I want to spend more time with GF but dont want to seem needy or desperate.?

Question

I have been with my gf for 7 months.  We went through a period of not communicating and broke up for a week or two.  She rents a room from a friends brother at his house and when we were broken up she spent a lot of time with him...not really dating but spending time together.  We have gotten back together and have talked about everything and things are going well now.  My problem is that she still lives in this mans house and it really bothers me.  I trust her and she says they never slept together, but I feel like he wants to be with her and I don't know if she has told him that we are together.  She tells me she loves me and misses me, but I find myself wondering what she is letting him believe or what she has told him.  I told her I am not comfortable with that living arrangement and I asked her to move out as soon as possible.  I don't want to seem controlling, but I want to spend more time with her and I love her very much.  I have made changes in my life to help her feel better about who I am talking to or what I am doing, and I would like her to help me to feel better about this situation.  How do I deal with this without being "that guy"?  I have been hurt in other relationships and I find it hard to not think about her or wonder where she is if i don't hear from her.  I trust her and I don't feel that there is anything going on that I am unaware of but I want to spend more time with her and I want her to feel good about it.  I don't want to put myself in a posistion to get hurt or taken advantage of.  Any advice is much appreciated.

Anonymous · Answer

You are controlling and you already are "that guy"!

I mean, c'Mon, you asked her to move out! Yes, you wanted to be with her, but it's obvious the main reason is you don't like this guy being around your girl. Before telling her to move out and such, you need to realize the REAL reasons of your asking.  Question your emotions, because they got nothing logical.

As for your girlfriend living there, you need to realize something. She probably likes that guy...as a friend. She spent time with him ( a lot according to you) and he's probably a good friend of hers. 

Plus, she told you she never had sex or anything with him. What more do you need? If it isn't enough, you have trust issues. You need to trust her. 

And if it isn't enough, maybe she isn't the one for you. Maybe you need a less independent girl. One that would move with you when asked her. 

I'm sure you're a good person but you are controlling, whether you like it or not. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but you need to accept who you are and find some one that fits you.

Ashley88 · Answer

sit her down explian your situation and then make her think if she was in your shoes what would she want you to do if u made changes for her she should do the same if not then she must not really be into the relationship as much as u are i am sorry if i sound rude or anything but i know how u feel i went through sorta the same thing u are now going through wish u and her luck

Spontaneous Improvisation · Answer

You seem to be the only one making an effort in this relationship, you changed things like who you talk to and what you do, but by the sounds of things she doesn't want to move out or cannot be bothered.
Explain your feelings to her, and how you have changed for her, and if she won't change for you then life could be better without her.

Sally L · Answer

To want her to move out seems pretty extreme. moving can be expensive, don't know about your area.  why not go over there and spend time with them, see how they interact.  you may got another friend.

consider answering my ? please

angie · Answer

if it's possible, ask her if she wants to move in with you. good luck

Sophie · Answer

tell her how u feel.x 
MERRY XMAS

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I want to spend more time with GF but dont want to seem needy or desperate.?

6 Answers