Why do I feel so ambiguous about romantic relationships?

Question

I went through high school without having a single relationship. I had major crushes and a few close friendships that verged on relationships, but there was nothing official or physical about them. A few months ago I got my first girlfriend and was psyched for about three hours before I started to feel constrained and to worry. It didn't stop until I broke up with her a few weeks later. Now I'm lonely again and feel like I would like a relationship. Maybe she just wasn't the right person for me, but I feel like it's more complicated than that. I liked her more before we were "together". 

For instance, I THINK that I would like to be in a relationship with someone I've really liked for a while now. Then I worry that I would lose interest as soon as we were together just because I'd freak out from the strong feelings, and I don't want to break up with him right away and hurt him.

Does anybody have a similar experience that could shed light on what I feel are my hopelessly tangled emotional issues?

Confused · Answer

Maybe you get off on the chase, the whole wanting something but not having situation, then when u get it you realise it's not as great as what you'd been building up in your mind during the crush stage.
When people have a crush it's normal to think of the person as being totally amazing and like no other, usually when you get to know them fully you see that there not all that different from anyone else.
Youll meet someone one day that'll stand out from the rest.

Lizzy · Answer

You are just young
you have not had enough relationships to really understand how your feelings work 
just continue to date and do not over analyze things find people you are attracted to and date them 

that is what dating is all about trying on people to see if they fit

coolbreeze · Answer

I think it's just human nature the way it should be. man was not meant to be with just one person. it's just that society has determined for us that we need to be in relationships. it sounds like your better in touch with real feelings than most of us are willing to admit to.

shy2008 · Answer

Just keep trying, eventually you'll find some one you "click" with.  It's trial and error...just like most of life.  You'll find the perfect one...just keep trying.  Hope this helps...

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Why do I feel so ambiguous about romantic relationships?

4 Answers