i absolutely hate being sober... I have been a cranky child and a depressed adult my whole entire life so far.?

I loved alcohol. I left children's home quite mixed up and alcohol in my mind was the only thing worth living for. I wouldn't buy clothes or anything that interfered with drinking money. When I drank I just didn't care about anything, it was a moments respite from my head the rest of the time.

When it came time to stop drinking I couldn't imagine anything worse, the only thing worth living for and I could no longer do it. It was the last straw. And I was 21 when I was trying to stop and finally did when I was 23 yrs old.

I only packed it in when guilt of drinking ruined any buzz. Once I knew I was escaping and drinking for all the wrong reasons I couldn't drink in ignorance and drinking was mentally torturous. It became impossible when I tried to stop and seemed unable.

My drinking problem was largely a problem of my mind and what went on in it. There was no significant organic reason why I 'must' drink. I was sabotaging myself, by choice in ignorance. Learning better, more helpful thoughts doesn't come overnight. And it is no use pretending that the mindset that willingly allows itself to fall into dependant type drinking can be dismissed immediately and substituted for a healthy one just because its a good idea. A change of mindset has been hard one, in my experience.

In the short term drinking may relieve the thinking in your head and perhaps you are attracted to the idea of getting away with it for as long as you can. When I was 16 yrs sober, unknown to me someone put speed in my tea. I didn't know and I felt the best, most relaxed I had ever felt in my entire life. Then someone told me my tea had been spiked. I was immediately worried, would I now crave speed? was I going to go through it all again? - I did have a couple of sleepless nights, but I knew that if I took speed again that next time I would need a little bit more and it would do a little bit less. And also that I would do it progressively worse until I made the effort to stop and that effort would be harder the longer I addicted myself. In other words eventually I could not win and the quicker I stopped it the better for me. I was thinking healthily about this potential problem.

Drinking doesn't deal with problems, it makes more of them. Drinking doesn't deal with the underlying thoughts that underpin your shyness. No more than it makes me a world class footballer. It just means temporarily and at a cost, we don't give a damn for awhile.

If I was getting sober again now I would recommend smartrecovery.org. It uses the same or similar principles to Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, which is a cognitive (thinking) approach to emotional disturbance that I use on my mentality, the one that underpinned my drinking 26 yrs ago.

Good luck

Alcohol is a depressant so it's going to make you more depressed and cranky. I'm often depressed too but I know when I drink it makes me feel worse the next day and more angry.

I don't think there is something wrong with you I think there was something wrong with your circumstances as a child - people often make the mistake of saying there was something wrong with them when they had a bad childhood that they could not control. I'm sure when you think about it you have every reason to feel down because of situations that have happened to you growing up.

You need help for alcohol addiction and to work through your feelings that something is not right in your life. Alcohol is a short term band aid for the problems but ends up making them worse.

Good luck.

I don't think U want help not yet anyway but U have all the signs & so called excuses to drink & now U have a drinking problem I'm not going to sugar coat this either if U use booze yes even if it's beer to feel like that's the only way U feel good & happy about yourself than U have a problem AA does work that's just another cop out I hope U find your way soon

Read Rick Warren's book "The Purpose Driven Life" and you will eventually get out of your cunnundrum. You're just a shell of a person until you learn to be yourself. At that point you will be fulfilled and happy with your life.

"A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree." Proverbs 11:28

First line in the book: "It's not about you."

OMG i cannot believe the answers people wrote...

But you have got to make a change in your life! I mean you have a kid, you can't keep goin on like this.. I'm a shy person myself but I never resorted to drinking..

Completely serious advice here.

Try smoking weed in moderation, that should do the trick.

PRAY and if ya r too stubburn to pray, go back to drinkin, ya wastin ya life neways

Booz...is your solution . Stop being sober. If you cannot stand it.