How can I become closer friends with a Japanese person?

Question

I live in the UK and I have a strong interest in Japan and it's culture. Earlier this year I met a Japanese girl at my university, we started talking and she offered to teach me Japanese has been helping me learn it for a few months now. When we are studying she is very open and we have very interesting conversations with each other and have a laugh at the same time. 

I would like to say we have become 'friends'  BUT... when I meet her outside of these lessons, she seems to be very quiet and less talkative. It's like I'm speaking to a completely different person. I don't get it???.

Now I am not a psychologist, so I can't get my head around it. I am generally a friendly person, I have other female friends, and I can have a laugh with them wherever I am and I have never experienced that type of behaviour before.

Now this is the first Japanese girl I have met directly. Is it that she is just shy?, or does she find me troublesome?. I have tried on other occasions to strike up a conversation... but it just goes dead... now...  when I bump into her outside of these lessons I try not to bother her (I don't ignore her, I say hello and that's about it). I think she doesn't consider me as a real friend. I think this might be it, but I don't understand why it is so different when we are studying together. I don't think I have ever come across a person (male or female) this difficult to understand. It's been bothering me for ages.

Can anyone shed some light on this grey area???. I don't intend on having a 'intimate relationship' so I don't need chat up lines... I'm just not sure if she is shy or just doesn't like me?, if this is the case then it's a waste of effort. 

Please help!!!. Advice from a female would be invaluable to me or from a Japanese person. 

Thanks
MazdaTuner

cydthekid · Accepted Answer

I date a Japanese American man.  He was born in the US but his family moved back to Japan until he was 8 years old.  He was raised very traditional Japanese.  They are a very formal people.  Once you are friends and get to know them, alone at home they are very open and warm, but out in the world they are still very formal.

Hope this helps your understanding of the culture.

Anonymous · Answer

hmm.
well, i think that maybe she's just shy or thinks that YOU aren't ready to accept her as a friend.
i doubt that anyone would help another person learn a whole new language if he/she doesn't want to be your friend or dislikes you.
i'm a korean girl, and i find that occasionally i do the same.
i'm usually very open with people when it's one on one conversations but when i see those same people publicly, i can turn a little shy and act differently. 
however, this usually happens when i like someone...
so maybe, this friend of yours likes you too?
(:
i think that you should always be the first to say hi to her and start a conversation or plan to meet her outside of the lessons.
another reason she may be distant is because she thinks you're just friends with her to learn the language? and cause she's scared to approach for fear of humiliation or rejection?
i'm not too sure
i hope everything turns out well[:
good luck!

katie_vang12 · Answer

I think shes not interested in you. Its exciting for her to talk and teach about her culture and stuff to other race, but other than that. I dont think she given much attention to it.

Anonymous · Answer

well maybe she doesn't want to be anything more than what you already are

Anonymous · Answer

learn some jap bro

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How can I become closer friends with a Japanese person?

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