The ex-wife of my soon to be husband??? ?

The only thing you can do is really ignore her childish behavior. That does not justify what she is doing, nor is it easy to allow someone to speak badly about you, but in situations like this just show her that you are smarter than her and will not partake in childish behavior. Most ex's are just jealous that the new wife is living the life that she though she would be living. If all she is doing is running her mouth, let it roll off your back. If it gets physical, then get a restraining order. And trust me, if it's this bad now, when you take this mans last name, look for it to only get worse. Just try to keep contact to a minimum, let your fiance handle all interaction with her. Once you are married, treat the children like they are your own, and ignore their psycho mom.Years from now they will remember how nice and calm you were, and they will also remember how nasty their mother was towards you. It's all about jealousy.

In all honesty be supportive to your husband and let him deal with his ex on a personal if anything needs to be said. The only thing you can do is advise your husband to get a lawyer and do everything he can within the extent of the law when it comes to his child. The ex has some serious issues here in herself and it is not your husbands problem that she does not like to travel to give him his child because she has other kid's and she doesn't want to drag them all out. It's to bad that this discomforts her because she needs to deal with it because your husband has rights. The next time you both have to go through the exes stress and she goes off like a fool let her see you both smiling and happy together as you pick up the child. You cannot argue with a stop sign so give her no power to upset your lives and act like an idiot. It sounds like she needs to be on some medication especially if she is acting out like this in front of her children. Her problems are not your problems so do not give her the time of day when it comes to personally dealing with her. I imagine you can truly see why your husband is not with her and someday as his child gets older this kid will form his or her own opinion about the whole situation. When you and Dad both have her make it the greatest times for her to remember and that kid will handle Mom in due time because she will know how much you were always there and so was the love.

Don't do it back. You're at somewhat of a disadvantage because of how second wives can look to people..but it's easy to disprove. Kill her with kindness, keep yourself together and be kind to the children. Be the kind of wife everyone wants to be. Tell the kids if they have any questions to not be afraid to ask you. If they're old enough, they'll eventually learn that their mother isn't correct in the things she says. It may take a little while but sooner or later she'll just look bitter. Good luck :-)

Continue calling her a "wex-wife" LOL ...just remember that she looks bad when she gossips. Don't sink to her level. Ignore her.

I had the same problem...I just acted like it didn't bother me because the people who knew me and her knew she was lying.....and yes it's jealousy on her part...my husband's ex wife would call and invite him over...or just find a reason with the kids to get him to come over or to call, I found out she was trying to break us up...well...she didn't win...she knocked off the crap after we got married....

Have to agree with Foxy Diva

Don't react to her! Let her talk she's probably just jealous!

If you talk bad about her, you will look just as bad as her.