What would your airline pilot announce that might make you nervous?

" Ladies and gentlemen, I have diarrhea"

"The toilets are out of order. You'll have to hold it til we get there."

(On a Canada to Australia Quantas Flight)

This really did happen. Some smarty pants announced it on the intercom at 2 AM, on the way to the washroom, while we and the stewardesses were sleeping....then about an hour later he did it again and said the toilets had been repaired. It was if the whole plane moaned a sigh of relief.

...Then everyone had to go at once...

The stewardesses never figured out who did it but the guy went past me to get out and back in and out again. I looked around and he wasn't there. This was over the triangle in the Pacific where many strange things have happened.

It was funny tho'.

But kinda scary too.

There are a lot of strange things that have happened over that area.

It's thought to be an entry portal for UFO's as many have been sighted there.

(loudspeaker crackles - button accidently pushed by pilot)

Captain, I've just removed this from behind the toilet.

It looks like a really long towel..

(pulls out a turban)

Boy, that Nyquil hit me like a ton of bricks!

Hey tommy ,ever seen a grown man naked? !

From the movie airplane of course,lol.

"Ladies and gentleman, it is my solemn duty to inform you there is only 1 parachute, and I'm outta here. D B COPPER LIVES!"

the wheels fell off the plane.

this is your captain speaking, i have a confession to make: I'm blind have and my partner just said we're about to crash

We just hit a reindeer!

sorry ladies and gentleman we will not make a safe landing

as scheduled.