My dad might hurt my mom.....physically!!!! Long story...Please Read!!!!!?

When and if she ever decides to leave she needs to understand that a women involved in this type of situation is more at risk when they do leave. You can begin by having a safety plan in place, and contacting the local Domestic Violence Agency, they have shelters which they will place an entire family in for safety, far away from home. They will assist with divorce, housing, etc. There number is listed in the phone book, or simply go online and search National Domestic Violence Hot line, call them they will give you the local number. God bless & Good luck!

http://www.ndvh.org/

phone number to national hotline: 800-799-7233

Safety at home

When abuser is there:

* Stay out of rooms with no exit.

* Avoid rooms that may have weapons.

* Select a code word that alerts friends and children to call police.

* Leave suitcase and checklist items with a friend.

When abuser has moved out:

* Obtain an order of protection.

* Change locks on doors and windows.

* Insert a peephole in the door.

* Change telephone number, screen calls and block caller ID.

* Install/increase outside lighting.

* Consider getting a dog

* Inform landlord or neighbor of situation, and ask that police be called if abuser is seen around the house.

Return to top of Domestic Violence Safety Plan

Safety at work

What to do:

* Tell your employer:

* Give security a photo of abuser and order of protection.

* Screen your calls.

* Have an escort to your car or bus.

* Vary your route home.

* Consider a cell phone for your car.

* Carry a noisemaker or personal alarm.

Return to top of Domestic Violence Safety Plan

Protecting your children

* Plan and rehearse an escape route with your children.

* If it is safe, teach them a code word to call 911, and how to use a public telephone.

* Let school personnel know to whom children can be released.

* Give school personnel a photo of abuser.

* Warn school personnel not to divulge your address and phone number.

Return to top of Domestic Violence Safety Plan

Getting an order of protection

learn about an order of protection and injunction against harassment.

* Call the Police to get an immediate Order of Protection.

* Keep your order with you at ALL times, and give copies to family, friends, schools, employers and babysitters.

IN AN EMERGENCY - CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY

* Go to an emergency room if you need medical help.

* Take pictures of bruises and injuries.

I would get together any important paperwork, birth certs, drivers license, bank records etc...Get into contact with a safe house. You'll have to leave your stuff but it's Worth it. Bring some clothes medication and what's important. If you have a trusted friend have them take care of other belongings that you may want or need. I stayed in a safe house with my son for 10 months. Got a divorce and my ex husband is not able to have any visits with my son. Ever!!!!! His rights were taken away. Because of all the terrible things he has done to me and my son. Mom shouldn't worry about a boy friend right now. Her safety and the kids are what she needs to FOCUS on. There are safe house all over the country. Make sure that you have transportation of some sort. It will be hard but you can do it. Good Luck>>

OK, if this is a truthful story, you need to take action. Your father is abusive and you need to get out. Why have you not told your mother about this? Put a recorder in a hiding place where he usually does his abusive behavior and then take it to the police again. Don't you have family or friends of any sort? Obviously you have the use of a computer.What he says to you is one thing, but, physically hurting you is not acceptable. Seek any kind of help you can get. Also take pictures as soon after he hurts you as possible.

When a wife is abused and the State finds out then the State presses the charges and your Mother has no say so in the matter at all.

The Judge can issue a stay away order for as long as one year and if he is near her he can be arrested and spend that year in jail.

Domestic Violence is very serious all over the world, but in the States if they find out what's up, they will handle it.

When your Father appears in court the Judge can lift the stay or keep it that all depends on your Mother. If she tells the Judge I don't want him around me I'm scared for my life...the Judge will keep the stay away order intact for at least one=year and then set a court date again after that year is up.

In the mean time when that happens your Father has to keep his nose clean because if he hurts your Mother in any way, he will be arrested and serve his remaining time in jail and then appear in court again and the Judge can make the stay away order indefinite. Which means now he must divorce because it's over Jack.

it's sad that it is her or all of you (siblings) that have to do this but if you are really worried he is going to hurt your mum then the best thing for her to do if he doesn't go to jail for wat he did is move away but before hand gaining all rights to the children get a AVO (court order to keep him a certain distance away) then moving house it does not need to be far away but just away from where he is local with the kids out of the picture and them divorced there should be no reason for him to see her or need to know her details... after that in the new house/apartment i would save up for things like security cameras around the house/apartment and a intercom with a camera on it so she can see who is at the door, also if there is a strong nabour around that she can trust (after a while of knowing him of course) give him a spare key just in case, so if he hears any thing violent he can come over and help your mum also keep the police on speed dile but make shure she doesn't obsess about her safety because that cant be good for her.

i hope this helps & goodluck.

I think you are in a very tough situation. I wish there was a better answer but the law doesn't do enough to protect people like you. Try to contact a womens shelter in your area and ask for information on resources where you live. Go to the police. Don't be afraid to ask for help from anyone. Try not to challange him physically. Threats don't usually work. Appeal to his religious fealings if you are forced to confront him. Be carful! I lost a friend this year to a guy like this. Don't wait to contact any abuse or womens resource people.

Contact the Police, and possibly the Royal Military Police,

and express your fears about the bugging equipment.

Keep all tapes or notes that he writes, emails etc as evidence,

a court order might be the first step.

What people see on the outside world is often a mask,

am with you on that one, good luck.

She should get a restraining order against him. Definately make sure that the cops were called after that break-in. Just stay alert and if anything happens then call the cops again.

first off im sorry about this and what yall going through but yall should find out where his funds and take it and run move to a new state do not be listed do not go anywhere he think yall may go just move tell mom to go get out very soon b4 it get worse then what it already is....good luck please keep intouch

Report him to the Military Police; they'll court martial him and he'll probably be put in the Brig.