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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

bipolar ex gf, why does she already have a new boyfriend?

My ex girlfriend is bipolar and does not take meds. We were together for almost 3 years. We broke up a couple of times when she goes into a manic stage. She felt like she could do anything she wanted and i couldn't do anything about it. She talked to old boyfriends and lied to me about places she went and people she talked to. She would be very shady during these episodes. I couldn't stand it and we'd fight and eventually break up. She is very selfish during these times. When we break up she always finds another guy and starts dating and hooking up with them very soon after we break up and i don't know why. Is it because she needs someone around so she feels good about herself and doesn't go into the depressed stage? I know she still loves me and i don't get why she does that. When she goes into her depressed stage she wants me back. She always says she's ****** up in the head and hse needs me around to make feel sane. And she says sorry for all the stuff she did and she says she loves me.

We've been broken up for 2 months now. She goes out constatly and does things she normally wouldn't. She never talks to me unless its to yell at me for something i didn't do. She is very mean when she does talk to me and says some hurtful stuff. But i never did anything to hurt her.

Why does she always leave when she's manic? why does she act like shes totally fine after dating me for 3 years? feelings don't just go away. Why does she need a guy around so soon after we break up? She had sex with a guy a week after we broke up. I don't get this at all. also i think she has a new boyfriend. does she really like him? or is she just doing it to not be lonely and not have to think about our break up?

Any bipolar girls help me with this situation? any insight on why she always breaks up with me when she's manic? or why she needs a guy around all the time or why she acts like she's fine and that she hates me?

please help

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Mike, i hate to say it but youve got to get on with your life.

    I know how your feeling honestly, when you first posted about this it was when my bi-polar husband had left me. I must admit we have had some hard times too (think i posted to you before) and a few weeks ago we decided to give it another go.

    Till last night when i found out hed joined a dating site.....oh he says he didnt really want to meet anyone but it made me realise we cant do this to ourselves forever.

    My husband is opposite to your girlfriend in the respect that when hes manic he wants me there, he has big plans for our future together, and then when he gets down again he shuts himself away and wont talk to me.......he starts to blame me for all thats wrong in his life and he cant even see when hes upsetting me.

    There comes a time when even though it hurts you have to start to cut away from people........its wierd as a love my husband so much it hurts and he says life without me wouldnt be worth living......but i know i cant take much more of the strain.

    Bipolar doesnt go away, its there for life, your girlfriend will always be like this.......do you really want to keep putting yourself through this? You sound like a lovely caring fella, but it wears you to the bone. Ive been there for my husband, ive gone to him whenever he needed me to, i ve begged and pleaded with him to talk to me at times......and all the good its done me so far is for me to end up on anti depressants and sleeping tablets myself cos i honestly feel as though im living on a knife edge.

    Your girlfriend, like my husband, is using you like a crutch, she wants to live her life her way but she doesnt want to quite let go of her crutch just in case she decided she changes her mind.

    I think nows the time for us both to make fresh starts........lets stop being doormats to their ever changing emotions, they are never going to give us the stable secure relationships that we want (and i think deserve!)

    Who knows wht the future holds for us both, maybe when we start to live our lives again our other halfs will eventually realise what theyre throwing away......

    good luck xx and positive thinking to both of us xx

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First of all, DO NOT believe her when she says that 'you can keep her sane'. She's emotionally manipulating you, believe me, I do this stuff every day. She feels there is a need for cheating and lying to people because radically speaking, all human beings are crap and worthless, so they don't deserve any better. I mean that's what she might be thinking, because I do think that sometimes. She hooks up with people because she may feel 'afraid' alone - empty, worthless, without reassurance but at the same time she might not even like the people she surrounds herself with, it's just the fact that they are company...She uses you because she knows that you love her - don't let her do that, because you'll end up being really hurt. She knows that she can get away with anything she does, because she has her excuses. Also, I'm sorry to say that, but there is a very low chance that she actually loves you - how do you know she doesn't say the same to all her exes and random people she hooks up with? It's very hard for bipolars to be able to accept and give love. Also, they have a way of exaggerating feelings for one - she might hate you in the heat of moment then the other she's all over you again. Her emotions are 'unreliable' along with her judgment - that is a certain aspect of the disorder. She cannot control herself when she has manic episodes, because, well, it's hard to explain, it's a feeling of emptiness, numbness, lifelessness, I don't know - a need to 'get out'. You cannot blame her for that, it isn't something she can control but it could be if she took some medication. Only thing you can do is convience her somehow to get treatment. I hope I helped with the insight.

    Source(s): myself with my undiagnosed problem
  • 5 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Bring Ex Lover Back - http://exback.oruty.com/?Nkrt
  • 5 years ago

    You may be wondering how to get your ex back when he has a another if you're still in love. Go to see more: https://tr.im/WNph1

    Is there anything more difficult than seeing the man you still love with another woman? It's emotional torture and for many women it's something they have to deal with on a daily basis. Wanting him back after the break up is one thing but when he's already moved on and is dating someone new, it becomes a much more challenging situation. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle a situation like this if your goal is to get back together with him. Understanding the steps you need to take and what you have to avoid at all costs, will allow you to have the best chance of becoming the woman he loves again.

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  • 5 years ago

    How do you get ex back? How do you convince that what the two of you had together was special? This is your “get ex back” guide https://tr.im/sJqAp

    First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

    Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get ex back for any period of time.

    If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get ex back.

    Be prepared to chase him/her a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him/her hundreds of text messages or stalking him/her, but you have got to show him/her that you are still interested if you want to get ex back. You can’t expect him/her to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

    You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him/her the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

    Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get ex back may stop

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Discover how to get your ex back with simple text message: http://getyourexback.checkhere.info/

    Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is coming from someone with bipolar and similar behavior.

    I think it would be best for you to stay far away from her if she keeps hurting you like that. She has an illness that she should be seeing a doctor for but she has to WANT TO get help. you are going to keep getting hurt if you stay around, trust me, I know...I have done this to people in my past because I could get away with it. I am older and different now, and on meds, so I am not that insane anymore.

    You need to think about yourself.

  • 1 decade ago

    i know the perfect book that you should read.it will help you SO much

    its called "manic" by terri cheney.its a memoir.it talks about her boyfriend and alot of other things that sound like your gf here.heres the link for it

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0061430234/...

    it really goes in depth with the disease

    and jst advice:i know its hard but you need to stickk with her through the manic times becuase when she is depressed, thinking of you will make things worse and she may think to suicide.

    also, she NEEDS medication.manic people should not jst be roaming the streets.they could really hurt themselves

    i really hope i helped.

    and good luck!

  • David
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    She is mentally ill. Bipolar is a serious disease. No meds means erratic behavior. The illness controls her life. It has been controlling yours as well. You could benefit from talking to a mental health counselor.

  • 4 years ago

    2

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