lack of sex drive but i caught him masturbating is there something wrong?

There have been times in my marriage also where the sex life has been a bit infrequent and I too caught my man with mrs palmer I chatted to him about it and he said the reason he did this and not approach me is realy because he is just so tired and as selfish as what it sounds it was just easier to get it over and done with in the shower, hopw this helps!

You have already DONE enough, and several answers here should help you figure some likely possibilities. Talking further about "the problem" prolly won't do much - he may not even know himself, and it's not really important.

Try to back off, not attend to him specially in any way. Take care of your own needs and desires as best you can (I know, not easy between other kids and pregnancy and feeling rejected). Get into doing things that make you feel good, or at least researching things you like, keeping up your relations with friends and relatives. Don't do it as a game, even though this will actually make you more attractive to him by changing your vibe - it won't work if it's just a tactic.

As a typical man with a lot on his plate right now, he doesn't want any "help" - he needs to take care of it himself. Tho he wants to be the one providing for you, he'll feel reassured seeing you don't depend on him for everything, and that will also inspire him to do as well if not better than you can do.

In the meantime, share your feelings with him simply, without implied criticism ("I feel sad, dejected", but not "I feel rejected" or words where he could feel blamed for causing your feelings). Show your appreciation for ANYthing he does for you, with a thank you or smile (but not "manipulative" explanations of why that was great or how he could do it better).

All this will give him the "space" he needs to get a head start for running back to you when he's ready.

1 Did he have this lack of sex drive during your other pregnancies?

#2 Have you had any complications in your past / current pregancy?

#3 Have you been obnoxious during your pregnancy? Regardless of your hormones being all over the place and women expecting us to be understanding, men are in fact human (and being abused can be a huge turn off).

#4 Maybe you have put on more weight than in the past and doens't in fact find you attractive or you aren't keeping care of yourself.

#5 The response above (about husband being tired and spanking off only takes a couple of minutes).

Thats all I got at the moment. I think you should probably talk to him again and see if you can find some other info.

I only read a few lines of your posting until I came to the '12hr day' part: this explained to me instantly what the hassle is as I've experienced it as a female.

Sometimes it is easier to escape into fantasy land [with no-one in mind particularly] and enjoy the big "ooosss" or for males ejaculate by themselves without the last minute hard work of an evening.

Next, I need to be honest and state that my husband was not as turned on by me during my two pregnancies [older children now] as he normally would be. He caught me a few times and I caught him out a few times. To my knowledge, nothing was taken personally. We were both tired on each of the occasions separately and its a quicker way to get off to sleep.

However, you need to whisper into your hubby's ear that you too are very very tired saying "Honey, I need your attention at the moment so we are going off to bed an hour earlier a couple of times per week before our baby is due. This may be the last time 'we' are pregnant and it should be a special time". Reassure your hubby that he will not hurt both your baby and that you need him inside you now; not in a few months time.

I always found my wife very attractive when pregnant. Not sure if all men feel that way. After I realized my marriage was "dead" looking back I realized that our sex life had gone downhill at the same time. You need to look for a deeper problem than just 'you're not attractive to him". Something or someone else could be bothering him.

As soon as my husband felt our baby move, our sex life went to zero. It made him very uncomfortable that he could actually feel her move around. I felt the same way you did, but looking back I understand that it wasn't because he didn't want to be with me, he just wasn't comfortable doing so while I was pregnant. I know how terrible it can make you feel though, hang in there & congrats on your baby. My little one is 4 months old and sleeping on my chest right now, they're the best.

I usually get thumbs down for this, but the fact of the matter is that some men lose their sexual desire for their wives when they're pregnant. I'm not saying it's right, or that it's fair, or even that it necessarily makes much logical sense. But it happened to me, and I am sure it happens to other men too. My sexual attraction for my wife came back after the births, and your husband's surely will too.

Some men just don't want to have sex with their wives when they're pregnant - I think they have some idea about hurting the baby or something.

Tell him if he ever wants to have sex with you again, he has to choose between you & his hand. He can go buy 5 wedding rings & put it on each finger & marry himself.

Nobody can really answer this but your husband.