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Never trust a dog to watch your food.

When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid? – don’t answer.

Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.

Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to.

When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.

Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.

Never try to baptize a cat.

Don't eat the yellow snow.

Think before you litter.

Don't make a face like that or it'll stick!!

Cross your fingers and hope to die...NOT!

No matter how bad life gets you can always count on one thing..SUICIDE! jkjkjk

Love not war unless your bf cheats on you and then you must kick his a$$. ;)

lol I'm not that funny right now but give me a moment I just might edit. XP

~Peace

Shi

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease"

"Live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

"It's better to live as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't than to live as if there isn't a God and die to find out there is."

"A good book, in the language of the book-sellers, is a salable one; in that of the curious, a scarce one; in that of men of sense, a useful and instructive one. "

haha:

"I have learnt that I am me, that I can do the things that, as one might put it, me can do, but I cannot do the things that me would like to do. "

Oh yeah, and never sit on public toilet seats (especially in Highschool). Turns out there are other ways besides sex, to transmit diseases...

1. When your bf/gf breaks up with you, explode

2. If I add you as a contact, allow IMs

3. Play avatar games, like this: xxlilypadzxx is pretty! : D

if you absolutely cannot avoid a puddle.. JUMP in the damn puddle...

enjoy your life

cheer for the steelers

be yourself

when life gives you a lemon.. squeeze it in someones eyes

go to the beach... but dont just lay out... SWIM and jump and dive into the ocean

go to the zoo and act like the different animals

be spontaneous

camp out at the beach

drink champagne

smile

laugh

love yourself

CHEER FOR THE STEELERS!

Never put superglue on your finger before sitting down on it. Use rubber cement instead, it's easier to get off. :) Yep that's right you can always count on me for good sound advice.

Life is short, make stupid decisions in life, make twists and turns so life will be longer HAHAHA

Talk to young people with a bipolar disorder.

They have a lot to say(:

Take whatever life throws at you and turn it into a pizza.

if someone hands you green milk, dont drink it!!

if u come a cross a large brown rock, dont pick it up.

always love your family!! < thts not funny :(