Jehovah's witnesses only: concerning inactive and d/f ones?

in regards to your father , this is what i would say, you know dad, i know how much you want to get to the meetings, and i know jehovah know too. i cant imagine how you feel, except that i know you want to go , don't beat your self, and please know that others care about you and miss you. just keep praying , jehovah will help you , please believe that.

you shouldnt need to repeat this, pray before you speak to him so the words will come out in a way to reach the heart, the seat of motivation.

I am in a similar situation, but too much to explain .one more thing, dont ASK him about it ,because then he'll probably feels he has to defend himself, just keep reassuring him of your love, just a cheerful i love you dad ,

I DONT think your dad's promises are grandious, thats kind of harsh, grandious is with a puffed up attitude , and he means well. but each time he "breaks" his promises, he lets himself down, jehovah knows what the problem is. like your mom says . maybe best to leave it alone.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

every one has excellent comments and scriptural advise!! i found the 2002 august km most helpful.

best idea to read as many of the script as possible.

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PLEASE READ THIS ABOUT YOUR AUNT !! YOU NEED TO MAKE AN INFORMED , PRAYERFUL DECISION , AND DISCUSS IT WITH YOUR PARENTS ***************************************************

as far as your aunt, the BEST thing you can do is smile at her, as you are passing.DONT SPEAK about things. THAT could interfere with the spiritual progress that's happening. its nice you help her with the baby, that has to be encouraging to her, As a family member you need to prayerfully concider WHY you might speak to her, ask Jehovah to help you make the right decisionabout her being a family matter.

>> The 2002 AUGUST km<<< outlines how to conduct ourselves with our relatives. Each "caes"is different. I have a SEVERE mental illness, i got disfellowshipped shortly after my youngest got married. Im not making any justification for what i did, while i was df'd i moved in with my worldly mother, (my mental state was deteriorating)and sold my house. My mother had no idea how sick i was and she was often heartless, and spoke abusivly ablut the congregation . to make a long story shorter, .. the situation became that i couldnt live with her anymore, i was cnanging meds(per dr) and i was in a very bad place. So i called my daughter, who knew very well how bad things get for me, i told her what was happening, she and her husband allowed me to come and live with her. i chose during that time , not to speak , and not to eat with the family. she lived in a diferent city, i continued to go to the one i was df'd at. there was a lot of confusion,about my living with her, as you see there are somethings on how mych contact is clearly defined and some things Jehovah leaves room for personal choice READ THE 2002 KM!! read as much of the articles you can, hopefully you have accell to the library on your computer library , it will help you to make an informed prayerful concideration for your decision..<< <<<i was DF"D , i could barely look at any one because i felt so unworthy for betraying our heavinly father and my dear brothers and sisters, it made me terribly uncomfortable for any one to speak to me, as i didnt want them to become poluted by asociation. no matter what position jehovah was holding me in at that time didnt matter ,because i felt that speaking consolingly to the depressed souls didnt fit in this case, i jumped in the mud, and i had to let jehovah make me clean, and i wasnt going to get any one dirty in the process.

Its a rough road to be on , i ve been there, and nothing like a Smile brightens the day. ( but dont over do it)

hope everything turns out well, you are very young to have such heavy issues, but continue to roll them on jehovah. remember there are brothers and sisters praying for you and your father, and all who are in Jehovah's care.

i appreciated sugarpie's comment about the public talks, but i would let him know "i love you dad, and i lust wanted to let you know the subject of next weeks talk is -- "><" , just to let you know. OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES ! show loving patience, and by all means pray!

You never know how Jehovah will direct matters such as this. It's possible that maybe a really young one in the family might ask a question, innocently and out of the blue, which might get your father to think differently. The point is, if you are very specific in your prayers, let Jehovah deal with it. Don't stop praying, but don't take matters into your own hands, either.

edit: It's too bad your dad can't see and feel the love and concern for you and him here in Y/A. Brothers and Sisters from all over the earth that care about you and him. It might have the wrong effect if he were to know (extreme embarressment), but, it's a nice thought, anyway.

As for your aunt, much of the same applies, except the Elders will have to communicate with her. As was brought out at the Book Study, the Elders make an annual assessment of the d/fed ones in the territory. This cannot be hurried along as the decision to repent or not is hers and hers alone. So you personally can only encourage her by example. She has to want to repent, come to meetings and ultimately return to Jehovah. Agape, and please, in the future, ask questions like these of your Elders. They will give you an answer, tailored to your circumstances, from the Bible.

Rachel R

Throw your burdens upon Jehovah is the only advice that is the right path to follow as Katydint answered. Jehovah is "the hearer of prayers" & he tells us in the Bible at Ezekiel 34:16; "The lost one I shall search for, and the dispersed I shall bring back, and the broken one I shall bandage and the ailing one I shall strengthen- you do not know why your Dad does not go to meetings, but he does, you can only guess. He has not left believing in Jehovah so it may be because of what Jehovah says in the rest of verse 16- but the fat one and the strong one I shall annihilate. I shall feed that one with judgment.

All of us are imperfect and we mess up every day, that's why Jehovah sent his son Jesus is because He loves us(John 3:16) Both your Dad and your Aunt will be just fine, Jehovah does not forget the ones that are his people.

I've had two Brothers, my Mother, my Dad, & now a daughter that have been DF. I don't agree with how my daughter was & is still being treated, but I'm not going to go against the arrangement of Jehovah's org, all matters will be taken care of by Jehovah.

As for the fat one & the strong one that is spoken of there in the 16th verse, well Jehovah will handle them.

Jehovah knows how to give his people what will make them happy, be a good servant to your creator & as written "Jehovah will open His hands and satisfying the desire of everyone"!(1 Corinthians 2:9)

1 Corinthians 10:13 is a scripture that I think about all the time when my troubles & the troubles of my loved ones are knocking at my door, which seems to be happening more & more(2 Tim3:1-5)

Often it is not a matter of what or how we may say something to others but one of what we do ... As so many have said , prayer to Jehovah is a wonderful thing ... In all the years that i too was inactive i never stopped my own prayers so that he would know my heart ... Perhaps your father would do the same.... Always provide a good example for sometimes even a parent can learn from his children...

Edit to Ascendant , Although the mentioning of bribery or promises in prayer to Jehovah is noteworthy on your part it was hardly needed here for there was no mention of it by any .. A prayer to let Jehovah know that you worry of a family member and you simply wish help on the matter is after all ok , is it not.........? Of course it is for we have all prayed for family and friends alike and i think our Sister here knows the difference between an acceptable prayer and one that is not ... It was worth mentioning though .......

1. Your dad's reaction to meetings reminds me of the behavior of people, such as myself, who experience Anxiety Attacks, and are embarrassed about it. That term is confusing, but that's what the medical community calls it, when a person gets a feeling of dread when anticipating an event.

It's easy to say that one will begin doing something in the distant future, such as when the Book Study starts a new book, or at the beginning of the next year. However, as the stated event approaches, the feeling of dread builds, and regardless how sincerely one intends to do what was promised, the feeling of dread compels one to fail the promise. This is embarrassing, and I suffered with it for 40 years without being able to explain it, or get a diagnosis, because it seems very silly to dread going to a meeting.

I'm not a Psychiatrist or Psychologist, so I couldn't diagnose your dad, even if I met him in person. I can only say that the behavior you describe resembles how I, and others, with Anxiety Attacks have behaved.

I would ask him how he feels when the time approaches, to do something he sincerely promised to do, but then failed to do, and what caused him to fail to keep that promise.

Anxiety Attacks can result from chemical imbalances in the body, or from psychological issues, but there are medicines and therapies designed to help.

2. I don't believe it's appropriate to speak to disfellowshipped people about the meetings, or to pray for them. If you attempt to pray for them, you may find your prayers disqualified, from Jehovah's perspective. That happened to me once, when I prayed for a person whom I didn't know was disfellowshipped.

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I agree that public venues such as Y!A are not the best place to ask these questions, and I have declined to answer such questions here before, because of that. However, it seems that you need a fresh perspective on these issues that isn't available to you locally, so I've made an exception for you.

The bigoted hate speech you've endured here, and even the insulting, condescending assumption that you don't read your bible, are even more inappropriate.

Some people need to read the Community Guidelines with better comprehension.

Hello I do not know if this will help or not. I was inactive for 12 or so years. I also got angry if anyone tried to force me to attend meetings. It makes it as if I am doing it for them. You can not attend to please your family. What made me start going back was a few things. I left the state and no one argued with me about going. I also had been offended by something said to me. I had to understand not going did not hurt anyone but me. The person who said something to me was not even in the state anymore. After I started coming back I learned the meaning of what was said and felt it no longer offensive. This may or may not work in your dad's situation. But important to learn is we do not go to the meetings because elder so and so or overseer such and such.

The congregation of sheep dose not belong to these men but was purchased with the blood of Christ. Anyone can say the wrong thing even an overseer. Being an elder or overseer makes no one perfect, it just makes them a slave and minister to the congragation. Imperfect men are all Jah has to work with so we better be ready to have people say and do things that bug us.

It amazes me how people can go to work or out to the store and someone can say something rude or offensive and they still go back to work or to the store. The most important thing for you dad to remember is Satan can use anyone to trip up a person to stumble them. Our recent book study had a very good part on Jah's loving view of those who are DF This can help your dad as well. Finally for your dad, holding this grudge and being unforgiving can lead to him not getting forgivness. On the other hand he may just not want to go and uses this as an excuse not to attend.

And your Df aunt Ihave a brother DF. Satan is busy at making worship to Jah as hard as possible and setting traps. You can treat a DF person as a "man of the nations" so the common talk you have with a stranger, say if you see her with a flat on the road side. Jah loves Df people and we do too. When a family member is Df we are hurt and love them hoping for the best. I see nothing wrong with talking about your upcoming talk in front of her. I would also talk about up coming talks for Sunday's when ever she is around especially ones about love and how the shepherd left his 99 sheep to go searching for the one that wandered off. This shows the love that is there. Many times DF people feel shame and unloved, but they do not need to, a little guilt for the wrong and then move on and get back on track.

The witnesses have good suggestions, especially Angelmusic's husband.

#1) You should let the local elders handle the situation. Your dad has some issues to deal with, apparently he doesn't want to confide in you Rachel. He probally doesn't thinks it's appropriate to do so.

He's angry because you're trying to be his little conscience. LOL We all have those certain ones we wish to confide in. Now we can see why it's difficult to witness to relatives.

#2) Things ALWAYS work out better when we do things Jehovah's way!

Does this principle apply to everyone in the congregation? Or everyone except you and your aunt? I don't mean to sound harsh sweetie, but it's Jehovah that brings people into the truth, or softens their heart to return, etc...We can't do it with our power, looks, money or by our talks, etc...

May Jah be with you and your family!

Jehovah's Girl!

You are in a tough spot...following the organizational guidelines is the best way to know that you are pleasing to Jehovah.

Your Aunt is trying and I believe that in time she will come back into an approved standing before Jehovah.

When my granddaughter just a baby, we prayed to Jehovah that her mother would return to the truth...when she was 4, her parents got back together and were married. She wanted to know how she could help both her parents come into the truth, so when she was with me, we made it a matter of prayer.

Her mother was baptized last year when she was 7 years old.

At that convention, she said, Jehovah has answered my prayers, I have only 1 prayer left, and that is, that Jehovah will help my daddy come into the truth too.

She went home and he started to study; it didn't last long, his past caught up to him, he went to jail, he studied for a time, then quit again.

My point is dear sweet sister, we will all join you in prayer to Jehovah that your father will rejoin, whole souled. If he doesn't, then you like my granddaughter can sleep at night because as she would say; "I prayed knowing Jehovah is answering my prayers, it's up to daddy now."

May Jehovah prove to be with you as you strive to serve him whole souled, knowing that you have a very large brotherhood of witnesses serving with you, shoulder to shoulder.

For non-Jehovah's Witnesses reading this who are not familiar with what the Scriptures say on disfellowshipping, read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 and 2 John 8-11.

Regarding prayers, it would not be appropriate to bribe Jehovah with promises or you may find yourself in the same position as your father. Because the Scripture says: "Instead, you all ought to say: 'If Jehovah wills, we shall live and also do this or that.'" (James 4:15) So it is Jehovah's will we should be seeking and not making grandiose promises. If we were not serving Jehovah fully before, why would a promise change that? Not just a promise, but an exchange. Jesus said to let your "yes" mean "yes" and your "no" mean "no". —Matthew 5:37

As for your father, love him, shed a tear for him, pray to Jehovah, provide a fine example, express your concern to the elders. Be patient as Jehovah is patient. When the time is right, Jehovah will bring him back. I know this, as I experienced the same thing in my inactivity. But it did take a couple conversations that involved spiritual matters to get my spirituality prepped when Jehovah finally spoke to me by calling a Scripture to mind. Jehovah is the one who will bring him back. How that happens is up to Jehovah. So pray to him to speed up the time to help your dad return. Perhaps one day Jehovah will show you that now is the moment to say exactly what he inspires you to say to affect your dad's heart. Just don't try to force it. Let it happen on Jehovah's time table.

As for your aunt, if she does not live in your house, you and your mother should be having no contact with her at all. Review pages 206-208 of Keep Yourselves in God's Love to know how you should act. However, letting your aunt be in earshot with a statement of how glad you are that she is seeking a return, this can encourage her to continue. It would not be inappropriate for you to pray for her as long as she, you, and your mother are all doing as they are supposed to regarding disfellowshipping and your aunt is truly seeking a return. It would be inappropriate to pray for an individual that is disfellowshipped but does not act like it, as they are showing no respect for Jehovah's arrangement and may be considered fighting against Jehovah and thus apostate. There is a reason individuals are disfellowshipped.

I do not think it inappropriate to discuss disfellowshipping online, as long as the person is not questioning the arrangement as it comes from God's word. I understand that you are just seeking advice on your personal situation. Just be sure you and your mother are observing the arrangement properly.

Agapé

1. About your dad. There is not much you can do apart from tell him of upcoming events, like a special talk, C.o's visit and bringing out encouraging points you have heard while taking note at the meetings. And pray to Jehovah, that your father can be helped to set aside whatever reason he has for wanting to stay away, ask Jehovah and then leave it in his hands. In time your dad may come round. The new publication released at the God's Spirit convention, "Keep the love you had at first" is written just for ones like your dad (and aunt) who once active are now inactive.

2. About you aunt. I don't see any harm in telling her about your talk and letting her know meeting times and venues. The rest can be left up to her. And she can pray to Jehovah, and you can also mention her in your prayers. Our God is one of love and forgiving, who does not keep account of injury. Think how many times the israelite nation let him down and yet he still was there for them.

We are being encouraged to help ones who have once been active but are for some reason or other no longer so. If it were not for this admonition I too would probably be out in the cold. Living as an alien resident in a country I know little about, far from my own family and the burden of shyness makes it hard for me to reach out to the congregation for companionship. Yet the love and encouragement shown to me by just a handful of ones in the congregation who have gone out of their way to get to know me has helped a great deal.

I feel your pain.

I have a brother who is D/F and 2 brothers who are inactive.

I was also inactive for five years! I was raised in the truth and once I was 18 I got out of it. For what reason? I don't know. I just thought I was missing something in the world. My parents used to always encourage me and talk about Jehovah, and it would make me angry also. But, you wanna know a secret? IT WORKED!

IT always got me thinking about it. So don't give up. Maybe if you talk with people in your congregation you can find someone who was once inactive like him. Then maybe get him to talk to your dad for he knows the circumstance better.

I always felt guilty once I started coming back, like I wasn't worthy to worship Jehovah since I had left him. But the book study has been so great and encouraged me so much.

So maybe you could just talk to him about the meetings, a little at a time. Maybe a point or two that might encourage him.

Something like. "I learned how merciful Jehovah is. He wanted the Israelites to do whats right and return to him, and he gave them the way to do it. Don't we have an AWESOME God?