My husband is demanding I quit smoking pot.... but I don't want to.... what should I do?

When I met my husband, we both smoked pot. Later, he pretty much quit, but I didn't. He knew then, knows now, that I enjoy smoking. I don't drink, but he does. He's become a wine collector, and loves a good single malt scotch. That said, we both respect each others habits, and would never dream of demanding the other to quit unless it was perceived as creating a major problem. Out of control intoxicated behavior would be a problem. As it stands, we both have good jobs and a great relationship built on mutual respect. We are both responsible adults, have raised our kids successfully. We celebrated 25 years of marriage last year, and it's still good.

Tolerance is key. Find out why your husband is really so against your toking. Does it take you away from him? Away from your responsibilities to home and family? Perhaps some balance needs to be struck. Ultimatums are not a good opening salvo in the war for peace in a marriage. Calm discussions about your feelings are a much better solution. Talk to him. Find out why he feels this need to control your behavior in this regard. Find out why he feels pills and alcohol are a better solution. Educate him about pot if he isn't already; his ultimatums may be the result of misconceptions about the drug. Alcohol can have far worse consequences, it just so happens it's legal. Is it the legality that bothers him? Fear of you getting caught? You need to know the "whys" before you can deal with his issues. Communicate. It's amazing what can result when you are honest and respectful of each other.

Sorry to say, but you're living in denial. Your husband needs help, your son needs help and you need help most of all for putting up with this. You wont find the answers you're looking for here. You need to take the first step yourself by seeking a good family counsellor. There's even free counselling available now so there's no excuse. Tell your son he needs to get his act together, and fast. Some pathetic low life's will tell you that smoking pot is okay. It's not. It's a harmful drug that drains the life out of a human being. It makes people stupid. And people who endorse it are already stupid, so they don't know any different. It's pointless arguing with stupidity. Show your son where the front door is if he wont comply with a mother who's just looking for normality. That should scare the sh*t out of him. And mean it! Your husband also needs a bit of tough love. Some people think that counselling is all about holding hands and sharing your crap. Give me a break. I've been a counsellor since I was a teenager. Some people need compassion and others need a kick in the butt to get them jump started again. It's up to you.

"Pot is how I relate to people"? And you think NA meetings are BS? You are a classic case of someone who badly needs NA, considering how dependent you are on the stuff. Your husband isn't demanding you quit so he can control you, and he's not trying to keep you off any kind of medication or keep you from having fun. He's seeing that it's affecting your life in a negative way and harming your marriage. Most former abusers felt isolated, and drugs gave them a way to feel comfortable around others. But you need to figure out healthy ways to do that that don't involve drugs. That doesn't mean you have to stop socializing with your friends and family, but you might to find new ways to spend time with them.

Before you write off NA meetings, attend a couple of different ones in your area, just give it a try. You don't have to join if it's not a good fit; sometimes you need to try a few different groups before you find people you can relate to. That can be your first step to making some new friends that have the same concerns you do. You're not alone in this, the concerns you have are so common.

Wow.

So do you love MJ more than you love your marriage? Because that's what it boils down to. If you were smoking before you got married...and he know what he was getting into ..then it is pretty selfish on his part to ask you to stop unless you smoking is causing the main problems in your marriage.

For example, I know some pot heads who are lazy and unmotivated. Weed is their only true friend and they would be lost without it.

Now I also know some pot heads who smoke for fun and are very sucessful in their careers (and no they are not musicians or such.) and very motivated.

You need to seek counseling together and you should seek additional counseling for what sounds like a marijuana addiction.

Personally I think that drinking is worse...but it's legal and that's what it boils down to.

You can kick it with your friends if you quit. That's pretty sad if weed is the only way you relate to people. I used to smoke and have close friends that still do. We still hang out and have fun....just not with MJ.

Good luck sister and know you can have a full, fun, and peaceful life without weed.

If he knew you were like this before he married you, then he is wrong. He is trying to change you and control you. If this is something you hid until you were involved, then you should admit your wrongdoings and quit. Either way, though, you chill on the smoking. Find other way to get high, and relate to people. If not, then get high on love, love for your husband. Then you will realize what other marriage couples already know, that's all you really need.

Ask yourself if you are addicted to the experience?

If you are, then your husband has a good point.

If not, and it's an occasional thing, you and your husband will have to agree to dissagree. I treat the stuff like an expensive whiskey. Keep it for special occasions! If you'll loose your pot smoking group if you quit, are they really friends?

Ask yourself, "Am I truly happy with this man to be with him FOREVER no matter what?" If it makes you unhappy to quit for him then maybe you need to find someone who can accept you for who you are and what makes you happy. Maybe it use to be ok and you've grown apart & now that other things are going on it is a big issue to him.....but if there are ultimatums being given I have a feeling that there is ALOT of things going on that are bigger than the issue of you smoking pot.

If you quit smoking you won't be interested in hanging out with pot heads. So losing your circle of friends isn't going to be as big of a change as you think.

Quit smoking! Life is better when you're not in a cloud of smoke.

Same thing with my husband nagging and bi.tching about my drinking. He smokes pot everyday but he hates the fact that I love to drink. He doesnt think there is nothing wrong with smoking pot but hates my behaviour when I drink. I just get very happy and talkactive. My advice?..you are gonna have to do i ton his back. Thats what it is. Men are unhappy when women are happy.

Start looking for a place to live !!

what are you 2?? You will trade away your Husband and Life for pot and friends who are probably whacky as you are??

If you “NEED” pot to make or keep friends you must be very shallow.

Check the want ads under HOUSING –Cheap as you’ll be spending your money on POT.