CONFUSED??? HUSBAND AND LOVER!!!?

Question

I am now married for four years and 3 months. When I married my husband cheated on me and there has been too many problems between us because of that. We have a little girl that is 11 months old. When I was 7 months pregnant he had to leave the country for immigration. As I am petitioning for him to get legalized. He has been out of the country for 14 months now. Which means he does not know our baby. Since he has left our relationship has become very hard. As his family has decided to tear us apart by telling him that I cheated on him and a ton of other stuff. Which at the time was not true. They even managed to get me out of my own house and I could not do a thing because the title was under my father in laws name but my husband paid for it. Any how, our relationship is at it's worst and he defends his sisters allot even though they threaten me in many ways (text, vandalism to car, phone calls, etc.) Any how, two months back I bumped into an old guy friend of mine. I have known him since I was a child and I have let out alot of my anger with him. We have talked every night for at least two hours for over a month now and I feel like I am falling for him. Sunday was my birthday and he took me out and was the sweetest person in this world. Without control we made love to each other and now I feel awfull. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I don't love my husband but it's so hard because of the distance. But then at times I wish he would never come back! As bad as it sounds I am falling for this guy really bad but can't live with it as my husband and I married thru law and thru church. My family would never accept the fact that I would want to break up my marriage. I AM JUST SO CONFUSED AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! Any advice???

Maverick D · Accepted Answer

It is a complex situation.
What I get out of this is that you really are fond of your lover.

Now here is how it shud go:
First of all forget about ur husband for a while. He is living far away anyways and u have never had a sound relation with him and u cannot afford to loose more bcoz of him. Also, his family is not supportive so for the time being do not consider his existence.
Now for ur lover: He gives you comfort, u talk to him without reservations....dat is all dat u want...a sense of having him right next to u wen u need him d most.....but there is a catch....maybe u r getting into things with swift bcoz u have been alone all this time and you wanted a shoulder to lean and some comfort....(making love is okay)....so..I wud suggest you to spend some more time with him and get out his true feelings for you. Once you are sure enuf...go for it and do not loose him!.!

U have every right to give the right direction to your life...so do not look at the road left behind and make ur future travel a joyride !.!
Take Care!.!
:)

justme · Answer

Your marriage is a failure. You know this, he knows this, now do something about it. Don't worry about what people will think - that's no way to live your life. You need to see this man that you're falling for, move out of your husband's house when you can, and start a new life. You can provide a father figure for your child, which is very important. Never stay with someone because it's too inconvenient to leave. One day you'd look back and think how inconvenient your life was because you DIDN'T leave when you had the chance and motivation.

Tiger by the Tail · Answer

Whose life are you living your family's or yours?  Do not do anything else with this other guy until your situation with the husband is put to rest.  Obviously his family does not want you or the grandchild in the picture.  Drop the legalization thing- he won't appreciate it anyways.  Tell your family about the treatment you have received from his family and that you are not willing to work on a marriage like this any longer.

hankerchief · Answer

Sounds like you fell out of love with your husband.  Too much BAD there to go back.  I say look into a divorce and give this new guy a chance but usually the first rebound never works out.

If your husband does get back in the country, make sure he still gets to see his daughter.

What? · Answer

Wow that's complicated.  It doesn't sound as if your marriage is a healthy or loving one.  Your husband isn't in the country and defends his family while they trash you and tear you down.  That's terrible!  I think you should do what will make you happy and it seems to me that the other man is the one that will make you happy.  Good Luck..  :)

jbhard86 · Answer

Simple, leave the controlling man and his family. HAve a great life you only get one chance at it so make it the best time you can!

*Blue8witch* · Answer

Whatever you do there is not JUSTIFYING THE PROBLEM cheating is never the answer it does not MAKE anything better ...What you need to do is just END all  PROBLEMS the lover,YOUR HUSBAND  and the MARRIAGE !!! YOUR ONLY OBLIGATION LIKE YOUR HUSBANDS IS to YOUR DAUGHTER .
SHE not ask to be BORN into these PROBLEMS !!

Miss. D · Answer

You have one life to live.
One chance.
Choose the person who you really - REALLY love
because, as I mentioned you have one life
you should make the best out of it.
BUT MAKE a choice.
and be ready to face the consequences.

Dominics` Lady · Answer

well its your life ok, not your family's you have to do what is right for YOU and your daughter, if your husbands fam hates you Y bother, especially if he beleives their lies about you. its time to move on in your life.

Anonymous · Answer

his family has made it very difficult on you.  i would have to start over with the new guy.

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CONFUSED??? HUSBAND AND LOVER!!!?

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