How do I handle this re-gifting situation?

Of course, the obvious part of the answer is: don't bring this up with her - she either won't get it or won't care, and in either case will just be angry right back at you for calling her on it. Best case is to let it go and laugh about it years later. If it makes you more comfortable to spend less on your nephews, eliminate the $5 cash, but I wouldn't go lower in an attempt to make a statement. The message will be lost on someone who clearly doesn't already "get it".

There are a few possible ideas to get her boys involved in the actual gift selection process (like a small-scale secret santa) that MIGHT help make her shopping a little less of a chore in her mind & possibly result in something thoughtful, but I wouldn't hold your breath on that either. Hate to say this, but your easiest course here is just to keep your expectations low, let it go, and don't bother trying to modify it. It'll only stress you.

Yes, this is another SIL issue. The usual pettiness that somehow goes with those relationships, and trickles down to your kids. Everyone would be better off just agreeing not to exchange gifts for b-days and holidays.

You are never going to be able to convince her to give your kids "good" presents. Remember, your parents are her in-laws, so there is plenty to find things to be jealous about. Your kids and her kids are all competing for the same source of attention and granny's gifts. Maybe she thinks your parents do more than enough for you, that she doesn't need to.

Yes, it is likely men / your brother is clueless on this. The only reason these events even occur is b/c of the women in the family. If the women agree to do nothing, nothing would get done.

Either way, she's clearly not thinking about you or your kids, so agree going forward to do nothing. Attend the parties, enjoy the food, and forget the gifts. She'll likely be relieved to not have to shop for your kids at the check-out counter.

Let it go. Your kids will learn that some people don't put much thought into things and other people do. If you are buying nice gifts for your nephews then I'm sure your own children aren't lacking gifts at birthdays and Christmas. It may irk you but there is no way to handle it that won't make you look petty.

My biological grandfather gave me two gifts my entire life. One was a pair of rubber flip flops that were 3 sizes too big and the other was a stuffed crocker spaniel that had a medallion with a bank name around it's neck making it obvious it was one of those free gifts you get when you open an account (I caught onto that and I was no older than 8). This didn't ruin my childhood and is now just a funny story I tell to help explain what a loser he was.

Bad gifts from one person isn't going to affect your children and you shouldn't let if affect you. Be the bigger person and ignore it. Tell your children to smile and say thanks when they open the gifts and you say thanks too.

Your sister in law is behaving like a real twit - but don't take it out on the kids. It's worth while mentioning it to your brother, because he probably isn't aware of what's going on and it's going to be easier to change things around if he's clued in.

Tell your brother that your kids would be happy with exactly what you give his kids - a gift card so they can choose what they want, because kids have very definite ideas about what they do and don't want. And do suggest a dollar amount. That puts it all up front and on an even footing.

If it bothers you that much perhaps you should suggest gift cards to each others children from now on. Even mentioning they are all growing into different interests etc.

I would not approach the subject directly as it is accusatory and will definitely become a guilt problem on her side. This could create a breach in the family relationship..That probably isn't healthy for the children involved. Good luck

Gift cards are impersonal! However, they are practical.

I think you should make an agreement with them though - maybe the gift cards at a set limit is a good idea - that means equal amounts are spent on them and they can buy something of their choice. It's a bit of a tough one to bring up though. I don't thinks it's fair to penalise her kids for her cheap ways though.

You could try bringing up the fact your son was told a gift he received was something his cousin received but didn't want and ask if it's true. That will alert her to the fact that you (and the kids) are aware this is going on!

Just let it go.Its only you that can make this a issue so for your children's sake just let it go.We all get gifts that we think to our self What was that person thinking.But your children are the ones that will suffer from a family fight.Make sure your children know the real reason behind Christmas.

just talk to her about it and tell her to make things easier on her that you are going to give her a list of reasonably priced items that your kids need that year or give them each a reasonable ($10) gift card for wal mart

Don't give cheap gifts to the kids, it's not fair to them. If you want to go in that direction, give the cheap gift to your sister.

Just write it in, better not to bother her with it, she was probably just unsure. People give blank checks all the time, so as long as the amount and signature are original, it shouldn't be illegal to add a last name.