Jokes:"...are better than men because..."?

Mr. Potato Head is the perfect man because he's cute and tan and if he looks at another woman you can rearrange his face.

Some things are better rich...coffee, chocolate, men.

Dogs are better than men because...

# Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

# Dogs miss you when you're gone.

# You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.

# Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

# Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.

# Dogs don't criticize your friends.

# Dogs admit when they're jealous.

# Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

# Dogs do not play games with you - except fetch

(and they never laugh at how you throw)

# Dogs are very happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know that the most important thing is that you're together.

# Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

# You can train a dog.

# Dogs are easy to buy for.

# Dogs are good with kids.

# Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.

# You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

# Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.

# The worst social disease you can get from a dog is fleas. (OK. The "really" worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)

# Dogs understand what "NO" means.

# Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.

# Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

# Dogs do not read at the table.

# Dogs think you are a culinary genius.

# You can house train a dog.

# You can force a dog to take a bath.

# Dogs don't correct your stories.

# Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

# Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.

# Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.

# Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.

# Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.

# Dogs admit it when they';re lost.

# Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.

# Dogs look at your eyes.

# Dogs like your size.

# Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.

# Dogs take care of their own needs.

# Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

# Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

# Dogs are nice to relatives.

# Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

# Both take up too much space in bed.

# Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

# Both like to chew food.

# Both mark their territory.

# Both are bad at asking you questions.

# Neither tells you what's bothering them.

# Both tend to smell riper with age.

# The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

# Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

# Neither does any dishes.

# Both fart shamelessly.

# Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

# Both are suspicious of the postman.

# Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

# Neither understands what you see in cats. (nasty little beasts)

Im a man and im better than a man because im a man.

I like my men like i like my hot chocolate: Sweet, hot, and rich =)

Thats all i can think of..

I'll take the man....