Kids were adopted and wants to live with me!!!?

Depending on your state.....it could be possible for a 14 year old to go before the judge and explain why he/she wants to live somewhere besides where they are currently living. In my state, a child of 12 y/o must testify before a judge will grant a final decree of adoption............so, your best bet is to contact an attorney or go searching on the web.

They wiuld have to tell a judge why they want to live with you....have you promised them anything, did they always think you would come back and get them.....

One deciding factor would be your current stability and why you gave them up...were they in CPS custody, did you relinquish or were your rights terminated.

One thing to remember......just because one had an experience that dictates them telling you there is no way this could happen....where there is a will....then by all means give it a shot.

Take care!!

ETA:

Don't pay attention to the THUMBS....confer with an attorney, he/she is the only one who can give you the odds of whether this will work.

Since you are legally not their mother, it would be almost like my kids having "just cause" to petition the courts becasue they wanted to live with the neighbor across the street.

Again, if they have a good reason, they are being abused, for instance, then it is possible.

ETA:

and yes it will likely also cost a lot of money to wing this.

"When I gave my kids up for adoption my lawyer at the time said that when the youngest was 14 he could decide for his self if he wanted to live with me or his adopted family."

So you planned this right from the beginning?

(Disbelief that a person would fob off their kids and then plan to all along to get them back as teenagers after letting someelse do all of the hard work.) At 15 he's still trying to figure out life and now you want to undemine their adoptive parents who LOVE them too. They won't thank you in years to come for interferring like that in his life no matter how much your making the grass look greener with you while the youngest is15 years old, one day he'll wake up and see what's really going on and you could lose far more than you bargined for. If you truly do love your kids like you say you do then you'll stop being so selfish.

By the way at 15,16,18 they aren't 'babies' any more.

I don't think she would have wanted you to live your life this way. I know if I died I would want my husband to remarry and be happy. You don't say how old you are or how long she has been gone. Grieving takes longer for some than others. I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing wrong with adopting helpless children but don't make the rash decision to have a loveless life. I hate to tell you this but I can almost guarantee you that your girlfriend would have found love eventually. Not many people mourn forever and if you truly loved her I think you would have wanted her to find love with someone else instead of being lonely for the rest of her life.

If the children have been adopted by a family-they cannot move in with you. They're the adoptive family's children now. It's great that they want to live with you, and all but legally I dont think there's anything to stand on.

That's why your oldest had to be 18. What you can do is talk to the Adoptive family and keep having visitations with them and all.

The family will fight you on this one FOR SURE! And the thing is they'll most likely win since I've never heard of adopted children seeing their adoptive parents when they turn 14.

A lot of teenagers wanna live somewhere else than their parent's house! And seeing you they think it'll be great! but that doesnt mean they can.

I would look more into it, and ask another lawyer, because I've never heard this.

Good Luck with everything!

Whoever told you that is tripping. Now perhaps in the case of a divorcee parents someone that age could have some input on what legal parent they recede with. Being minors they can not just up and decided to live with their natural mother or anyone for that matter. You are no longer legally related to these kids and if you take them in you could be charged with kidnapping. If your 18 year old natural child wants to live with you no one can stop her since she is legally an adult. If the 15 and 16 year want to live with you unless they have the ok from their parents (which seems doubtfully) they will just have to wait until they turn 18 if they want to live with you.

I support your right to be with your children in many areas, but legally their parents are the parents, and I don't think a child can just decide who they live with at 14. I would think though that you can work with the family to try visitations/co-parenting?

Is there something going on with the parents that they want to live with you...have they explained what life is like with their parents?

I guess I just could not imagine how I would feel if my children came to me at age 14 and said they wanted to live with their other mother. As supportive as I am of first parents rights, I guess that is where I may draw the line, and if I am like that, I think many other families may be similiar. My advice would be to try to talk to the other parents and see if soemthing can be worked out so everyone can be happy....

I do not know who told you they can decide at the age of 14, but that is INCORRECT. It is true, in some states, that if a couple divorces and there is a custody battle, they child may testify around the age of 13 or 14, and the judge may consider the testimony.

They are the legal children of their adoptive parents- for life, but will reach the age of majority when they 18. That means they can live with whomever they wish, and the adoptive parents can do nothing legally. Until they are 18, their adoptive parents can keep them from you.

I doubt you signed anything like this, (because 18 is the legal age a child becomes an adult) but you could always try to contact the attorney who handled the adoption.

eta- I am not against you knowing your children. Just wanted you to be aware that the parents can fight you legally. I know- it sucks...

I'm going to guess that the reason they want to leave their parents of 14 years is because they are having conflicts with them (like many teenagers do) and not because of any outright allegations of abuse or neglect. Otherwise, it seems you would have mentioned that in your question or you wouldn't even have a question because the answer would be obvious. I'm also not going to speculate about why you had to give them up.

It seems wrong to me to take them away from their parents who have raised them for the last 14 years. In addition, I think that you would be doing the children a disservice developmentally. I think that they owe their parents of 14 years some respect and loyalty and should be made to stick with them and work through whatever issues they have and learn how families are more than just the people who's genes you have inherited. I imagine it would be easy for the kids to view you as a good guy and rescuer from the parents they see as disciplinarians, especially as teens who are probably trying to form their own identities and belief structures. I think you would disrupt and distort such normal developmental processes and you might be teaching the kids to quite on their family. Then again, you told us so little of the situation that there is no way I can know what is going on.

I can only assume that you made a great sacrifice 14 years ago when you had to give them up for adoption. I think you need to consider what is in their best interest again and if necessary continue to make the sacrifice to make them continue to live with those parents.

I don't know how much of a role you play in their lives but if you make them stay with their parents, I imagine you could still be a part of their lives. Maybe you could even sit down with their parents and explain that the kids tell you they want to live with you but that you think it is best for them to stay with their parents of 14 years. You and their parents could discuss the best way to explain this to the children and to give all of you roles in their lives.

SO, Basically what your saying is that you gave your children up so someone else could do the hard work and now that they are grown and old enough to take care of themselves you want to get the rewards? That is messed up.

A sixteen yr old will likely be considered a "mature minor" by the courts and be allowed to live with whomever they choose. Most courts will also consider 15 yr olds on a case-by-case basis. They family can't fight "you" as you would not be taking any legal action. They would have to fight the children, and the court would side with the wishes of the child.

If all three of them want to live with you, that's great! More power to you. I also got my son back from an illegal adoption/abduction -- not that this is your case, but family reunification at the child's behest can and does work. Depending on your state, you may even be able to adopt-back your child, as I did.

Ignore anyone who says your children "belong to" the adoptive parents permanently. That is false. The only permanent link is your natural connection to them as their mother. Others may have raised them, but the socially-constructed institute known as adoption (that did not exist prior to 1852) is not necessarily permanent. It is good if your children got a good home out of it, but I'm wondering if you were forced to surrender them not because of abuse but because YOU were abused and abandoned by the system?

Also, children do not owe parents anything, especially the parents who raised them. Those parents already received payment back in full from those children, many times over, by having the joy and love of those children in their live. Don't let your children be "guilt tripped" into staying with people they don't want to be with. They owe no debts.

Many moms I know are now adopting-back the children who were stolen from them or whom they were forced to surrender or give up. It happens. But usually only once the child is an adult and can be adopted-back under adult adoption laws.

Congrats on getting your children back! It is more common than you know.