Has any one got any jokes?

actually i have three jokes. do you want to hear them?

joke! joke! joke!

You Know You're A Redneck When... a million. You take your puppy for a stroll and also you each use the identical tree. two. You can entertain your self for greater than quarter-hour with a fly swatter. three. Your boat has now not left the driveway in 15 years. four. You burn your backyard as an alternative than mow it. five. You believe "The Nutcracker" is some thing you do off the prime dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furnishings. 7. You present to provide any one the blouse off your again and they do not wish it. eight. You have the regional taxidermist on velocity dial. nine. You come again from the sell off with greater than you took. 10. You hold a can of Raid at the kitchen desk. eleven. Your spouse can climb a tree quicker than your cat. 12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas record. thirteen. You hold flea and tick cleaning soap within the bathe. 14. You've been concerned in a custody combat over a looking puppy. 15. You move to the inventory automobile races and don't want a application. sixteen. You understand how many bales of hay your automobile will keep. 17. You have a rag for a fuel cap. 18. Your residence does not have curtains, however your truck does. 19. You surprise how carrier stations hold their restroom's so blank. 20. You can spit with out establishing your mouth. 21. You bear in mind your registration number plate customized on the grounds that your father made it. 22. Your lifetime target is to possess a fireworks stand. 23. You have a entire set of salad bowls they usually all say "Cool Whip" at the facet. 24. The greatest town you have got ever been to is Walmart. 25. Your running TV sits on most sensible of your non-running TV. 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet desk. 27. A twister hits your vicinity and does $one hundred,000 valued at of upgrades. 28. You've used a rest room brush to scratch your again. 29. You neglected your fifth grade commencement on the grounds that you have been on jury obligation. 30. You believe quick meals is hitting a deer at sixty five. 31. If your household tree does not department.....

A Mexican family crosses the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are paved with gold .. But the husband can find no work. His family is hungry, so he takes a walk to a quiet place at the foot of a big hill, kneels at the base of a tree, and begins to pray:

"Sweet Jesus, please show me a way to feed my family..." Eyes

closed, the Mexican does not see the Black man coming over the top of the hill, who is struggling with a broken grocery sack and who loses a wheel of cheese. When the Mexican man opens his eyes, the large wheel of Cheddar cheese from the Black man's grocery bag rolls down the hill and lands at the Mexican's feet!!

Oh, thank you Jesus, thank you", he cries, grabs the cheese, and runs straight home. Upon returning home, he gives the cheese to his wife and instructs her to make nachos.

"But wouldn't you rather have cheese enchiladas and burritos and other things?" she inquires."No, the husband says, "Jesus sent this to me with a message...as I ran home, I kept hearing a voice yelling.......

"THAT'S NACH-YO CHEESE"

Well in keeping with the earlier jokes:

What sound does a Japanes camera make: Crick

Scientist say 1 out of 4 people are crazy, ask 3 people, if their not, your it

this is actually a pj, but i like pjs better than jokes.

actually, its a heap of some.

which is the coolest and hottest letter amongst all?

ans-B, cuz its between A and C, AC(Air Conditioner)

why is elvis so cool??

ans-because of his fans(FANS, got me?)

why doesn't jet lee drink tea??

-because hes from china(chai-na, in hindi 'chai' means tea, and 'na' means 'no'.

heheh, hoped u liked it.

why did u ask, neways?

why was 6 afraid of 7?

because 7 ate 9 =]

HOpe i helped

yeha ive got heaps!! or you can go to www.coolfunnyjokes.com

this is a lame one

do you knwo the joek about butter?

i better not tell you cause you might spread it!!

Why does everybody hate math? Because it's full of problems.

a blonde and a brunette were walking down the street

brunett: OMG A DEAD BIRD

BLONDE:*looks up and covers her head* WHERE?!

ahaha