Boyfriend's son is rude & disrespectful to me, and my b/f does not correct this behavior. What should I do?

I have to agree with the poster who said that this is a package deal. What you see is what you get. Of course, you could demand more respect, and perhaps that is worth a try. However, a potential-stepmother-figure really owes it to herself to be realistic about the amount of change she can impose ethically. It's not a lot. Think of it this way: if there is a mom and a dad and 1 kid, then each of them has 33% of the power in the family (in a reasonably well-functioning one). Enter yourself, and each of you has 25%. This is a heck of a lot different than the 50% power/authority you can expect when you marry a man without entanglements. Add more kids, a stepfather, perhaps involved/opinionated grandparents... and you can see how your percentage begins to dwindle.

People (women and men) who enter into these families and try to change them do a great deal of damage to the kids, relationships, and ultimately are hurting themselves as though they are pounding their heads against a wall. Why would you want to do that? There's no need to "dump" the guy. But there may be a very real need to say "this relationship isn't for me, I'm sorry."

This isn't really about the problem you present. For what it's worth it does sound difficult for you and I sympathize with how it must feel to be somewhat powerless in such a situation.

Oh boy are you right, I had the same type of problem when I took on 3 stepchildren, basically what has to happen is - this is dinner if you don't eat it there is nothing else and his father and everyone else needs to stick by that. He isn't a baby he is 10 years old and needs to start learning he will not always get his way, cannot run the show and your boyfriend needs to understand that this is also him disrespecting you. If the relationship is going to work you must work as a team whether this is your child or not. Of course it also sounds like this child disrespects his father also, and Dad just gives in, put the brakes on it now but he becomes an unruly teenager.

You are going to have to make your mind up what you really want because you get the boyfriend with a built in family. The Boy comes with the package. If he raises the kid to be disrespectful, then he will treat you with disrespect. Dump this guy.

I would talk to your boyfriend about it and let him know that this is bothering you. That is the only thing you really can do.

If he doesn't come up with any solutions, to you, is it worth staying in the relationship? If it is and nothing changes, you will just have to deal. But chances are if your boyfriend cares about you at all, he will attempt to change this kids attitude.

Your Q. reveals a lot of your answer. You are not getting the respect you want. Why? Once you stand up for yourself and what you want others will do what they need to. Your bf, if he becomes something more serious, will eventually treat you with more disrespect unless you stand up for yourself. Anyways, you need to get your wits about you and speak to him and in one of these situations let his son and him know that you expect a different attitude and if you don't get it, you will not be around much longer. Your "bf" will then have to deal with that. You need to determine if this is what you really want. Stand up for yourself and do what you need to do to get what you want.

Bad news.....remove yourself from this relationship. it will never change. both parents are trying to hard to be the "better" one, they forget that this child is going to grow up and be a nasty piece of work...and then it will be too late. Put on your tekkies and RUN

have you spoken to b/f about his BRAT? do you have long term plans w/ b/f? if so, youd better rethink them. this kid aint going ANYWHERE at least for the next 7-10 years! r u willing to take a backseat to him?

why does his dad feel so guilty about the kid to let him abuse you? ask him. hes not doing the brat any favors, cuz when he gets out in the world.........................

The child is only doing what he is told to do..... If this gets to be to much for you find someone else that appreciates you!