I need help with a guy problem..... I need as much answers I can get.?

Hi Jessica,

Bad news, here. This guy does not respect or care much about you in the slightest bit... anymore... if he ever did. And it doesn't sound like he cares about anything except his own selfish pleasure.

Quote from your post: "he just wants to be friends but friends with benefits..." Gee, real nice guy that you picked.

Sorry, but having sex when you are not married is simply wrong... in my humble opinion.

Why?

Because you are unnecessarily risking serious heartache (wait... you probably are already experiencing some of that heartache right now... correct?).

Because you are also risking an unwanted baby, or an STD.

Because you probably already knew that premarital sex with some Romeo like your guy never leads to anything positive. Ever.

Because you already know that you should be dating nice guys who will treat you with dignity and respect while you are having innocent fun together. Honorable guys who would not ask nor expect you to do anything inappropriate.

Because a nice guy might observe the fact that you are playing around with just a random guy who isn't even your BF... and logically decide that you are not really the type of girl he is looking for... but you might not have thought of that possibility.

Long term, you already know that you should find a special guy who will be honorable and be very good to you as decent young woman. A guy who will be proud to take you home to meet his parents and his family. A guy that you would be pleased to take home to be introduced to your parents and family. A guy who will ask for your hand in marriage. A guy who is deeply in love with you and is willing to stand together with you in a wedding ceremony before both of your families in church.

Jessica, you should not waste your time and squander yourself on a guy who is not honorable and just wants to use your body for his own selfish desires... for a while... and then he would be gone.

That is much more likely to happen if you have sex outside of marriage... oops, it's probably already happening to you right now.

You already know that you would have been much happier as you looked back over your youth... or even looking back over yesterday... that you would have been happier if you did not volunteer to get yourself into situations like this.

I'd be willing to wager 100-to-1 odds that you were not a virgin before this incident... 100-to-1 odds that a situation similar to this one has happened to you previously at least once before... probably on multiple occasions... and you didn't learn anything from those bitter lessons.

Will you learn anything today? If not, this problem is just going to repeat itself.

You probably are a really nice, fun, and pretty young lady. However, I doubt if anyone here on this board would like to be in your shoes right now. Those shoes that you are wearing are the ones that you consciously picked out for yourself... those shoes were not forced on you by that guy or anybody else.

If you decide to continue letting this guy service himself using your body, then at least ask him a few questions first to clear the air: If you get pregnant, will your guy deny that he's the Dad? Call you a sl*t? Marry you? Run away from you? Ignore you? Offer to pay child support for the next 18 years? Or advise you to kill the Baby?

Gee, that's nice... which option would you prefer, Jessica?

To be honest, I really don't understand how joining body & soul without any commitment can be satisfying... but that's just me.

Question, Jessica: Have you been hoping that this guy would fall in love with you, and ask for your hand in marriage?

Well... if I were him, and I was out joining body & soul with a girl who didn't seem to mind that we had absolutely no commitment... just because she happened to fall for my line of crap... I would seriously wonder who else's crap she was falling for when I wasn't around. I would wonder how many other guys came before me (no pun intended). And I probably would think that it was none of my business... so I would never ask. But it would be extremely unlikely that I would ever consider her to be a good prospect for marriage.

In closing, perhaps looking at your situation from a completely different perspective would help.

Let's assume that you have a sweet younger sister, and you've always been close and you love her dearly. Now assume that you happen to see that she has posted your exact question here instead of you.

What advice would you give to your sister?

Take care, Jessica.

- Charlie

P.S. - Sorry if this was a bit blunt... but perhaps some bluntness is overdue.

juss relax...c hw it is..cos if he sed benefits thn i realli don think u need 2 wrry nd he obviously does lik u

My advise is for you to forget him & keep your pants on.

"benefits" bring anything to your mind?