but merely, you need to start bey making friends, and thus learning to not just 'fit in' but be yourself.
You are an attractive guy, you have nothing to feel bad for. Instead of being embarrassed for being short, why don't you just accept that and use it to your advantage. You have other qualities that can actually put you in a way better light out there. People are sickened by narcissistic guys that just show off. You need substance. Actually I am totally confident that you have substance, you just need to let it be seen. Embrace your 'defect' and work with it to gain you what you want from life. You need to start loading up on some omega 3 supplements, to better serve your brain's chemical balance. But don't take my word for it, go seek a neurologist, a specialist and find out why are you depressed. Perhaps I might suggest you start playing tennis? It's a very good game for the brain, because it actually engages more sensory receptors in the brain. Therefore, you will have more dopamine release in the brain, and will see the world in a way different light. You might want to know, that being tall will not make you perfect. No way! It's actually the struggle to achieve that sense of self that will save you from your depressive track. Be yourself, be the best at being yourself. Only you can do that. Your friends are going to seek you out. The girls - believe you me, are going to be drawn to your confidence, than to your shadow. Practice your smile in the mirror, and do smile more. It will become a habit, and you'll be great at it. The world around you has a way of mirroring what you put out. Only put out what you want in return. If all fails, hang up and try again! Please don't let yourself sink in desperation, it's your only life, you have to try your best. It's not worth spending it in doubt and self- hate. You can do it! Smile, just smile. People will never know what you're up to, and that's the key of your success. Let me know how it works. Never settle, and always look for substance. Pursue what you want, don't just take what's handed to you. Life gives you lemons? you make lemonade, sugar! You will attract your match, and it will be perfect!
- Anonymous5 years ago
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- 5 years ago
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- ?Lv 45 years ago
Here are tips on How to Get A Girlfriend https://tinyurl.im/aH0FA Whether in high school, college, or out of college, when you know what to say and how to say it and how to act to make girls interested in dating you, life becomes a lot easier. It's not even about your looks either. I've seen attractive guys have a hard time getting a girl while an average guy gets a bunch of girls. You just got to know the tricks. Have fun.
- 1 decade ago
Funny reading this question as it reminds me of me. Especially the bit where you say the girls you like dont like you.
They always say, dont they, as I'm sure others will when they answer you that one day someone will come along and you'll just click.
But that doesn't always happen does it? I can honestly say there has been two girls in my life that I have adored but they did not have the same feelings. I didn't have to ask, it was obvious.
I have had a few girlfriends and now I have 4 kids with my current partner of 10 years. When I met her I must admit it was mostly I wanted to go out with her for the sex aspect. I thought she was good looking but it certainly was not love at first sight.
As time went on though we discovered we had simular interests and that makes you want to spend time with another person. Our humour was also a match and the laughs were always great and understood. Then you get to know what the other is thinking just by the way she looks at something or someone and you have an almost telepathic exchange! This type of relationship strikes deep and after a while you find you dont want to be apart from her, that you do in fact love her as I know I do my girl.
Thats my experience. What I will say is that alot of people dont act themselves in public or even with their mates. You should date more girls even if you dont fancy the **** off them and ask them about themselves. You'll be surprised.
- 1 decade ago
Lol for the first part.
You dont have to change what do you and how eat just to get s girl
cuz eventually she will tell u. "sorry but i only like you cuz you have pecks. which is probably a good...nvm anyways.maybe you dont want a girlfriend and you just want someone to talk to. I think you like the idea of having a girlfriend and not actually having one. companion doesnt nessicerily mean girlfriend maybe female friend. Eventually you will find the girl thats right for you when you meet her whether when your at school,work, or just walking.You will get a weird feeling. Dont sell yourself short.
speaking of short your not short im 4'11.And its not your looks because you look pretty cute.
- 6 years ago
Bueno if your in school the easy way out is too be Atletic. You run 20 miles for sure a girl will say hey to you. ( my brother run 10 miles and got 6 heys I run 6 miles got 4 heys)It happened to me at middle school. Problem is a guy you need to take initiative you can't wait for the girl. Another way is to demonstrate your smart or impres girls with looks if your rich it's much easier. If your past school be careful it's hard to get a hey unless your a policeman. By that time people judge on success
- Anonymous6 years ago
RE:
I can't get a girlfriend. Anyone have any advice. ?
I can't get a girlfriend. I'm so depressed. First off, I don't like going to clubs or bars to meet women, so I don't even know any casual places to meet new women. Secondly all the girls I've ever wanted don't want me, and all the girls that want me, I'm not really interested in. The women I...
Source(s): girlfriend advice: https://trimurl.im/c80/i-can-t-get-a-girlfriend-an... - particleboredLv 51 decade ago
The tail you chase must be pretty shallow! I can tell by your words that you care and you probably do have an attractive personality. Try to meet women at functions that you enjoy, so there will always be a common ground to stand on and something to talk about.
You might have heard the saying 'Lure with body, capture with spirit'.. which is a good philosophy for dating, but I honestly don't see anything wrong with your body and I know for a fact that there are many girls who like skinny guys.
The hard part about feeling sad and depressed is that it will never end unless you can find something to be happy about.. maybe it's your attitude that's screwing you up. Everyone I know who has crushes always pore over how their own happy attitudes infect them.
Get up and do something that puts a smile on your face. It's sure to be the only part of your body that needs works. :)
- ChaChaLv 65 years ago
Consider speaking with your family doc. They can prescribe something to help put on weight. Some antidepressants do that and you might benefit. But some doc's can instruct on other supplements, non Rx, that could help. I've always been attracted to smaller, more slender, guys, especially if they have a warm smile and are confident seeming. But, your type is also intimidating for some women, especially if they are insecure about their weight. Girls don't wanna be bigger than their man.